“I'm looking for the Ellie to my Carl.”
Thomas’ profile line, a reference to the 2009 Pixar animated movie “Up”, struck a chord with Alexis. Recently moving back home to Arkansas after a failed engagement, Alexis, 22 at the time, decided to give CatholicMatch another try, figuring that it might be the best way to meet a Catholic man in the Bible belt of Arkansas.
Thomas’ first message to Alexis stated that he was “Pope approved”, meaning that his previous marriage had been annulled. Thomas, 28, had spent two years on CatholicMatch in hopes of finding a Catholic wife. As a single father, he was looking for a “traditional Catholic bride.” In the final weeks of his online subscription, Thomas spotted Alexis’ profile and sent her a message.
“It was her profile picture,” Thomas admits. Drawn in by Alexis’ cute pixie haircut and her “happy and fun'' look, Thomas desired to meet Alexis. Working in the funeral business, Thomas sensed that Alexis’ personality could balance out the serious side in him well. Like the characters in the movie “Up,” where Carl is a “grumpy old man” and his wife Ellie is a cheerful soul, this dynamic might just work for Thomas and Alexis as well.
Going to Daily Mass for the first date made all the difference.
After a few weeks of messages back and forth, they decided to meet in person for their first date, in the fall of 2016. “I was working with my mother at the time, so he came and actually met my parents on our first date.” Alexis shares how Thomas showed up for their first date wearing a full suit with a bouquet of flowers in hand!
"I worked in the funeral business at the time," says Thomas, "so the full suit was kind of a normal thing for me." After attending daily Mass at a parish near Alexis’ workplace, they later went to a movie and dinner.
“I had never been to Mass for the start of a date and I really liked that he was such a gentleman,” remembers Alexis. Thomas found Alexis cute and funny, and felt it refreshing to finally be dating another Catholic. From then on, the two started talking daily and began seeing each other every week.
“One day we had almost a six hour phone conversation,” Alexis fondly remembers. Thomas muses how presently, now seven years into marriage and three children later, their phone conversations are down to about 30 seconds.
They started talking about marriage 3 weeks in!
Soon after those early dates, Alexis and Thomas set their sights on marriage. “I saw the holiness that she has and I was attracted to that, and I felt God was leading me in the right direction,” shares Thomas. For Alexis, it was the sense of security with Thomas and his unwavering faith. “I had dated other Catholics, but none like him.”
Knowing what they wanted early on, and also knowing what they needed to avoid, gave Alexis and Thomas the confidence to move forward quickly. Both coming from families of divorce, they knew the pitfalls of difficult relationships. “With all these divorces, we knew that marriage is a lot of work,” shares Thomas. “You’re going to have challenges, but you’ve got to just keep going.”
About five months into dating, Thomas proposed to Alexis. After some foiled plans for a romantic proposal, Thomas leaned over into his car glove compartment one day and pulled out the ring, asking, “Will you be my Ellie?” Alexis, feeling a bit skeptical of the method, remarked “is this a real proposal?” Thomas said yes, and Alexis said yes, and it was a done deal!
Setting their wedding date for a quick five months later, the two persevered through the hesitations of their family at the speed of their relationship. Undergoing a formative time of marriage prep through their parish deacon and his wife helped them prepare well for whatever God had in store.
“We’re both trying to get each other to heaven, that’s the goal.”
The couple entered into the Sacrament of Matrimony on July 8, 2017, during a 100 degree day in Arkansas. Filled with joy and expectation, Alexis and Thomas could not wait to start a family together. Yet, after struggling for two years with infertility, Thomas and Alexis decided to go on a pilgrimage to Mexico City and ask Our Lady of Guadalupe's help for a child.
Almost exactly nine months later, Thomas and Alexis were blessed with their first baby through adoption, a boy they named Kolbe. Just a year later, they welcomed Kolbe’s biological baby sister, whom they named Cecilia. Cecilia has Down Syndrome, and Thomas and Alexis both remark how each had wished during their own childhoods that they could one day raise a child with Down Syndrome. Their house soon filled with love and joy by welcoming these two babies into their family. Then over a year later, suprisingly, Alexis became pregnant! Little Thomas Becket was soon born to them in 2022.
Now seven years into marriage, their children together are 5, 4, and 2, and their hearts could not be more full. Guided by their faith and attributing much of their family’s holiness to St. Joseph’s intercession, they are grateful to God for everything. Their advice to others looking for their spouse? “Don’t settle” and “trust in God’s providence.”
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