6 New Year’s Resolutions for Singles

It’s another new year! Sometimes, it feels as if life just passes us by without much to show for. This can even hold true in the realm of dating and relationships while waiting for someone special to enter into our lives. I would like to propose six resolutions for the new year that offer hope as well as practical advice. Choose from one or more of these resolutions and try to implement them throughout the new year.

Resolution #1: Pray for your future spouse.

If you don’t already, pray for your future relationships—daily! Ask God to prepare you both and to bring you together. Realize that God is the source and author of all love, joy, and fulfillment. The more relationships revolve around Him, the happier they will be! And, don’t just pray to find a future spouse, pray that they may be open to God working in his or her life and become the person God made them to be.

Resolution #2: Keep Hope Alive!

Make a resolution not to give into fear or despair, assuming the worst will happen. “I haven’t found anyone yet, therefore, I never will.” This sort of attitude only brings us down. Commit to a more positive attitude of hope and trust.

Resolution #3: Become the Best Version of Yourself.

Make a commitment to better yourself in some way this upcoming year. In doing so, you will increase your chances of having better relationships and a happier marriage. Sometimes, our refusal to work on ourselves keeps us from finding a relationship—or from keeping one. An extreme fear of intimacy, major control issues, or a lonely neediness can keep us from finding (or keeping) true love. Failure to control your anger, your temper, or your base lustful passions; being too nit-picky, co-dependent, or any host of other problems will keep you from being your best self and can severely injure your relationships. These things need to be dealt with. So, pick one and work on it throughout the year. And, don’t forget it by March. Have patience with yourself. Take another look next year and you’ll be on your way to being a more healthy version of you and a better lover.

Resolution #4: Don’t Compromise Because of Fear or Loneliness.

Choose to date only healthy people this year or none at all! Choose those people who are capable of loving you as you deserve, and don’t stay in a relationship you know isn’t right. This only keeps you from the person you are supposed to be with. Make a commitment to hold yourself to a high standard, and don’t settle. Kierkegaard opens his book Philosophical Fragments with the quote, “Better well hanged, than ill-wed.” Dating someone out of loneliness or because you’re fearful that you will never find someone is always a recipe for disaster. What can you do while you’re waiting for that person? See #5.

Resolution #5: Foster Good Relationships

Sometimes it’s lonely and frustrating to wait for a romantic relationship to enter into the picture. While you are waiting though, in addition to Resolution #3, I would recommend fostering good family and friend relationships. After all, dating relationships come and go, but your friends and family are always there for you, even when you get married. So, keep those relationships and don’t forget them. Don’t be the desperate person who finds someone and immediately makes the other person their whole life forsaking friends and family. Rather, deepen and make lasting friendships which can last throughout your life. Cultivate good hobbies that will keep you busy, keep you around other people, and keep your spirits high. You can take these hobbies into future relationships. Ballroom dancing anyone?

Resolution #6: Learn From the Past.

If you have found yourself single again in the aftermath of a broken relationship, make it your goal to reflect on your last relationship. What was good? What wasn’t good? What lessons can you learn? Especially if the relationship was unhealthy, abusive, or if you were in a relationship you knew wasn’t right, take a good deal of time for yourself to consider what mistakes you made and how you can learn from that for the future. If you seem to continually date the same type of people, and it always blows up in your face and goes horribly wrong, there may be a pattern there that you need to consider and pray about. In short, don’t repeat the past, learn from it!

Let’s make a choice to not only better ourselves in life and to work on those aspects that need our attention, but let us also commit to preparing for future relationships and making them the best they can be. Happy New Year!