If You'd Like a Free, Total, Faithful, and Fruitful Love, Read This
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Succinctly summing up St. John Paul II's Theology of the Body (a.k.a. TOB) while presenting it simply is a difficult feat. But Jackie Francois Angel and Bobby Angel have done it with their new book.
Forever: A Catholic Devotional for Your Marriage, released Sept. 1 by Pauline Books and Media, is a devotional that clarifies TOB for couples and uses it to draw them closer to Christ and to each other. It's designed for married couples but is safe, too, for couples who are dating or engaged.
The Angels intended for readers to read it over the course of six weeks, but I read it in a couple of days. And I have to say; it's brilliant.
They boiled several of JP2's heavy concepts down to quickly graspable gems. They covered topics that couples should discuss, including nakedness, sin, and the four forms of love as distinguished by the ancient Greeks (storge, philia, eros, and agape).
There is also humor. And vulnerability. And reasons for unmarried folks to hope, such as insight into Bobby's pursuit of Jackie (which included a cross-country road trip—men who truly pursue do exist!). But the book is also valuable because of the set of reminders it provides.
It reminds us of what underlies our attraction to each other.
"When you see a beautiful person across the room who takes your breath away, you have a tiny glimpse of what Adam saw in Eve" the Angels wrote. "Adam does not truly become himself until he sees himself in relation to Eve. Think of a middle-school boy totally self-absorbed until he is awakened by the beauty of a female classmate. His whole world changes!"
Our worlds change, too, when we let attraction do what it's designed to do: turn us away from self and toward the other.
Forever also reminds us that love requires authentic intimacy.
"All is revealed to the one who has vowed to love us totally—in all our weaknesses, strengths, quirks, and oddities," the Angels wrote. "This is real intimacy—or as the sound of the word suggests, 'in-to-me-see'—when someone can see all of who we are and still love us."
We foster true intimacy when we're willing to witness, respect, and cherish a partner's vulnerability—and when we're willing to let him or her witness, respect, and cherish our own.
The book reminds us, too, that we're most ready to love when we've first acknowledged and experienced God's love for us.
"...we must remember that only in God will we find the truth and happiness we have been searching for our whole lives," the Angels wrote. "Even as we journey toward heaven with our spouse as a 'helpmate,' we only love because God loved us first (see 1 Jn 4:19)."
I can't speak for the Angels but I can speak for myself—I felt far readier to love another after I finally grasped what God's love is like for me (and for you)—it's a gift, which means I don't have to earn it.
And finally, Forever reminds us that our love should mirror God's.
And that's what else Forever reminds us of: what God's love is like, and therefore, of what our love should be like, too.
"The crucifixion of our Lord makes absolutely no sense if we view love as a mere feeling. [...] Love demands real expense, not warm, fuzzy feelings."
The Angels later elaborated, "To be considered authentic love, as defined by our Catholic faith, there are four characteristic marks for this language of the body: free, total, faithful, and fruitful. These four marks can be used as a litmus test to determine whether our love meets the sacrificial, agape demands of authentic marital love," they wrote.
"God loves us not only when we are sinless and triumphant in virtue, but also when we act like whiny, tantrum-throwing brats and wallow in the muck of vice. His is a love that loves totally."
And this book is going to equip its readers to love like that, too—regardless of whether they're married. At the end of each chapter, there's a "Daily Challenge," which provides couples at all stages with something to do or discuss, and a prayer.
Which might be the most important part of Forever—it provides couples with opportunities to involve in their relationship the only one who'll ever truly sustain it: Jesus Christ.
For information about it or to order a copy, click here.
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