Seamus says that his seminarian brother introduced him to his wife, which is intriguing since the two officially met online through CatholicMatch. It was only because of his brother's insistence that he should try CatholicMatch that he ever made a profile.
In June of 2020, Seamus joined CatholicMatch for a second time after signing up for a profile and then getting off in 2018 because “it didn’t turn into anything."
Their Families Told Them to Get Online ASAP!
For her part, Carol joined for the first time in May of 2020 and sent her initial message to her future husband less than two months later. In both cases, family members had either gently nudged (Carol) or overtly urged (Seamus) them to try CatholicMatch since they weren’t meeting any real prospects locally, which meant Los Angeles, California, for him and Dallas, Texas, for her.
Even though he realized it limited his potential for meeting someone, Seamus recalled feeling frustrated when he would receive messages from women, since as a man he would have preferred to take the initiative in contacting potential matches. Consequently, he didn’t read Carol’s initial June 26th, 2020, message to him, which said simply, “Hi Seamus, You have a great smile!”
His Brother Saved the Day!
Fortunately for the happy couple, mere days later after the message had been sent, Seamus’ confidant and brother, who was about to enter the Norbertine seminary at St. Michael’s Abbey that August, read through Seamus’ messages as the two were hanging out. Seamus recalled, “My brother read Carol’s message, made sure I know I don’t have a great smile, looked at Carol’s profile, and then gave my phone back to me a few minutes later saying, ‘Carol looks too good to be true.’”
Even with a stamp of approval from his brother, Seamus still took several more days to view Carol’s profile. To his surprise, as he read through, “[her profile] was the first one I had looked at and liked everything on it. Carol valued her faith and her family and prayed the rosary and attended Mass daily. She looked so pretty and cute in all of her profile photos.” At that point, he “messaged Carol back and was immediately hopeful she would overlook how long it took me to reply to her initial message and respond to me.”
She Was Patiently Waiting...
Carol did overlook the 11-day time lapse between her message and Seamus’ response, and the couple soon began talking regularly on the phone. They met in person for the first time in early September of 2020 when Carol flew to California for her niece’s Baptism. The 7-hour ride from the LAX airport to Napa for the Baptism flew by, as the couple “spent the whole ride talking and never needed to listen to any of the 8-hour playlist (Seamus) had made for the drive.”
While the pandemic brought challenges of its own, Carol and Seamus found that certain aspects of it were very conducive to their growth in a relationship. Carol noted, “Flights were cheap, they weren’t packed at all, airports were empty, hotels were cheap.” In Carol’s case, only going into the office once a week allowed her to spend more time in California. For the next seven months, the couple courted, meaning that they intentionally discerned marriage together during that period.
On April 1st, 2021, Seamus surprised Carol in the parking lot of her parish just before Holy Thursday Mass. Earlier in the day, Seamus had texted her as if they were attending Mass in their respective home parishes, and he suggested they both dress up and bring flowers to place before the statue of Mary at each individual church. Together that evening just before Mass, they went into the Marian grotto outside Carol’s church, where Seamus knelt down and proposed.
On Easter Tuesday, their engagement was blessed through the Church’s Solemn Rite of Betrothal, and they set September 18th, 2021, as their wedding date. Together, the couple discerned that living in California made the most sense for their job situations and mutual goals, and Carol moved to her parents’ house in Napa about a month before the wedding.
Next Up, a Pandemic Wedding!
The couple shared several highlights from their special day. For Carol, “getting married in the Church was a big thing for me, and then having all the family together.” Just one month before the wedding, a COVID-related restriction imposed by their reception venue had become a significant source of stress, but by God’s grace everything worked out in time for the wedding.
For his part, Seamus’ biggest highlight was “seeing (Carol) walk down the aisle.” He added, “having your names in the Mass prayers was very humbling.” Having dated long-distance and during the pandemic, “our wedding reception was our first official party together, and that was our first time dancing together and we pretty much danced together the whole night. In a lot of the photos of the reception you can see us dancing together in the background.”
But, Everything Wasn't Always Easy!
When asked what obstacles they encountered during their relationship, the couple agreed that dating long-distance proved challenging and then, gradually over time, became a blessing. Not being able to go out on a given weekend night (unless it was the once-a-month scheduled visit weekend) as would occur naturally for couples who lived close to each other prompted them to get creative with communication. The couple spent many hours on the phone getting to know each other and Seamus further commented, “I liked writing letters to Carol and the letters haven’t stopped now that we’re married.” As the relationship deepened, the two also found that the distance “definitely assisted us with remaining chaste before marriage.”
Seamus added that opinions from family were another challenge for their relationship since, coming from a large, close-knit family “Everyone’s giving their opinions whether you ask for them or not. And they love you so they want to protect you, but they’re not in the relationship so they don’t know everything. These are people that you’re turning to for everything important in your life.” The distance factored into well-meaning concerns expressed by Seamus’ family, since they had spent little time in person with Carol before the couple got engaged.
Reflecting on the blessings of married life so far, both Seamus and Carol are most grateful to spend time together each day “with the person (we) like the most,” sharing all the normal, sometimes boring moments of everyday life. Particularly after dating long-distance, when “every visit was exhausting, and there’s sleep deprivation,” getting to know each other day in and day out at a relaxed pace has been a real gift.
The couple thanks God, the Blessed Mother, their patron saints, their families, CatholicMatch, and Seamus’ brother for bringing them together.
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