Maureen jokes, “2013 is the year that I nearly died; 2014 is the year I got well; and 2015 is the year that I hit the jackpot—Marty.”
Maureen, 37, hadn’t dated much. In hindsight, she can see why the Lord didn't bring anyone into her life earlier. “I wouldn’t have wanted a husband and children to go through what happened to me.”
In 2013, she was diagnosed with a serious form of an
autoimmune disease called Wegener's granulomatosis.
“I ended up in the hospital with two blood clots in my head, a huge mass on my brain, and tumors in my lungs. At first, doctors thought I had cancer and that I wouldn’t live long. It was really a blessing that it was an autoimmune disease rather than cancer,” says the Boulder, CO resident.
Through a variety of medications, doctors were able to treat the disease, and by 2014 it was in remission. Maureen felt healthier than ever, and she was ready for Mr. Right to enter the picture.
He Didn’t Knock Her Socks Off
When Marty, 42, from Denver, messaged Maureen, she was already familiar with his profile. She liked what she saw, except that Marty didn’t have a four-year degree—he painted cars for a living. Maureen, a chiropractor, had always pictured herself marrying another professional. Even so, she answered Marty’s message. “I thought, ‘I need to be open to what God is trying to do with this.’”
In February of 2015, they started emailing and talking on the phone. In March, they went on their first date. Maureen was overwhelmed from the start of the date because Marty showed up with a dozen long-stemmed red roses.
“For me, first dates are inherently awkward. It didn’t help that neither of us had a lot of dating experience. Because I hadn’t dated much, I was anxious and nervous about what a more serious
relationship would be. I had this unrealistic expectation that I would have to know right away if I wanted to marry this guy.”
Reading her non-verbals during the date, Marty was pretty sure that Maureen didn’t like him. Even so, he found her attractive and he liked her sense of humor.
Maureen laughs, “I am not sure that I did like Marty on our first date because I didn’t have the fireworks and butterflies right out of the gate, but I thought it was important to give him a chance.” She was also flattered that Marty seemed interested.
Good Advice from Dad
The next day, Marty texted Maureen asking her, “Hey, do you want to go have dinner tonight?”
She freaked out.
“I was like, ‘I just need some space,’” Maureen remembers.
Her dad tried to talk some sense into her. “He told me, ‘Honey, you are reading too much into it; it’s not a marriage proposal. You are both adults, and he likes you. It’s the weekend. You have to eat. It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.”
She didn’t heed her dad’s advice; she told Marty that she needed some space.
Marty Was Patient
Maureen’s rejection didn’t deter Marty. “Thankfully, he was very patient with me. He didn’t push me and he gave me the time I needed,” she recalls.
It took her awhile to realize that you have to take risks in a relationship. “You don’t need to know right away if you want to marry him. It’s okay to continue a relationship as long as you see potential. The problem was I had this Hallmark movie in my mind. That’s where I got all of my ideas about what love and relationships were about.”
They continued to go out, but Maureen still struggled with fears. “Here was a man who had many of the qualities that I was looking for, and he was interested in me, but I wasn’t sure how to receive that. I was looking for the red flags, so I could push him away. My parents really encouraged me to be open and to give him a chance.”
Marty’s patience would hold true throughout their dating relationship. “I was so afraid of the physical aspects of relationships: hugging, holding hands, or kissing. I was terrified of that because I hadn’t really shared that with anyone before. He was decent with me, and he didn’t push me. That was what really won my heart over.”
Maureen could see that Marty was a good man and that he was genuine.
Family Affirmation
In May, Maureen’s parents met Marty, and they approved of him. She was also able to introduce him to her nearly 91-year-old grandfather. “Grandpa got to meet him the weekend before he died. I will always treasure that. I wish he were here to see me walk down the aisle. Grandpa wouldn’t necessarily say something bad about someone if he didn’t like him; he just wouldn’t say anything. I asked him ‘What do you think of Marty,
Grandpa?’ He literally gave him the thumbs up and he told my parents later how good of a man that he thought Marty was. He could tell that Marty loved me.”
Her family’s approval made it easier for her to take the next step. In July, she told Marty that she was ready. Marty had been patiently waiting for the word from Maureen.
On August 16th, he proposed. They will be joined in Holy Matrimony on May 21, 2016, at St. Vincent de Paul's in Denver.
Since meeting and falling in love with Marty, Maureen has learned, “There’s a lot more to the measure of a person than what they do for a living or how many years of education they have.”
