Is Mental Illness Grounds For An Annulment?

Mental illness is a heavy cross to bear, no question. Whether you are someone who suffers from it, or a loved one trying to help someone cope with some form of mental illness, it can affect nearly every aspect of normal life and you may find yourself in situations you never thought would be possible, like divorce.

Many years ago, a friend of mine, Matt, married the love of his life in a beautiful Catholic ceremony. But, within a few months, his wife packed up her things, moved out, and filed for divorce. Everyone who knew them was shocked and in a state of disbelief. It was a devastating experience for him, of course, not only for the obvious reason, but also because his wife had hidden a dark secret from him... she was sexually abused for years when she was a little girl. Her trauma had gone completely untreated and caused her anguish to the point she was unable to consumate the marriage. Matt was completely unaware of this horrific period in her life until after their wedding, when she became so depressed she was suicidal. Her therapist recommended she move out until she could come to terms with her childhood abuse, and that advice is what got the whole divorce ball rolling. Matt, a devout Catholic who had married his wife with all the right intentions, was now divorced.

Over the next year, he had a tough decision to make... whether or not to pursue an annulment. He still loved his wife, but she had made it abundantly clear she would not reconcile and refused any further communication from him. So, the question on his mind, and on that of many people who have found themselves in similar circumstances was is mental illness grounds for an annulment?

Grounds are diriment (nullifying) impediments to a valid marriage taking place at the time of a couple's wedding. In the Code of Canon Law, canon 1095.3 states that "those who are not able to assume the essential obligations of marriage for causes of a psychic nature are incapable of contracting marriage." Although it is important for a tribunal to consider all the factors of a couple's relationship when making a determination regarding the validity of the bond, mental illness can be grounds for an annulment based on canon 1095.3.

I encouraged Matt to go through the annulment process, based on the desire to find healing, forgiveness for his wife, and just as importantly to discover which direction God wanted him to go from that point forward. Eventually, he was granted a decree of nullity and was able to move forward with freedom and healing.

How could Matt have not known about his wife's condition, you might be asking? Matt later lamented the fact that he and his wife really didn't know each other that well before they got engaged. 20 years ago, pre-cana programs were often comprised of just a few visits with the priest who would preside at the wedding and taking the FOCCUS compatibility test. Engaged Encounter was making a presence in the Church but it was not a requirement. Today, pre-cana programs across the country have been expanded and supplemented in ways that may have made all the difference in Matt's situation. But since this happened, he always encourages the engaged couples he knows to know each other as much as possible. "Don't be afraid—and don't forget—to have those integral conversations with each other so you can know each other as much as possible before you say I do."

I couldn't agree with Matt more, but I would like to also emphasize the importance of getting healing from the past for anyone who may be suffering from depression or any other form of mental illness like Matt's wife did. Depression, in particular, can be crippling but it is highly treatable. Some people never reach out for help because of fear, shame, or the assumption they will never be able to overcome their problems or the paralyzing emotions. If you find you are struggling with depression or other emotional problems which cause you to feel you cannot overcome them, I encourage you to seek help and find peace. A great place to start is at CatholicTherapists.Com where you can search for solid Catholic therapists in your area.

Feel free to send me your comments and questions at asklisa@catholicmatch.com.