He Was Not Sure What His Vocation Was Until He Met Her

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Lillian was driving to meet Dominik for the first time. On the way to the state park where they were supposed to meet, she got lost. When she arrived an hour late, she was worried she’d messed up their courtship just as it was getting started. Fortunately, Dominik was late too.

When they saw each other, Dominik was surprised that Lillian had blonde hair. “Somehow I had the impression from her CatholicMatch profile that she had red hair,” Dominik remembers. “No offense to red-heads, but it’s a good thing that was just a passing affection!”

She was frustrated she hadn’t met her future husband yet.

Dominik (24) was a first-year graduate student in Illinois. Lillian (25) was seeking new career opportunities in Indiana. Dominik took the CatholicMatch compatibility quiz, the match portrait, and Lillian was his top match. After being on the site less than a week, Dominik messaged her. Lillian was the first—and only—woman he contacted.

Lillian was on the site for almost four years.

“Because my sister had done online dating, as well as several of my friends, I didn't feel like I was going into unknown territory,” she shares. “I did naively think I'd meet my future husband within a year of joining CatholicMatch like my sister had. But I soon discovered God's timing was different.”

Although frustrated she hadn’t met her future husband yet, she was not interested in a long distance relationship. “My search setting on CatholicMatch filtered Dominik out because he lived farther than three hours from me.” But Dominik sounded so happy and nice in his message that Lillian immediately messaged him back. “Although I was hesitant because of the four-hour distance, I also figured that if it worked out, that obstacle would be resolved,” Lillian says.

The curse and blessing of long distance relationships...

“The curse but also blessing of long distance relationships is that they require lots of work and effort on both parties,” Dominik says. The effort they would both have to apply indicated they were serious about pursuing a relationship. They started e-mailing every day. Next, they started Skyping twice a week, then every day for an hour. Soon, they made it a point to drive and visit each other every Sunday.

Lillian found it refreshing that Dominik was direct about his intentions of meeting her in person as soon as possible. “Before Dominik, the guys I messaged or talked with had a very different timeline than I did,” Lillian says. “Some wanted to message for months before even doing something as simple as talking on the phone.” Some wanted to talk on the phone for a year before meeting in person. “So the fact that Dominik had a very similar timeline in regards to meeting in person gave me a good feeling about him,” Lillian says.

"You can get caught in a dream" if you never talk face to face.

Dominik was grateful for technology that allowed them to see each other every day. “I think if you do

n't see each other in person, it's important to see each other face-to-face via some video calling software instead of just calling on the phone,” Dominik shares.

“It reminds you that the other person is actually a person. She is not just a figment of your imagination and perfect beyond all belief. You can get caught in a dream if you only write messages to each other.”

Lillian concurs. “One thing I love about Dominik is that he really knew how to make the long distance challenge manageable by making it a priority to Skype every day, even if only briefly,” she says. “That helped us stay connected and kept the other person real.”

She was impressed (and inspired) that he challenged himself to grow in his spiritual life.

Lillian knew she wanted to marry someone who was serious about his faith, family oriented, and had shared interests. Dominik was the first guy she met who daily challenged himself to continue growing in his prayer life and learning about their Catholic faith. She liked that Dominik values family time, which she especially noticed when he joyfully interacted with her large family of seven siblings.

Many of their first (and current) dates included long walks, picnics, and exploring new places. “One of my favorite memories was when we went to Chicago to explore the old beautiful churches there,” Lillian remembers. They shared a pint of ice cream as they walked through a beautiful historic neighborhood on their way to Saint Michael's Church in Old Town.

“I think I went into shock!”

One Sunday, they ate breakfast, then Dominik suggested they visit a grotto. “I didn't think anything of it since we'd been to the grotto before to pray,” Lillian remembers. Dominik had recently made a comment that gave Lillian the impression he wasn’t going to propose for a couple months.

After praying a litany to Mary in the grotto, Dominik told Lillian how much he loved her. He got down on one knee and proposed. “I think I went into shock because I was not expecting it at all!” Lillian says. “Afterward, we prayed a litany to Saint Joseph because I had been praying for years that he would find me a suitable spouse.”

Our relationship ‘clicked like a seatbelt.’

Dominik had three previous relationships that quickly ended as he discerned that God was not calling him to marriage with those women. In fact, early on, he was not certain he was called to marriage at all. “Despite my dating, I was actually seriously discerning priesthood before I met Lillian,” he reveals.

Dominik discerned for six years, but a week-long silent retreat in formation with the Jesuits gave him doubts. He noticed the other young men’s excitement for the faith and love of the priesthood. He did not have the same response. “I went on another vocations retreat. As one young married couple was speaking, for the first time I could see marriage as a path to sanctity.”

Not long after, he became lonely and was inspired to log on to CatholicMatch. “In February, 2016, I bought a membership and messaged Lillian (and only Lillian) and the rest is history,” he says.

“My spiritual director at the time was also the vocation promoter for the diocese, and he quieted any fears that I was running away from a priestly vocation.” Within two months, Dominik never thought of the priesthood again. “My relationship with Lillian just ‘clicked like a seatbelt’ as the Jesuit retreat director would say.”

After weeks of online communication, a near-miss first date, and two years of dating, Lillian and Dominik will be married in June 2019 in the same church in which Lillian’s two siblings were married.

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