How to Live Liturgically as a Single Person

“We are what we repeatedly do.” -Aristotle

Rituals are meant to be opportunities for emotional connection. Going around the Thanksgiving dinner table and saying what you are thankful for the past year should be an opportunity to express gratitude and demonstrate who and what has been meaningful in a special way.

But we need to enact rituals and traditions more than once a year. This is one of the reasons why we go to church every week and why the liturgical year cycles through the same seasons, just like nature. We need repetition in order to grow in our understanding of tradition; to discover what we value and how we uphold those values.

If we value beauty, do we take the time to visit art museums or seek it out in nature? If we value connecting with friends and loved ones, have we established specific times and setting to share and receive each others’ inner lives? If we value knowledge, do we set aside time to dig deeply into the truth of the world?

Or do we fall into routine simply because we’ve always done it this way?

Let’s take a deeper look at what it means to create and partake in rituals.

Humans have engaged in rituals since the beginning, literally. Rituals are meant to communicate identity and history, stabilize relationships, and transform us from who we were to who we are becoming.

We can see this just by looking at the sacraments. Baptism is the iconic transformational ritual of the dying to the “old man” and rising in Christ. We repeat the words of the baptismal promises every Easter.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a ritual of relationship, in which what was broken is restored. It is not merely a confession of wrongdoing, but a mystery in which God Himself overcomes an unbridgeable gap to restore us to His love.

Marriage is a communication of the new identity of two persons within the identity of the Trinity. No longer are the two separate being, but their souls are now one.

The sacraments are our big rituals, celebrated by the entire Church. But what do our little rituals say about us? What do they tell us about our personal values and our relationship with Christ?

Since we live in different contexts, this group of friends in this city with this history, the way we live out these values will probably look different. We are blessed to have a liturgical calendar that gives us so many opportunities for delving deeper into our values and traditions.

Let’s go through a few feast days and some possible rituals.

Candlemas/ The Presentation of Our Lord (Feb 2): 40 days after Christmas, Candlemas is the official festival of lights for Christians. This is when Simeon encountered the baby Christ-child as his parents were bringing him to the temple to be purified.

Possible ritual: Read the Canticle of Simeon and meditate on what it means for the Lord’s promises to be fulfilled in your life. Host a special candlelit dinner party.

St. Valentine’s Day (Feb 14): No, this is not “Singles Awareness Day.” This feast celebrates an early church martyr who was persecuted for secretly celebrating marriages for Roman soldiers who were Christians in the underground church.

Possible ritual: Write love letters to God and/or people who are special to you (especially if they aren’t romantic relationships).

St. Patrick’s Day (March 17): He was an immigrant and an evangelist. And yet, is there a saint more associated with a specific culture than St. Paddy?

Possible ritual: Take the time to learn about the particular needs, desires, hopes, and fears of your immediate culture. Learn about the city you live in and its history with the church, good and bad, and where the people living next to you need God’s grace.

Annunciation of the Archangel Gabriel to Mary (March 25): AKA the one day in the middle of Lent when we are encouraged to celebrate (and eat bacon). This is a bigger feast in the liturgical year than Christmas. How do we acknowledge the gifts we have received?

Possible ritual: Have a day dedicated to discernment of God’s will in your life, the particular gifts he has given you, and what he may be calling you to do with those gifts.

St. Lucy’s Day (Dec 13): traditionally celebrated with lots of candles, sweets, and (if you’re lucky) coffee. In Scandanavian countries, St. Lucia’s Day marks the beginning of the Christmas season and is a sign of hope and light in the darkness of winter.

Possible ritual: Drive around with your friends looking at Christmas lights and talk about your experiences with hope, darkness, and light over the past year, and how you want to cultivate the virtue of hope during the coming new year.

These are just a few ideas. You can probably think of different feasts and celebrations!

Maybe you live in an area with lots of Hispanic culture and Our Lady of Guadalupe is celebrated with more enthusiasm than Our Lady of Lourdes. Maybe you are part of the military and have rituals around the feast days of the patron saints of soldiers, like Joan of Arc, Martin of Tours, and Michael the Archangel.

The point of rituals is to find the place where you connect your life with the life of the Church. Our rituals are meant to bring us closer to the One who loves us.

As C.S. Lewis says in his Reflections on the Psalms, “It is in the process of being worshipped that God communicates His presence to men.”

For more resources, check out Feast! by Haley and Daniel Stewart.