God Is Your Friend
23
In a digital world where views and clicks are everything, editors will sometimes use provocative titles in order to grab the reader's attention. One such title, God Is Not Your Friend, recently flashed across my screen that caused me to stop and read. My kudos to the author for writing such a provocative piece and asking profound questions on a topic that has been debated for centuries: friendship. You got me to stop and read!
Friendship is a topic that affects all people across the spectrum. The married readers grapple with questions like, “Can I have close friends of the opposite gender as long as my spouse approves?”
Single folk like myself ask, “Did I just get friendzoned by this girl/guy I’m really interested in?”
Young kids and teenagers struggle to figure out who their friends really are and what role friends play in their tween life.
Can God be my friend?
Despite our different circumstances and stages in life we all collectively grapple with the question, “Is God my friend?”
Jesus anticipates our struggle and perhaps even our doubt and responds with a resounding yes! “I have no longer called you servants...I have called you friends” (John 15:15). Jesus, the second person of the blessed Trinity, God Himself, calls us friends!
St. Francis de Sales reflects on this friendship with God and says:
“As soon as man thinks with even a little attention of God, he feels a certain delightful emotion of the heart, which testifies that God is God of the human heart. Our understanding is never so filled with pleasure as in this thought of God.”
What my vocation crisis taught me about loneliness
What happens when you don’t feel the warm fuzzies of companionship and loneliness is the prevailing emotion? We’ve all been there at some point. What do you do?
I got my answer on how to deal with loneliness many years ago when I was discerning a vocation to the priesthood with a particular religious community. I sold my car, gave away most of my possessions, and left my home, family, and friends to seek after the Lord.
I began my discernment and I felt nothing but the delightful emotion that St. Francis describes. But it soon went away and I felt nothing but loneliness. That feeling of loneliness started my “vocation crisis” and of course I had to address my feelings with my superior. The wise old Monsignor gave me this sage advice, “Look at the cross and see that Jesus is there alone and abandoned. Look at Him and fill your loneliness with Him.”
Does Jesus want us to rely on Him totally for friendship and companionship? Absolutely, yes! Am I getting carried away with Jesus being my all? I prefer to think not. Does a relationship with the Lord hinder or detract from human relationships? Let's talk about that.
Does friendship with the Lord prevent human friendships?
Jesus is my all and wants a deep, profound, and exclusive friendship with me. But God intended me to have good and meaningful human relationships because “it is not good for Man to be alone.” Are the two mutually exclusive? I don’t think so. There is a philosophical principle, the “higher orders the lower” that applies here. We can have good meaningful human relationships because we first have a relationship with the Lord.
A Dominican priest who was preaching about the Eucharist a few weeks ago at Mass said that true communion with each other comes about with our communion with the Lord. Just as two lines of a triangle come closer together as they get closer to the point, so two people come closer to each other as they grow closer the Lord.
We can be friends with our spouses or significant others precisely because we first have a friendship with Jesus Christ. And the closer we draw to the Lord, the closer we come to our friends. I don't think I can over emphasize this, we need to be close to Jesus as our friend in order to be close to other friends. We absolutely need Jesus.
Chickens + my banjo + fasting = happiness
I can appreciate the author's list of remedies to fix loneliness and have employed many of his suggestions. I picked up the banjo a few years ago as a hobby and learned to play. It's fun to bring my banjo to family gatherings and have a singalong concert. I also bought a flock of chickens.
Chickens are not affectionate like a dog, but they force me to focus my attention on another living creature that needs me to fulfill its basics necessities for life, food and water. They might not be the best companions, but I do get fresh eggs every morning for breakfast!
But I believe the list of lonely fixes is incomplete. God is the ultimate fix to loneliness not in the future, but in the present. You are lonely today? God is your friend today. If God is not included in your plan to fix loneliness, then the remedies the author suggests are only bandaids.
What do I suggest you add to the original list of lonely fixes? Prayer and fasting. Loneliness is inspired by a devil, the noonday devil to be precise, and Christ, when curing the demoniac says, "this kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer and fasting" (Mark 9:29).
Prayer is a conversation with God who is our friend and fasting frees us from our concern for earthly things to focus our attention on our friend. Prayer includes frequent and liberal use of the sacraments, especially Confession and the Holy Eucharist. Fasting is not simply restricting the consumption of food, but also includes fasting from worldly distractions like TV, or your iPad.
The Christian paradox
Christianity is a religion of paradoxes. The things that seemingly harm us give us life and vice versa. If you put down your mobile device with your social networking, you will actually be more social. When you have a friendship with God exclusively, you will have many friendships with humans as well.
God is our all. He is our companion and friend and He is our Lord and God. He wants to be with you in your joy and in your pain. He loves you as a merciful father and embraces you as a beloved son or daughter.
He wants to provide you every good and give you eternal happiness in heaven. You only need to ask for that companionship and He will give it you you.
“O God come to my assistance. O Lord make haste to help me.”
Find Your Forever.
CatholicMatch is the largest and most trusted
Catholic dating site in the world.