Nate, from Vermont, was meeting interesting women on CatholicMatch—from near and far off places—but none of these women were love connections until he met Becca from Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia.
He had been on CatholicMatch for four years without finding someone.
Nate, 39, shares. “I talked to a few really nice people in a lot of far-off places; I got into conversations with women in the Dominican Republic, California, China, and in places closer like Boston and New York City. It was a unique opportunity to have these unsuccessful but interesting and friendly conversations.”
When he saw Becca’s profile, he liked everything about it. “I was attracted to the simplicity of her profile, her looks, and the faith she illustrated with Bible verses. I also like that she enjoyed travel.”
On November 6, 2014, Nate began talking to Becca, and they would continue to speak to one another every day for two years before meeting in person.
They were engaged before they met in person
Most people wait to meet in person before getting engaged because they want to make sure there’s chemistry. Not Nate. He proposed a month or two after he and Becca started chatting on CatholicMatch. They talked so much that it seemed to him "a foregone conclusion" that they would get married.
“I think we both had a comfortable certainty we were right for each other and had a future,” he explains.
He also admits that his proposal was perhaps the least dramatic proposal in history. “I asked her to marry me on Google Hangouts,” he laughs.
We are very different people, that's for sure
Because they come from drastically different backgrounds and their personalities are different, there was conflict sometimes. “We are both temperamental, so it has been an exercise in learning to get along,” he says.
On the other hand, “On a basic level, we get along quite easily, which I think gave me the confidence to continue with what was often a difficult relationship early on.”
Despite any cultural differences, faith and their prayer life helped them to bond.
First comes the love (and meeting in person)
After two years of talking, Nate was finally able to fly to Malaysia to meet Becca. “My first impression on meeting Becca at the airport is that she was cute, looked nice, and it was comfortable to be in her company.”
Nate and Becca spent every waking moment of the trip dining out, going to the movies, and shopping. "You really can’t tell if you’ll like someone until you meet them. Luckily our intuitions were correct," he says. "There was chemistry when we met in person."
Then comes the marriage
On December 2, 2017, Nate and Becca wed in a nice but simple ceremony in the side chapel of the Sacred Heart Cathedral in Kota Kinabalu. “We had 200 plus people on her side and two on mine."
Nate says it was understandably a hard sell to get his family and friends to fly 20 hours for a wedding in Asia, but his mother and brother were there to support him.
Becca’s family were welcoming towards Nate, so he didn’t feel out of place.
Since getting married, the couple has enjoyed making a life together in their new home in Malaysia.
And then comes...the culture shock
Nate was the one who chose to move, and he says there has been some culture shock. "I have high standards for things like city works and hygiene. Malaysia is a developing country, so although the roads and plumbing are not bad, it’s not as good as I’m used to."
There are also not as many freedoms in Malaysia compared to the US. "Malaysia is a theocratic Muslim country, which rubs me the wrong way. Thankfully the level of Shariah law is not as strict as other countries. In East Malaysia, where we are, there are quite a few Christians."
One thing Nate has learned to do is to refrain from being too critical of the drawbacks of Malaysia. "Becca sometimes takes my reaction as an insult to her country, but after eight months, we’ve learned to focus on just keeping a peaceful relationship."
It turned out to be a great career move
Relocating to Asia was a great career move for Nate. "I’m a fine artist and a graphic designer and Asia is a positive place for the arts."
Nate also works remotely designing books for a client, an art e-magazine with collaborators in the USA, and he's editing YouTube videos. For him, working remotely is just as easy as working from his home in rural Vermont but now he's finding great opportunities in Asia that he didn’t have in Vermont.
"My general advice to American artists is to consider relocating to Asia. The art scene is waking up here whereas in the USA and in Europe it’s going to sleep, " he says.
Overall, Nate and Becca have enjoyed their first year of marriage despite all of the changes. "I think our match is a prime example of two people, about as different as possible, who can still get along—based on some fundamental similarities—religion and interests."
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