Erin got on CatholicMatch first in 2016 but didn’t renew her membership beyond 6 months because she found that she was having a difficult time with it.
“I spent so much time instant messaging and forming my expectations of (a man), that when we actually met in person I was let down. Every time I met someone, I think there were 4-6 guys I communicated with and saw throughout that time, it felt like an interview and we didn’t have any chemistry.”
But, the Holy Spirit Had Other Plans...
Several years passed before the nurse from Chicago thought to herself toward the end of a night shift in late August 2020, “I haven’t met any guys in a long time and none of these doctors are interesting.” Since the thought had come completely unprompted, Erin took it as a Holy Spirit moment, and told God “Okay, I will try online dating again for 30 days, let Your Will be done.”
After completing the CatholicMatch temperament quiz, Ben's profile was the first to pop up as a ‘match’ based on her quiz results. Erin recalled “I was so impressed and attracted to everything he wrote on his profile” that she typed up a brief message, “Hi, I like what you wrote. If you like what I wrote, let me know, but no worries if not.” Ben responded that same day.
She Was His Very First Date!
Though Ben, an engineer born and raised near Peoria, IL, had had a CatholicMatch account continuously since 2013, Erin was the first woman from the site that he took on a date. Asked what in her profile struck him as different from all the rest, he replied, “She was real. I had chats with a few women on CatholicMatch over the years, but in 3 sentences Erin came off as more real and down to earth than any of the others.”
As Providence would have it, Erin had signed up to attend a Catholic women’s event in Peoria just a week after they met online.
Keeping in mind her past experience of meeting men in person after talking for some time online, only to find out that they had ‘no chemistry’ and the dates felt like interviews, Erin asked to meet during her visit.
Ben was initially reluctant to meet up because of a scheduling conflict, but because she “knew how important it was to meet in person and I didn’t want to waste time,” Erin was persistent about getting together in person. And so on September 7th, 2020, they met up in a park and walked and talked for 45 minutes, talking mostly about their shared Catholic faith. Both of them came away from that first brief date feeling surprised that they could be so at-ease and so completely themselves with someone they had only met for the first time, and a potential romantic interest no less!
That First Date Changed Everything!
That first meeting was particularly impactful for Ben since that was the night he knew he wanted to marry Erin. He shared, “The first time we met in person I knew she was different. I felt her soul was very strong with the love and desire for Our Lord.” While, “that first meeting was the exact date I knew I wanted to marry her,” it “just took a few more meetings and deeply personal stories to understand why I wanted to marry her.”
Due to scheduling conflicts, the first few months of Ben and Erin’s relationship were characterized by a few brief weekend visits interspersed with many letters exchanged back and forth. When they were together in person, the couple prioritized attending Mass or Adoration together, completing a 33-day preparation for Marian consecration, and even making a pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in La Crosse, Wisconsin. During those first few months, they also met each other’s respective families, and in April of 2021, Ben joined Erin and her family for a vacation on the Gulf Coast of Alabama.
He Proposed With a Rosary!
April 21st is forever etched in Erin’s mind, and not only because “God blessed us with the most beautiful weather.” That morning, while she and Ben were lying on the empty beach listening to the waves, he suddenly got up, knelt down, and proposed. After Erin accepted wholeheartedly, he presented her with a beautiful rosary. Erin commented, “Ben and I both love Our Lady and that rosary is a treasure. It has also been blessed by the priest who married us.”
The couple quickly set a wedding date, choosing August 14th because it was the feast of St. Maximilian Kolbe, a saint who himself had a strong devotion to Our Lady and because it was on the eve of the Marian feast of the Assumption. Since Erin had great mobility in her job as a nurse and had never planned to spend the rest of her nursing career or life in the busy Chicago area, the couple decided to live in Ben’s house outside Peoria after the wedding.
The day of their wedding was full of little blessings like wonderful weather, getting married in an aesthetically stunning old church in Chicago, and having beautiful music and singing accompany the wedding Mass.
Ben remembered that when Erin walked down the aisle, the glare from a car across the street from the church made it look like “she was emerging from blinding light.” Ben also related that during the vows, "I honestly don't recall if we were supposed to respond ‘yes, I do’ or ‘Yes, we do,’ but I felt a deep and true voice when I said very loudly and firmly, 'WE do'. Truth be told, Erin was saying 'I do,' and later told me I was saying what we were supposed to be saying.”
Ben’s takeaway from that moment was “Listen to The Holy Spirit and HE will always give you the right words.” The couple chose to incorporate the marriage crucifix tradition during the wedding Mass, whereby the couple together kisses the crucifix first after exchanging their vows and then kisses each other.
Since their wedding day, the couple has been adjusting to married life as well as Erin’s new job and beginning grad school. Asked about the highlights thus far, Erin responded immediately, “Living together!” Going from living three hours apart to spending each day together has been both a tremendous blessing and also a welcome challenge as two lives become one.
With Ben’s small town, rural living background, and Erin’s experience coming from a big city, the couple found early on in their relationship that they had very different viewpoints in many respects. While they shared a love for the Catholic faith as well as core values, each one often challenged the other to think about a situation or issue in a new light.
They Love Married Life!
As their relationship grew, and especially now as a married couple, they often find themselves reflecting, in addition to their own natural response, on how the other person would approach that situation or set of circumstances. Erin said they’ve found that what could have been an obstacle has been transformed into an opportunity for personal growth and personal intimacy.
Ben summed up the couple’s words of encouragement for anyone else considering joining CatholicMatch, saying “Pray! Have faith that God knows best and always pray the rosary daily!”
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