They Met Because They Both Gave CatholicMatch a Second Chance

Living in the small town of Fowler, Indiana, 28-year-old Gerard was pretty limited in his dating options. There was only one Catholic parish and most young people had moved away seeking jobs. After experiencing a reconversion, Gerard knew that he wanted to marry a Catholic girl. He had tried CatholicMatch periodically and decided to purchase a subscription one more time.

Two and a half hours away, 25-year-old Karen lived in Fort Wayne, Indiana and was used to city living. She had tried a handful of other dating sites with limited success. Her mother and sister-in-law encouraged her to rejoin CatholicMatch and gifted her a subscription. Unlike other sites, where Karen found being a Catholic woman could be a deal breaker, she appreciated how CatholicMatch profiles are designed to help her see what the Faith means to a person.

“There is a different feel to CatholicMatch,” Karen shares. “For the most part, people are trying to get married, and respect the dignity of marriage.”

At times, it was an overwhelming process to receive many messages and decide how to respond. It was frustrating when Karen would discover that men rushed ahead to send messages without thoroughly reading her profile. “Sometimes they would get too personal too soon.” Karen’s faith meant a great deal to her but she wanted to get to know the person not just their spiritual life.

In January 2022, Gerard and Karen connected on CatholicMatch. It had been just two weeks since they had both renewed their subscriptions.

Similar to Karen, Gerard wanted to avoid extremes and get to know the person before delving too deep.

He was physically attracted to Karen’s profile and she seemed normal which appealed to him. After a string of disappointing dates, Gerard had doubts about putting more time into dating. Before his first Zoom date with Karen, Gerard thought, “Do I want to put in the work? I am just going to try to relax and have fun. I’ll just put on a sweater and drink a beer.”

Going into their first Zoom date, Karen recalls, “I went in with low expectations. I recently had bad experiences on other dating apps. I thought, ‘I am going to waste another hour of my life.’ We talked for two hours and I didn’t want it to be over.”

After their second Zoom date, Gerard suggested meeting in person and they settled on Indianapolis so they could meet roughly halfway. On Super Bowl Sunday, February 13, 2022, they met in person. They went to two different restaurants during their 9-hour date. The game day atmosphere was loud and the weather was cold, but they hardly noticed any of it as they were absorbed in discussing many subjects.

Gerard came to appreciate Karen’s selfless heart and how she listens to understand.

Karen loves to watch how Gerard is eager to delve deep into learning new things, uses his hands to create things, and is both a good listener and conversationalist.

The couple discovered that they have similar communication styles.

“I had been on dates where the man talked the whole time. And it was hard to get a word in. Gerard talks but he also listens.” By their third date, Gerard was ready to move forward with their relationship. After 6 weeks, they were officially dating. Their greatest challenge was distance but they made time to see each other on weekends.

“We learned how to communicate effectively,” Gerard shares. Karen adds, “It was special getting to know each other in the context of family and friends.”

As their relationship progressed, both knew that it was heading in the direction of marriage.

Gerard suggested they each spend a week gathering questions about parenting, finances, expectations, and strategies for arguing, and how they envisioned nurturing their relationship to make sure they were on the same page with each other.

Karen recalls, “We sat down at a restaurant and talked for almost four hours about these questions. We left the conversation feeling more secure in our relationship and more excited about our future.”

The couple dated from February to July 2022 before they talked about getting engaged, and as Christmas approached, Karen was getting excitedly impatient for a proposal. “Karen had it in her mind that the proposal wouldn’t happen until I could find a job in her city in the new year. I didn’t correct her,” Gerard recalls.

He asked Karen to help him plan all the activities that she would include in a perfect Christmas-time date.

On December 17, they dressed up for a fancy dinner and enjoyed wintertime festivities. Returning to her parent’s home, they exchanged Christmas gifts.

“I made something for you,” Gerard told Karen as he handed her a handmade box that looked curiously like a ring box. “He made this for me so I have to love what is inside,” Karen told herself, still convinced in her mind it wasn’t a ring.

To her surprise, Karen opened the box to find an engagement ring. At Gerard’s unexpected proposal, Karen began sobbing with joy and accidentally tossed the box and ring onto the floor in her excitement. United in their love, they both remember thinking, “This is the happiest moment of my life.”

The couple wanted to maximize their time together so the plan was for Gerard to look for a job in Fort Wayne. The day after their engagement, they had dinner with friends from church they planned to have as their sponsor couple. This conversation led to Gerard getting connected with a job. He moved up to Fort Wayne on Superbowl Sunday, a year after their first date, and the couple was able to finish wedding planning together.

At St. John the Baptist Church, they were married on August 19, 2023 by one of the seven priests in attendance.

Karen had come to know many priests after being involved in youth ministry as a teen and working in a parish as an adult. “It was a perfect Mass. We chose John 6, the Bread of Life Discourse, as the Gospel because the Eucharist is the source and summit of Christian life and marriage,” Karen shares.

On their wedding day, they chose to drive alone from the church to photos to the reception so they could have time with just each other. “It is intense to have everyone you love and care about in one room,” Karen recalls.

The newlyweds are enjoying married life.

“We’re learning how to adapt schedules, routines, quirks, navigate having two dogs, communicate expectations, and recognize we’re on the same team and we have each other’s backs.”