Jason Asked Out a Woman Who Rejected Him in the Past
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“I had been on CatholicMatch forever before I met Jason,” laughs Fredericka, 34. Even though she had been on CatholicMatch since 2008, Fredericka stuck with the website because she had converted to Catholicism in her early 20s and she wanted someone with the same religious values.
“I tried dating Protestants and found myself fighting with them on doctrine, so I knew that was a
recipe for disaster. I was encouraged by my spiritual director to try CatholicMatch, so I could meet people who believed what I believed. The way the profiles are set-up on CatholicMatch, the big questions are answered before I even meet the person,” says Fredericka.
Fredericka admits that she wasn’t very active on CatholicMatch for the first few years, but she kept at it. “Initially I thought, “Yeah, I will do this Internet dating thing, but I won’t ever marry anyone I meet off the Internet.” But the more she dated, the more she realized CatholicMatch was her best chance at finding a spouse. “I don’t frequent bars, and I have been in school my entire dating life, so CatholicMatch gave me the opportunity to meet people even though I was so busy; it just made sense.”
Jason joined CatholicMatch for the same reason—he wanted to be with someone of the same faith. “I had dated women who weren’t Catholic and it was too difficult trying to make it work. I didn’t want to compromise on my faith or my future children’s faith,” says Jason.
Talking for the First Time
In 2011, Jason contacted Fredericka and the two texted and talked over the phone, but Fredericka chose to pursue another relationship, which ended in a failed engagement.
“The blessing of this failed engagement is that I knew I was truly called to marriage. I never really knew if marriage was for me, but after the broken engagement I thought, ‘Okay, that was the wrong guy. I need to find the right one,’” said Fredericka. She dated on and off for another year or so. She was resigned to dating as long as it took to find the right person.
Connecting Again
In May of 2013, Jason contacted Fredericka on CatholicMatch again. “I was single again and wanted to start dating. In the back of my mind, I wondered if Fredericka would be back on CatholicMatch and something inside me said to look at signing back on. So, I signed in and I saw that Fredericka, who was my only ‘favorite’ from the first time I was a member, was back on CatholicMatch too. I paid for another six month subscription just so I could send her an email,” he recalls.
Jason says that he was willing to take another shot at a relationship with Fredericka because—in addition to her being beautiful—he remembered how much they had in common. “I wondered about her often, so when I saw her profile again, I was happy!”
Fredericka responded to his message by giving him her phone number and telling him that she would like to hear from him. The two texted for almost two months before their first date because Fredericka was in the middle of comprehensive exams for her PhD and couldn't focus on anything else. “Jason encouraged me over text and checked in on me, but never pushed me for a date. Once my exams were over, I let him know I was available for a date, if he was still up for meeting me,” she says.
The First Date
Fredericka calls her first date with Jason the best date she had ever been on. “When I first saw him, I remember thinking he was very handsome," she said with a big smile and chuckle. "I, of course, tripped right after hugging him and he didn't say a word.”
Their dinner was driven by Fredericka asking him lots of questions, followed by his responding, and then lots of uncomfortable silences. Fredericka remembers thinking, “Well, at least he isn't schmoozing me.” Fredericka says she enjoyed this because it was the opposite of most of the dates she had been on where a lot of talk led nowhere. “This experience was refreshing, yet scary,”
After their supper, Jason asked Fredericka if she would like to go to a concert with him. “Immediately I thought, ‘Fredericka, if you want to get married, you need to spend time with this man.’ So, I said yes.” Looking back, Fredericka realizes this was the Holy Spirit encouraging her to spend time with her future husband. The couple went to the concert and had a great time.
She found Jason refreshing because he wasn’t playing games with her. “He told me, with a big smile on his face, that he liked me and was so glad we were having a date. He also told me that he wanted to spend more time with me,” she recalls. “I knew exactly how he felt about me after that date because he told me—I’d never experienced that level of honesty or vulnerability before.”
Fredericka Was Sure She was Going to Marry Jason
After that date, the couple spent only one weekend apart. On their third date, Jason and Fredericka
went to the beach. While there, she said to him, “I am looking for someone to be my best friend first,” and he responded “Well, I want to be your best friend.”
“It was the sweetest,” says Fredericka.
By the fifth date she knew that she could end up marrying Jason. “We weren't even in a committed relationship yet, but I knew he was it. Something inside told me he was the one I had been looking for. There was a sense of peace when I was with him."
The couple says they think that meeting on CatholicMatch has made their relationship better—partly because they talked so much before meeting, but also because God was always a part of their relationship. “I feel like we are extra special because we met on the website. From the beginning, God was at the center of our relationship and I think this is partly to do with the fact that we met on CatholicMatch. We both wanted to meet someone Catholic and who had a relationship with God,” says Fredericka.
Proposal
Four months after the couple met, On November 24, 2013, Jason proposed to Fredericka. On a freezing afternoon, he asked her if she wanted to stop by his grandfather’s ranch and make a fire. She agreed, thinking it would be a good opportunity to spend time together.
After he put the fire together, the couple sat together for a bit and then Jason turned to her and said, “There is something I have been wanting to talk to you about for awhile,” Fredericka thought Jason was about to break up with her because she had been going through a hard time. “The reason I thought this was my parents were going through a bitter divorce. I thought he might
have been sick of dealing with all my crying and family drama,” she explains.
Jason’s intention were not to break up with Fredericka. “Instead, he got down on one knee, reached in his jacket pocket, pulled out a ring, and asked me to marry him. In the middle of him proposing, I screamed and started shaking him. And then I said yes,” she laughs.
The couple was married on May 3, 2014 and has just welcomed their first child.
Married Life
Fredericka says that she has never been so happy in her life before.
“Even when it is hard, it is better than anything I could have ever dreamed of. And I wouldn’t even say it is ‘hard,’ it's just different. Every day is a gift to be other-oriented and love your spouse. I mean, what an awesome life!” Jason agrees, adding, “I get to spend every day with the love of my life.”
The couple says the struggles come with balancing the work, family, and friends, which sometimes means not getting to spend as much time together as they would like. “We would rather just be with each other, but sometimes we have to get our work done!” They try to spend more time together by working together. Jason sits with Fredericka while she prepares for a class or grades papers, while she accompanies Jason when he has to fill deer feeders or work on his truck.
And A Baby Makes Three
The couple says that their baby has brought them closer together. “We and God made a person; it’s an amazing miracle to be a part of. We have learned how to ask each other for help with our son. This has really helped us ‘leave and cleave’ to one another,” says Fredericka.