It Was Like Finally Finding Someone Who Spoke My Language

Kelsey didn't want to just hook up.

At eighteen, Kelsey had already decided she wasn’t going to date in the “usual” way: she wasn’t looking for flings, only marriage, and she sensed the dangers of the typical relationship path. Moreover, she had high standards for a potential spouse. She was committed to finding a man who, like her, believed in all the Church’s teachings, and who agreed with her definition of love as not so much a feeling as a choice to put the needs of another before your own, regardless of feelings.

The trouble was, she didn’t really know how to go about finding him, and was ill-equipped to begin the search in any case. She was shy, thoughtful, and strongly committed to the truth, which are three qualities ill-suited for the modern American college scene.

After asking God for guidance, Kelsey started thinking seriously about online dating.

So she turned to God for guidance, praying that he would send her a husband in His own time.

Secretly, she figured “God’s time” would mean, “I’ll be in my thirties at least.”

Instead, she found herself thinking seriously about online dating.

The idea was so new to her that she didn’t take it seriously at first, but it wouldn’t go away. Deciding to surrender to the will of God, she registered for Catholic Match.

Unbeknownst to her, a young man named Davey, then twenty-one, signed up the very same day. Like Kelsey, Davey had prayed fervently for a wife and subsequently felt God calling him to online dating. Only, in his case, the call came in the form of seemingly endless ads for CatholicMatch (never doubt that advertising can be the tool of God).

They first made contact on October 10^th, 2014. To Kelsey’s delight, Davey’s message opened with, “I quite fancy you.”

“I’m a fan of language like that, and he really wooed me,” she said. She was also glad to find he agreed wholeheartedly with her definition of love.

Davey’s eloquence, charm, and intelligence continued to leave Kelsey smitten as their conversations went on.

For his part, Davey was pleased to find a girl who wanted a family, and who could be as eloquent as he himself. He appreciated “her devotion to truth and how easy she is to communicate with.” They had found in each other that most precious of qualities: intellectual compatibility.

They also both thought the other was really cute. That’s important too.

The only real snag was a little matter of twelve hundred miles. See, Kelsey lived in Phoenix, Arizona, while Davey lived in Missouri. But what others might have seen as an obstacle, they took as an opportunity.

“In a way, I’m very glad we started out long-distance,” Kelsey reflected. “It made it easier to get to know each other deeply enough to make our decision, without worrying about the physical temptations that come with new emotional intimacy.”

Four months of talking revealed how absolutely compatible they were.

Through video-chats, email, and phone calls, Kelsey and Davey found themselves talking every day, and often long into the night, never running out of things to say, yet finding the silences comfortable as well. As she later told him, “It was like, all my life everyone around me had been speaking French while I spoke English, and now here was another person speaking English!”

How compatible they were was unexpectedly revealed when the topic got around to children. One thing Kelsey had most wanted was a big family: six to twelve kids.

But, when first speaking to Davey, she figured he might balk if she told him that, so she decided to go with her bare minimum: four.

Davey answered that he wanted twelve.

By the end of the first month, they knew, and in January 2015, after four months of coming to know each other deeply without ever actually meeting, Davey flew out to Arizona for a visit.

As soon as they met in the airport, they rushed into each other’s arms and kissed. Then Davey dropped onto one knee and proposed with a hand-made ring.

Two years of marriage and two baby boys has been the most fun they've ever had.

To

day, after two years of marriage and with two baby boys—“Irish twins” born eleven months apart—they are finding marriage to be the most fun they’ve ever had.

“The biggest struggle has just been to grow in holiness together,” Kelsey said. “We’re so similar in just about every way, and that means we share most of the same flaws. So, sometimes we end up neglecting to socialize with other people or do our yard work in favor of spending time together.”

Having married young, they naturally sometimes get asked whether they would recommend it in light of the modern discouragement of the practice.

Do they recommend getting married young?

"It’s important to remember that we’re not made for this world, and we’re supposed to be living for God,” Kelsey said. “When you get married young, you don't get set in your ways and develop all these habits you'll have to compromise later. Instead, you get to grow together and decide on things together. That can make for a stronger marriage.”

Through their whirlwind romance and into their exciting new marriage, Kelsey and Davey have found something they had neither of them really experienced: someone they could rely on.

Someone who understood them and could talk to them, which for many shy people is a blessing beyond words. Though they don’t have much of a support system, they have come to rely more and more on each other, making their marriage all the stronger. As well as all the more enjoyable.

“Marriage is a lot like having a constant sleepover with your best friend, except it never gets old,” Kelsey declared happily. “That’s a great way to spend your youth!”