Family life has a way of changing our definition of romance.
I will never forget the Valentine’s Day a few years ago when our septic tank was backing up and an ice storm raged outside. I called our septic guy for an emergency visit, but my husband Dan worried that the truck might not be able to make it down our long, narrow, snow-walled, ice-covered driveway.
He called a friend with a plow, and he came to scrape some of the ice and spread sand just minutes before the septic man arrived. I held my breath as the giant truck backed into the driveway. The boys shoveled a path through the piles of snow and chipped away at the ice, and — Halleluia! — the septic man reached the septic tank with the very-much-needed septic hose.
Thirty minutes later, as he drove out of the driveway, I felt downright triumphant. “It sure will be nice to flush the toilet again!” I hugged and kissed my husband.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” he laughed as he hugged me back.
Our definition of “romance” may have changed a bit over 21 years of marriage, but our need to nurture our relationship in loving ways remains the same. All couples, no matter how long they’ve been married or how many septic crises they have survived, can benefit from doing small things to nurture “romance” on Valentine’s Day, or any day of the year. Romance can be as simple as finding creative ways to spend uninterrupted time together. Dinner and movie in can be fun, but you and your spouse might enjoy finding new ways to focus on each other this Valentine’s Day. Here are five ideas to get you started.
Write love notes
Love notes are a fun, romantic, and often a natural part of romance in its early stages, but when was the last time you wrote one to your spouse? Not a text— a NOTE. On PAPER. It’s time you did! This doesn’t have to be awkward or time-intensive. Make it a game. When you have some time together, gather up some paper and pens, and then, side by side, write notes to each other by answering prompts like “Describe one of your favorite memories from when you were dating” or “When did you know he/she was ‘the one’?” Take turns reading them, and then watch Cupid’s arrows fly!
Make a fancy recipe
Dinner out is nice, but cooking together can be both romantic and fun— with delicious results to boot. Pick a recipe you both enjoy or a new one to try, buy the ingredients, and then split up tasks such as chopping and sauteeing. If you have small children, making sure they are in someone else’s care (or at least safely occupied in another room) will help you relax and enjoy the “work” of making dinner together. Pour a couple glasses of wine for the cooks as you work, and voila! Romance! Bon apetit!
Go back in time
Is there a movie that has romantic significance for the two of you? Maybe a comedy you watched on your first date or a romance you both enjoyed early in your relationship? Rent it and watch it for an in-home date! You might find yourself laughing at how much time has changed since then, or surprised by your immature taste in movies years ago. Or think of a restaurant or other location with romantic significance for the two of you. The street corner where he proposed? The stadium where you first kissed? Whatever it is, find a creative way to revisit that place for Valentine’s Day this year. Even if you can’t visit a spot physically, if you think creatively, there may be small details you can re-create in your current location. Just brainstorming these ideas will remind you both of a simpler time in your relationship and inspire romance.
Take on a challenge
Remember how nervous and excited new love made you feel? Re-create some of that thrill and experience it together by trying something new that pulls you just a little bit out of your comfort zone. You could ride a roller coaster, enter a dance contest, or try amateur night or karaoke at a local bar for the first time. It doesn’t matter what it is. The important part is trying something new and exciting as a couple. Think of some new challenge that is just a little bit scary, and then take it on — together!
Take in natural beauty
Finding romantic inspiration from the natural world can be as simple as stepping outside your front door. Breathe in the beauty of a sunrise or sunset, hike along a snowy trail, or go somewhere remote to take in the stunning display of the night sky. Bonus points if you brush up on your astronomy and can name a few constellations! And don’t forget that museums, zoos, and aquariums aren’t just for kids. There are lots of new things we can all learn and be inspired by, no matter what our age. Tour a nearby museum or make a date at the symphony, or walk hand in hand through the adorable penguin exhibit at the aquarium. Learn something new and enjoy the beauty and romance of God’s creation together.
Every couple needs romance. No matter how long we have been married, every couple needs the kind of spark that comes from spending time focused on one another and nurturing their relationship. It’s not all hearts and flowers, but it doesn’t have to be all septic trucks either. Romance can come in surprising ways. Keep your mind and your heart open this year, and let romance abound!
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