What Adam and Eve Taught Me About Love

All of us wonder about love. What does it have to say about our past, right now, and our future? How is it speaking to us? Well God answers all those questions in His Word, Jesus Christ; and because of Him, the transmission of His written Word in Scripture has a lot to say about love as well.

One of the best things Scripture leaves us, is examples that teach us something about love. These examples of heavenly matches can not only teach us a lot about love, but also inspire us and keep us from losing hope. So let us look at the original Catholic Match made in heaven and see what they have to offer for lessons in love.

Blueprint for Love

Adam and Eve are the blueprint for love as they, at least before the Fall, teach us what human love should look like. This is why St. John Paul II told us to reflect on their original experiences. We see that love originally led to happiness. It did not lead to misery, but joy; not selfishness but selflessness, not secrecy, but transparency and nakedness without shame (Genesis 2:25).

This first experience of love among man and woman is what John Paul II in his Theology of the Body calls, "original solitude." In this, man realized that he is unique before God. He is unlike anything in the created order (see Genesis 2:20) and thus has a unique dignity. So we see that love should always uphold our individuality, not degrade nor destroy it.

We Are Made For Love

This experience led to another experience, "original unity." In this experience, man realized since he was unique, he must also be a gift. This is why Scripture tells us, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him” (Genesis 2:18). Remember, before this everything that God made was good and this was the first thing Scripture tells us is not good, for man to be alone or isolated. Why? Because we know we are made for love and love happens between persons.

In the beginning, man had a three-fold unity:

1. A unity of body and soul

2. The unity of man and woman in humanity

3. A unity between God and man

From this experience we see that love should affirm this triple unity. It should penetrate not just our bodies, but also our souls (so many people look to be fulfilled just through a “physical relationship” or emotional flattery, but by themselves, both fall short of the love we are made for).

It should unite us as persons, and then finally it should deepen our relationship with God because He is love (see 1 John 4:8). Therefore, true love deepens the love of self, neighbor, and God; not to the detriment of one for the other, but for their unity which brings about the good of the person.

What Real Love Is

So, this brings us to the last experience which is "original nakedness." Adam and Eve were able to be themselves and did not have to hide anything from each other. They teach us love is not meant to conceal, but reveal. It is not meant to be secretive, but meant to be proclaimed from the rooftops. So if we feel we have to hide something from someone or keep a relationship in the dark (“on the down-low”); it may not be a relationship worth pursuing.

Thus, if we knew we were always going to be loved and never used (original nakedness); we would freely give of ourselves and that gift would always lead to a deeper union (original unity); and this would always affirm us as a person (original solitude). This is the formula for love and thus happiness. This is the "original happiness" all relationships existed within and were meant to dwell, but our view was thwarted due to sin.

For our purposes though, we do not want to focus on the falsification of love, but on the lessons it can teach us. So we will bring out two more lessons that Adam and Eve can teach us about love.

Equality and Sacrifice 

Adam and Eve teach us the lessons of equality and sacrifice. Eve was taken from the rib of Adam. In ancient times, the rib represented the entire person, so by “giving a rib,” Scripture tells us man must give himself for the woman he loves. Woman will be “built up” by man laying down his life for her and in return, she will complete/help man become who God made him to be. Thus, through equality and sacrifice, man and woman complete and build up each other.

Love Fulfills 

This brings us to the first couple’s final lesson; love involves body language. In the beginning, Adam could look at Eve’s body and see she was made to receive something. Eve would look at Adam’s body and see he was meant to give something. That “something” was love, but not just any love: God’s love. God's love was the only love that existed in the beginning and the only love worthy of a person (both human and divine).

That is why we see the giving and receiving of God’s love (both the masculine and feminine taken as one) as the thing that makes humanity or people normal. Hence, St. John Paul II calls this the "personalistic norm." Love is meant to make us normal, fulfill our nature, which is why we all seek it.

So in conclusion, by looking at the first Catholic match, we see that Adam and Eve have a lot to teach us about love. They teach us that love (and even our vocation) is meant to uphold our personhood and dignity, should confirm the triple unity we were all made for in love of self, neighbor, and God, as well as it should help us to live as ourselves.

They also teach us that love is sacrificial and the more both people in a relationship sacrifice for the other, the more both will be built up. Finally, we learn that we should give and receive God’s love in our relationships and this helps keep us normal or level because we are fulfilling our nature.

Let us listen to the Word about love from Adam and Eve and by doing so, find the original happiness that God made for each of us.