Jairo, from Northern Virginia, had been dating off and on for a number of years on CatholicMatch, and had even tried to make long-distance relationships work, but so far, nothing had worked out. So, he took a break, but re-joined the site in late 2016.
“I was raised Catholic, and I knew I wanted to marry at least a Christian, but ideally a Catholic,” shares Jairo. “I went to church, and I would see families with their little ones. I wanted that as well, it was very important to me.”
Karen, on the other hand, had NO intention of giving CatholicMatch a try!
“My mom came to visit me in DC, saw the CatholicMatch ad in the bulletin at Holy Trinity, and just kept pushing me to make a profile,” says Karen. “I got very very frustrated with her! But she kept pushing and pushing. So, I prayed a lot about it, and just thought, "What the heck!”
She’d used Match and other secular sites before; she’d previously lived in New York and met some interesting people, but “Frankly, I didn’t think I’d find someone who shares my values,” says Karen.
The first - and only! - man she messaged was Jairo!
She reached out to him in December 2016, after seeing his great smile, photos with his baby cousin, and noting that he believed in all the sacraments and went to church regularly.
He was a little surprised she reached out given their 10-year age difference, “but I saw that she lived about 15 minutes away, and her message was really sincere and heartfelt,” remembers Jairo. “She had a lot of personality, I could tell. It made me want to connect with her. Her red hair and cute smile certainly helped!”
"Jairo’s profile mentioned he had done competitive ballroom dancing,” says Karen. “I had tried it in the past, and definitely wasn’t a pro. But in my message, I said, ‘That’s so cool! Maybe we could go dancing together!’”
He agreed, but when the time came to actually go dancing, Karen was having second thoughts about her idea!
“I was so incredibly nervous, I was shaking!!” she recalls. Jairo did his best to reassure her during the lesson, saying, “We’re not in a competition, it’s just for fun!”
They followed up the lesson with dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and good conversation.
But Karen’s nerves were not calmed, since she noticed Jairo kept looking at his phone. She didn’t realize his good intentions for keeping an eye on the time.
“I didn’t want to keep us out too late, she had a flight to Philadelphia in the morning,” recalls Jairo.
“I was thinking, ‘oh no, this isn’t good!’” laughs Karen. “I wanted a redo! So I asked ‘Do I get to see you again?’ Which isn’t like me, I’m pretty introverted normally!”
Jairo was surprised at her boldness, “And I said yes, absolutely!” he remembers.
What were the couple’s first impressions of each other?
“Right off the bat I could tell she was really sweet, really sincere, and just had a lot of energy about her!” smiles Jairo. “She’s very well read, and cultured. I was really drawn to that. I’m an engineer by trade, but drawn to the arts - like movies, music, and history, so we connected on that level.”
“He was my first and only date off CatholicMatch!” says Karen. “I feel blessed that God put us together, we were on the same page in terms of values, and complement each other - our different personalities balance each other out. He’s definitely an engineer, while I’m more artistic.”
Another fun memory the couple shares is that “Five years ago, we went to Universal Orlando,” Jairo shares. “And we’re going again soon for our five-year anniversary! That was a fun trip, since she’s a huge Harry Potter fan, and I’m a super DC and Marvel fan! We both got to indulge each other’s passions for that!”
Like most couples, Karen and Jairo had challenges of their own.
For him, “The biggest thing was taking that next step,” shares Jairo. “I take it [marriage] very seriously, it’s a big step, and I only wanted to do it one time! I never wanted a divorce, so I needed to be absolutely sure it was the right decision.”
“I think it’s important to say that we took a break,” shares Karen. “We’d been together a couple of years, and decided with work pressure and our families hesitant about us moving forward, that it was too soon to make that big of a decision.”
So the couple split up. “With no intention of getting back together,” recalls Karen. “It was hard and hurtful, but I never stopped loving him.”
After two years apart, Jairo tried to get in touch, and Karen said no twice.
The third time she got a phone call, and got to talk to the family. “They’d been praying that even if we don’t get back together we’d at least have forgiveness and closure,” Karen remembers.
“We had a difficult video chat together, and both mentioned our hesitations but why we still wanted to move forward after two years apart,” says Karen.
“After that call, I was so excited that I immediately drove in my sweats and messy bun to go see him!” smiles Karen. “ I gave him a hug and said, ‘This is where we’re meant to be.’”
Jairo recalls, “I missed her with every part of my being. I knew I had to give it another shot. I was willing to accept a no, but I knew she was the one. I had a yearning for her that I recognized was from the Holy Spirit, and that’s why I kept coming back to her.”
Karen shares, “With God’s timing to get back together, I can't imagine my life with anyone else! We came back better able to communicate what we each needed, and ready to be more vulnerable.
After their big reunion, things moved fast!
“We decided a week and a half after getting back together, that we wanted to build a life together,” says Karen. “So we started planning, telling close family and friends, and started marriage prep classes. I called it our coupling 2.0!”
Jairo officially proposed on Good Friday, April 21st 2021, surprising her with the ring he’d gotten her before their split, and saved for her the last four years.
“We went to the waterfront area of DC, and it was supposed to be cherry blossom weather, but everything froze!” remembers Karen. “It was super cold! So what was supposed to be spring, cherry-blossom photos were winter coat photos!”
After an hour of taking super cold pictures, “I was done!” says Karen. “I wanted hot coffee and to warm up.”
But he said, “Let’s just do one more picture.”
Then, right over the water, he pulled out the ring. “It had been four years since I bought it, before we split up,” Jairo recalls. “I held onto it for her. The blue topaz means hope.”
How perfect!
They announced to everyone Easter Sunday 2021, and dove into pre-cana and wedding planning. “They were great sessions, we delved into so much that we never thought of before,” says Karen. “How we both had different communication and conflict resolution styles, and figured out how to work together and bring out the best in one another.”
The big day arrived on April 30th, 2022.
“It was a perfect day, 70 and sunny in Virginia,” remembers Jairo. “An absolutely beautiful Mass, with our friends and family from both sides.
“We did a lot of DIY for the wedding, which was art-deco themed,” recalls Karen. “I designed all the stationary, did all the bouquets, bows, and centerpieces with silk flowers, and worked with friends to put it together. It was a labor of love. I wanted it to be special but not lose the farm on the budget! I wouldn’t do anything any differently. It was stressful but it was exciting!”
They honeymooned in Jamaica for a couple of days after the wedding, and since they both love to travel, they’ve done several other trips since then.
And what has married life brought the lovebirds?
Jairo says, “I thank God every day that she gave me another shot. Every morning I wake up so happy that she’s next to me, and every night I come home from work so happy she’s there.”
Karen, currently working as a software trainer in the DC area, says, “I enjoy it! It feels so right. It’s not easy every day, but we show up for each other every day. It’s worth it. I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.”
What’s the couple’s advice for other Catholic daters out there?
Karen says, “Follow your conscience, follow the Holy Spirit, and ask to be led. So many people try to check all the boxes and do everything they think they “should” be doing. It comes down to the fact that you’re developing a relationship with yourselves and God. It may not be how other people do it, but we have a unique relationship based in Christ. Constantly show up and be your best, that will lead to the best connection and relationships with meaning. God’s plan is the best!”
Jairo says, “Communication is key. That was one of our hurdles. Communicate what you’re thinking AND feeling. Be honest with each other, and always ask for God and the Holy Spirit's guidance.”
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