For Lindsey, the Catholic dating options in Oklahoma were slim.
Lindsey had been on CatholicMatch off and on for several years and at 28, she was tired of waiting on guys to message her. She’d been on a few dates, but nothing had come of them, and besides, there aren’t a lot of Catholics in Oklahoma.
So, she decided to become a little more aggressive and a lot more expansive in her search. She began browsing profiles of guys who lived all around the country and sending messages to any man she thought looked interesting.
She stumbled upon the profile of a man—in a photo with someone she had met before!
One day, while perusing the profiles, she spotted a photo of a “really handsome” man with his sister and realized that she actually had met the sister years before in college.
The handsome man’s name was Thomas, he was two years older than Lindsey, and he had signed up about a week before. “I knew I wanted to marry a good Catholic girl that shared the same values as me,” he explained. “I signed up for CatholicMatch seeking that girl.”
She checked his profile and was pleased to find he claimed to believe all the Church teaches, so she did the logical thing and sent him a smiley face. A few days later, he wrote back commenting on their shared interest in travel and history, and they were off to the races, or at least the chatrooms.
Despite living a few hours apart, they were determined to meet in person.
The distance was a challenge; Lindsey lived in Tulsa, Thomas in Kansas City.
However, despite that, they were determined to meet in person as soon as possible, so they arranged a date in Joplin, Missouri, which was about halfway between them.
Seafood in Joplin doesn’t feature prominently in many epic romances, but for Lindsey and Thomas, the date was perfect.
“We were both nervous for the date, but also extremely excited,” Lindsey recalled.
“We sat for almost four hours and the conversation never stopped. The wait staff even switched shifts while we were on the date.”
She drove home smiling the whole time. Their next date would be delayed a while due to weather, but they both knew it was going to happen.
Little did they know that their relationship was about to become extra long-distance.
For a while they kept this up: dates in Joplin, or Tulsa, or Wichita (where Thomas’s family lived), interspersed with chatting online or over the phone. Then, a few months into the relationship, Thomas got a new job opportunity. In Australia.
Their long distance relationship was about to become an extra long distance relationship.
They talked it over, and Thomas resolved to take the job. This meant more video-chatting and phone calls, but no more face-to-face dates for a long time: not until Lindsey’s school year (she was a teacher) let out and she could take the trip Down Under.
They spent two months there together, exploring the continent and having adventures. Then, the following Christmas, Thomas was able to make a return visit to the States.
Thomas came home for Christmas with a big question to ask.
A few days after Christmas, the two went out to a botanical garden that had a Christmas lights display. It was cold and crowded, and Lindsey wanted to leave, but Thomas insisted they keep walking. At last they found a quiet, private spot devoid of people, and as soon as they did, he got down on one knee and proposed.
The next day, they drove down to Lindsey’s family home in Oklahoma for a surprise engagement party that Thomas had arranged (evidently confident of her answer). He had to go back to Australia a few days later, which meant they spent most of their engagement apart, but the following June they were at last married. Fortunately, by this time Thomas’s stint in Australia was up, so Lindsey was only faced with the complications and sacrifices of a move across state lines rather than the Pacific Ocean.
How did they make long-distance dating work? Their advice:
“Dating long distance was very difficult,” Lindsey admitted. “But we are extremely grateful for it. It allowed us to grow in friendship and learn how to communicate effectively with each other. We truly believe that our relationship is stronger because of the year we spent oceans apart from each other.”
Another key, at least for them, was meeting in real life as soon as possible. A face-to-face meeting, they say, lets you get to know the other person in a way that texting and calling don’t. “Texting is so impersonal,” Lindsey said. “It leads to the relationship ‘fizzling’ before it even starts.”
Above all, they recommend prayer: prayer for the relationship, for strength, courage, and wisdom, and especially prayer for the other person.
No matter if oceans divide you, God still connects you. Nurturing that connection through prayer can draw you closer together even from the other side of the world.
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