Kevin was not keen on a long-distance relationship.
Living in Iowa, Kevin, 33, opened a CatholicMatch account in the fall of 2020. But, he gave himself a strict radius of 150 miles, since he was not yet open to meeting someone long-distance. However, a lack of matches made him reconsider. On the eve of Divine Mercy Sunday, 2021, Kevin found himself “in a mood,” where he expanded his search radius to 250 miles. The first result was a woman named Kelsie from Minnesota.
Kevin read Kelsie’s profile and immediately liked her. “She seemed super fun and had written some clever things that caught my attention.” He gave her profile a ‘heart’ and kept wading through the other matches. To Kevin’s surprise, Kelsie ‘hearted’ him back within a couple of hours!
Kelsie, 35, who had only been on the site for a few weeks, looked through Kevin’s profile after receiving his ‘heart’ notification. She liked him immediately, thinking, “wow, if I could be with someone like that, it'd be pretty great.” Kevin soon sent her a message, but Kelsie could not read it since she had yet to pay for a full subscription. So upon receiving the message notification, Kelsie ran to get her credit card!
As it turns out, that was money well-spent.
After two weeks of messaging back and forth (including messages so long that they often got split into three parts to meet the character limit!), Kevin asked Kelsie for a video date. They were both nervous at first, but actually hit it off right away. Since Kelsie lives in the country, her internet was spotty, leaving Kevin only blips of her video frame every few seconds. But thankfully, her audio was loud and clear, and Kevin says he found Kelsie’s voice “incredibly attractive.” The video date lasted for almost two hours! “We were like old friends that had so much to tell each other and neither one wanted to say goodbye.”
At the end of the date, they exchanged phone numbers and set a tentative plan for an in-person date the following weekend, on May 1st.
A meaningful, and providential, first date.
Kevin planned their first in-person date intentionally. They would meet at Pilot Knob State Park, IA, about 3 hours away from him and 90 minutes away from Kelsie, and then out for dinner at Cafe Mir in Fertile, IA. As it turns out, May 1st, the feast of St. Joseph the Worker, happened to be the 5-year-anniversary of Kevin’s grandmother’s death, and also the day Kevin planned on consecrating himself to St. Joseph. Kelsie later shared that two months prior, she had asked St. Joseph to choose a husband for her (with the approval of Mary as well).
At first, they both arrived at the state park a bit awkward and nervous, but that all melted away within a couple of minutes. “We were talking like we'd known each other forever.” They eventually got on the topic of visiting cemeteries and praying for the holy souls in purgatory–something they both have a special devotion to. They realized that this common connection was truly “something special,” as it was not something either of them talked about with other people before.
“It was a wonderful moment of recognizing something very unique that we shared,” remarks Kevin. (In fact, to this day, the couple has visited many cemeteries, blessing graves with holy water and praying for the dead…“it's our thing!”)
After three hours of hiking around at the state park, they drove to the cafe for a lovely dinner with some great conversation and big laughs. “I left that day knowing I'd met someone really special, and called a few folks on the way home to tell them about it,” Kevin shares.
A few weeks later, Kelsie spent the weekend down in Iowa.
While staying at a nearby bed and breakfast, Kelsie got a tour of Kevin’s home, city, parish, and office. During that visit, Kevin “awkwardly” asked Kelsie to be his girlfriend. She accepted right away, much to Kevin’s surprise. That Sunday, when Kevin picked Kelsie up for Mass, they were even wearing color-coordinated outfits, completely unplanned! At the end of her weekend visit, they shared their first kiss, and their goodbye got even harder.
What followed was a “whirlwind summer”, with many more visits back and forth from Iowa and Minnesota. They met each other’s families, attended weddings together, celebrated birthdays, and exchanged “I love you”. Flowers and letters were also sent in the mail, at least a couple a week.
Though the goodbyes after each visit were tearful, their love deepened between visits.
Praying morning and night prayer together, a chaplet or Rosary, and praying for the holy souls connected them spiritually as well. “We realized right away in this relationship that it'd only work if we kept Christ at the center. If we lost sight of that, we'd find ourselves in trouble.”
Kevin shares that through it all, it has been a very grace-filled time. A lot of things have gone so much better than expected. “Again and again, I find myself thanking God for finding me a woman that has so many wonderful qualities–it's that realization of ‘Wow, she has that thing, too–what a nice surprise.’”
A symbolic ring that almost didn’t make it in time!
On a Labor Day weekend visit to Iowa, Kelsie and Kevin began talking about engagement and started looking at rings together. They found a fleur-de-lis ring early on in the search that they were really drawn to. “Come to find out, the fleur-de-lis is a symbol of St. Joseph's lily and Mary's purity, which was quite fitting for us, as we'd determined that St. Joseph was definitely our patron,” Kevin remarks. So he ordered the ring, and with Kelsie’s father’s blessing in hand, made plans for the proposal at the next visit.
However, there was a mix up with the ring delivery, and instead of getting shipped up to Kelsie’s house in Minnesota, it got sent to Kevin’s place in Iowa! Kevin was already in Minnesota staying with Kelsie and her family. After some quick scheming, Kevin’s neighbor intercepted the ring and got it to Kevin’s mom, who drove it up to him in Minnesota a few days later.
On a Friday afternoon, in an empty church, Kelsie joined Kevin after work. As she walked in, she saw lit candles in three crosses (which also looked like hearts), and Kevin in his suit. He walked over and met her in front of the St. Joseph statue, next to a lily painting, and below a stained glass window of a fleur-de-lis. Then he got down on one knee and asked her for her hand in marriage, and she accepted!
The couple is now busy planning their wedding for May 7, 2022.
Some advice for those considering long-distance…
Kevin states how thankful he is for finding Kelsie on CatholicMatch, and for having the courage to try long-distance. A huge benefit of dating long-distance is that it moves the relationship along. “It's a decent sacrifice to be long distance, so it creates an atmosphere of commitment very quickly.” The drive to each other gets shorter each time, and the letters, phone calls, and video chats make up for the difference. “And it’s totally worth it for the right person.”
“The good things are 10 times as good as I would have expected, and the bad things are 1/10th as bad as what I'd expected,” says Kevin. Please join us in praying for Kelsie and Kevin as they enter into marriage this spring!
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