Is Getting an Annulment a Sin?

Divorce is an ugly reality in our society. As a member of the only Church that upholds the teachings of Christ regarding the permanency of marriage, it is heartbreaking to witness so many Catholics divorcing, so many families torn apart.

After divorce, many Catholics turn to the annulment process as a natural next step in rebuilding their lives. Many find healing and closure in doing so, and are able to move forward to a happier life, but there are a lot of angry people who claim the annulment process is merely a sham; it is just another legal process that fakes people into believing they can dispose of a marriage they're tired of—and go find a new one without having any eternal spiritual consequences. Are they correct?

In many cases, yes.

It is true, unfortunately, that some Catholics use the annulment process for their own selfish gain. They do this by divorcing their spouses and abandoning their families, filing for the annulment process, and then lying about the factors they say caused their marriages to fail.

I know many who read my articles have expressed their pain over losing a marriage they were willing to fight for, and finding themselves handed a decree of nullity that states their marriage bond was never valid. For anyone in this situation, I am sorry this has happened to you, and I know you have suffered greatly.

Valid and necessary

However, there is an important fact that critics of the annulment process don't take into consideration, and that is, despite the fact some people deliberately misuse the annulment process for selfish purposes, this important process within the Church is still a valid and necessary one. Why?

First, because for a lot of marriages, there really was an impediment to bringing a valid marriage into being. This is something that can be very difficult for one to accept, especially a spouse who was forced into their divorce.

In my own experience, I did not want to be divorced. I was willing to forgive everything (and there was a lot, believe me) and work on saving my marriage. But the no-fault divorce laws made that a moot point.

It was only after going through the annulment process that I was able to recognize the obstacles that existed in our relationship. I could then see quite clearly that our marriage was never valid.

It was a bitter pill to swallow precisely because I was so vehemently against divorce, but the truth I discovered allowed me to heal and move forward.

Second, the annulment process by and large is administered by canon lawyers, both clergy and lay people.  Their sole desire is to complete an honest, objective, and thorough investigation of a marriage so as to determine whether or not the couple had a valid marriage bond.

Those involved include a Defender of the Bond. This person is a member of the team of canon lawyers whose role is to play devil's advocate in defense of the couple's union. These people take what they're doing seriously and rely on the Holy Spirit's guidance, because they know their own eternal salvation hangs in the balance of the decisions they make, as well as the salvation of those for whom they are making the decision.

Annulments through the centuries

But history also reveals the importance the Church has placed on the annulment process, because it goes way back, in fact, all the way back to the time of the apostles.

St. Paul allowed the dissolution of a non-Christian marriage (two unbaptized persons or one baptized Christian and one unbaptized person) in favor of the faith.

Why did he do this? At that time, many pagans were converting to Christianity and if one spouse believed in Christ and the other was against it, the marriage bond was dissolved so the believer could live out his faith in Christ—1 Corinthians 7: 12-15. Note, that the Pauline Privilege cannot be used if it is the baptized spouse who “departs.” If the unbaptized spouse is willing to remain in the marriage, and is not hostile to the Christian faith of the other spouse, the marriage cannot be dissolved except by death, as per canon 1141.

The Catholic Encylopedia reveals that in the 700's papal letters were written addressing and defining the norms of annulments, like those of Gregory II communicated to St. Boniface and of Alexander III to Bishop of Amiens in the year 726.

In the 1100's, Popes Alexander III and Innocent III taught that separation and remarriage of the separated parties may not take place merely on account of private convictions of the invalidity of a supposed marriage, but only in consequence of an ecclesiastical judgement.

In 1741, the summary decision of the bishops reaffirmed the teaching that in matrimonial cases a "defender of the matrimonial tie" (defensor matrimonii) must be appointed.

A tool for healing

Another reason the annulment process is a good thing, despite the people who abuse it, is the healing aspect. Now, does everyone who goes through the process experience healing? No.

Some people enter into the process only because they need a decree of nullity in order to remarry in the Church.

And, when it takes too long or the questionnaire digs up pain they have buried, they get upset and impatient. They don't like the process.

Others believe they did have a valid marriage bond and are offended at the prospect that they didn't.

But overall, the annulment process is there to help a person devastated by divorce by offering the opportunity to sort out what happened, recognize the poor choices they made, make peace with the past, and finally move forward in life with a clear and distinct direction.

All this can happen even when the decision is that the marriage was valid.

If you are wondering whether or not to initiate the annulment process, I encourage you to speak to your pastor about your situation first, and if you decide to proceed, enter into it with a sincere desire to honestly face your past and learn from it. If you do this, and leave the end result in the hands of the Holy Spirit, I believe you will be better for the experience.