After four years of priestly discernment, Neil came to the conclusion that God might be calling him to married life. “I thought if God wanted me to be married, then I would not have to overly seek it out. My idea was I should just put myself out there, but not push it—to just let it happen or not happen,” explains Neil, 33, from Ville Platte, LA.
Neil was looking for a Catholic woman who wouldn’t play the hot and cold game with him. “I didn’t want to have to guess if she was interested or if she just wanted to be my friend. On CatholicMatch, most everyone was looking for something more than friendship, and I knew they were Catholic at least by the questions they answered.”
No strings date
When Emily came across Neil’s profile, she thought that they had a lot in common because both of them are very family oriented, like to play computer games, spend time at the shooting range, and watch movies. “I also thought it was so neat that he went to seminary, although when I read that at first, I did not believe him," laughs the 33-year-old from Alexandria, LA.
She messaged him, and a few weeks after meeting online, they met in person at the Olive Garden in Lafayette for lunch, on November 22nd, 2014.
“Neil made it clear before we met that he wasn't looking to go on a date. He was just out of a bad relationship, and he wasn't ready to jump into another one. He was just bored that day and wanted to get out of the house.”
Neil adds, “I wanted to simply go to lunch—with no expectations and no strings.”
Neil arrived at Olive Garden first, and although he didn't feel particularly nervous, he did feel on edge because there was so much unknown when you meet a stranger for lunch. “I am not one to just try new things or leave my comfort zone. I kept wondering if this person would be mental or unintelligent.”
During lunch, Emily was so quiet; Neil began to wonder if he was talking too much about his family and seminary. “I was very shy, but thank God, Neil was able to keep the conversation going. I thought he was so sweet, really funny, and he kept me interested,” she remembers.
Although Emily was not a big talker on the date, what she did say struck Neil as candid. “It was a good day; the ‘no strings or expectations’ was what really helped us, I think.”
He cut her pancakes
Emily’s candidness would continue through their dating relationship. “I would say throughout all our dates and our relationship, what is most memorable to me is just how honest she has always been. I never felt she was hiding anything, and that means more to me than any words can describe. That is not to say that she does not have things she may not have talked about, but rather that she is not trying to hide or be deceptive," shares Neil.
Besides being straightforward, Neil liked that Emily lets him help her. “One thing that stands out is Emily does not have good hand-eye coordination, and she has a hard time using a knife and fork to cut certain foods. I remember that first time we went to IHOP, and I noticed her being self-conscious about cutting her pancakes, and I cut them for her."
"I loved that I could take care of her or do something for her. It was a moment where I got to see her be vulnerable and to see if she would let me help her.”
Stormy proposal
A light patter of rain was coming down, and lightning was lighting up the night’s sky when Neil asked Emily to be his wife. “I think it was God's way of reminding us that our relationship will go through some storms,” Emily says.
Neil had the proposal all planned out. He arranged for their families to vacation during the same time, but after that, all of his plans fell apart.
“I was going to get my niece to film it at the restaurant, but I lost my nerve. I was going to do it on the beach, but too many people were around. We went to walk on the pier, and then a lightning storm began. I thought, ‘Now or never.' I told her that I could not promise money or happy feelings always, but all that I am is for her.”
On June 25th, 2016, Neil and Emily were married at St. Henry's Catholic Church in New Orleans, LA.
