How to Feel More Hopeful About Your Future This Time of Year

Hope.

When I was stuck in the throes of my own prolonged singleness, hope was a hard commodity to come by. It was the one thing that I was constantly in search of (besides a suitable spouse).

I consistently fluctuated between hope that God did have a husband for me, and total despair that God was going to leave me single forever. This teeter-totter was a constant battle.

Given my regular struggle with hope, I was always on the hunt to discover how to find and hold on to it, especially since hope is the “anchor of the soul, sure and firm, which reaches…where Jesus has entered on our behalf as forerunner.” (The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) §1820; Hebrews 6:19-20).

To find hope, I needed to understand what it was exactly. 

First, hope is a theological virtue that we receive at our baptism (see CCC §1265, 1813, 1817-1821). It is from this virtue that each of us can hope for salvation through Christ. This virtue allows us to hope for marriage as well:

“The virtue of hope responds to the aspiration to happiness which God has placed in the heart of every man; it takes up the hopes that inspire men’s activities and purifies them so as to order them to the Kingdom of heaven; it keeps man from discouragement; it sustains him during times of abandonment; it opens up his heart in expectation of eternal beatitude. Buoyed up by hope, he is preserved from selfishness and led to the happiness that flows from charity.” (CCC §1818)

Hope is also a confident trust that we have in God to come through for us, to help us in our time of need. “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) Hope is believing, and believing is trust in God’s faithfulness. The necessity of fulfilling our vocation to marriage is a work that one can confidently approach God about in prayer and trust Him to respond with grace and mercy.

Ultimately, hope is a person, it is Jesus Christ. It is because of Christ that we have Baptism and receive the theological virtues. It is because of Christ that we can “confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and to find grace for timely help.” (Hebrews 4:16) This includes assistance with prolonged singleness and finding a suitable spouse. 

Advent and Christmas, a time for renewed hope.

Advent is the season before Christmas when we, as Catholics, anticipate the birth of our savior, Jesus. Derived from the Latin word, advenio, which means “to come to,” Advent is a season wherein we await the coming of Christ to us.

Prior to the birth of Christ, there was no savior, no grace, no hope for man to be set free from bondage to sin. As such, Christmas is when hope for all of us was truly born.

Whatever you may be struggling with, Advent and Christmas are a time for renewed hope in what God can do in your life. And this includes finding a mate and getting married. After all, a baby was born to a virgin mother in Bethlehem because “nothing will be impossible for God.” (Luke 1: 37)  

It was the Advent before I met my husband, and I was struggling mightily yet again. I was searching for a word of hope that God would help me amidst my complaint to Him about my single situation, my age, and what I perceived to be the complete unfairness of my circumstances. 

Then it happened.

God spoke to me through a scripture which truly let me know that He saw me in my aloneness and my prolonged singleness. It was Job 42:12a: “Thus the LORD blessed the later days of Job more than his earlier ones.” (NABRE) Up until that point, it never occurred to me that the later days of someone’s life could be more blessed than the younger ones. I was always focusing on what I had missed rather than having hope in God to fulfill and bless my older days even more.

It was still four long months since that Advent season until I met the man who would become my husband. I would like to tell you that I never doubted God would deliver me out of prolonged singleness after reading that verse and that I trusted Him the entire time. But you would know better! I will tell you that more hope was born in my heart that Advent because God met me where I was at, and He will do the same for you as well.

Because Christ is our ardent hope, we have hope for all things, even the hope to marry.

Seeing the Advent and Christmas season anew, do you have a better understanding of your own need for hope? How can you awaken your hope to marry during this season that is the epitome of hope? What do you want to tell God about your hope in Him?