Daddy, Please Be My Hero

Building father-daughter relationships

Today it seems that men are deemed radically unnecessary: women enjoy high paying careers, a “Sex and the City” lifestyle, babies through sperm donors, and spending time with their girlfriends.

Men are viewed as idiots (Homer Simpson) or eye candy (Ryan Gosling).

Many good men have been deceived by the culture that they are ineffective, unnecessary, and even offensive to women if they act masculine and authoritative.

But this is a lie. Men are radically necessary.  Men have a tremendous influence,  and can guide the women around them, particularly as fathers.

Girls need their fathers’ courage, self-confidence, assertiveness, and empathy.

Girls need dads to be heroes. It is not that hard to be a hero to a young girl, because her world revolves around her dad and everything he does is amazing to her. Just a hug, a supportive comment, a smile can do the trick.

The importance of fathers

Teen pregnancy, depression, sexually transmitted diseases, eating disorders, school failure, drug and alcohol abuse may all be preventable with a strong father–daughter relationship.

Dr. Meg Meeker, pediatrician and author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters puts forth a compelling argument for the need for fathers to step up. She writes: “After more than twenty years of listening to daughters—and doling out antibiotics, anti-depressants, and stimulants to girls who have gone without a father’s love—I know just how important fathers are.”

The victim-princess

Dr. Meeker writes that there are two types of women: princesses and pioneers. A princess believes that everyone else is there to serve her and that she deserves better in life. Princesses expect everything and everyone to be perfect. She tends to be unhappy, because nothing in life measures up.

Pioneers know that they have to work hard in order to take charge of their own life and that this will bring them happiness. Pioneers are pragmatic and strive to solve their own problems. They are humble and courageous. They do not expect others to create or cause their own happiness.

Dads can help their daughters become self-reliant, confident and capable of true happiness. Every doting father wants his daughter to be his “little princess,” but Meeker advises dads to be careful not to over-indulge her. Meeker writes, “Ask her this simple question: ‘So what can you do about it?’ Don’t let your daughter grow up to be a victim of life.”

Faith is critical

Studies also show many benefits from a young girl’s belief in God. Religious adolescents are more likely to abstain from sex before marriage and are less likely to engage in substance abuse. Both premarital sex and drug use increase the likelihood of future depression—especially for adolescent girls.

Meeker lists even more benefits to religious participation:it gives girls psychological maturity, helps them set boundaries and stay out of trouble, helps them with self-esteem, increases the likelihood of good grades, and protects them from bad influences.

Dads can show their daughters the importance of faith by being men of prayer and integrity themselves.

Be a hero

It is not really that hard to be a hero.  A hero is warm and affectionate. He teaches his daughter right and wrong and is a strong leader. A hero believes in his daughter, supports her when she makes mistakes, and loves her unconditionally. A hero is a man of integrity, courage, and faith.

A friend of ours is the father of two teenaged girls. When young men attempt to call his daughters or to take them out on dates, he demands that they speak first with him on the phone and then he meets every potential date in person. He makes sure they know that he will personally break their necks if they disrespect his daughter.

His daughters may roll their eyes, but you can see they are proud of their dad and even more proud of the fact that he is willing to protect and defend them. Our friend is a hero to his daughters.

“Be the man you want your daughter to marry,” says Meeker.

Every man is compared to our father: if we have a good relationship with our dad, we will choose boyfriends who treat us well.