On August 6th, 2017—the Feast of the Transfiguration—if you happened to walk into the Immaculate Conception Church, in Elkton, MD, for the 10:15 a.m. Sunday Mass, you would have had a pleasant surprise. During the Mass, Denise and Carl said their marriage vows.
“As a flutist, I have played for many weddings, and over the years. As I've watched many different styles of weddings, I had concluded that if I ever got married again, I would want to do it in the context of Sunday Mass with my church family,” Denise says.
Since this was a second marriage for both Denise, 52 and Carl, 53, they didn’t want a wedding with “a lot of hoopla.”
“Carl and I both had more traditional weddings the first time around," explains the couple, whose prior marriages were annulled. "This time we wanted the focus to be on the solemnity of the occasion and not get caught up in all the commercial trappings that typically accompany these occasions. We planned and executed the entire wedding ourselves, made all decisions as a couple, and truly enjoyed the whole process."
Cost-efficient DIY wedding
With nine kids between them, there wasn't a lot of room in their budget, so Denise and Carl focused on keeping the wedding as simple and economical as possible. They created their invitations on Vista Print, and Denise designed
matching stamps on Zazzle. They got a great deal on bridesmaid’s dresses, which were on clearance for $30 each, and the groomsmen’s ties were purchased on sale with the help of "Kohl's cash.” Denise picked out a simple cream-colored cocktail dress and shoes for a $170. They also chose to limit flowers to cut costs.
The couple’s economic creativity didn’t stop there; they enlisted the K of C’s help for the reception and Denise made the wedding cake.
“The Knights of Columbus were kind enough to switch coffee and donut Sunday to the day of our wedding, and put up a tent outside the church so we could provide some festive refreshments for everyone in attendance,” she says. “The reception was a luncheon buffet for 70 guests at La Casa Pasta, one of our favorite restaurants. I made a small rum cake for our wedding cake, and we had a dessert buffet for guests instead of the traditional wedding cake.”
Amethyst trumps diamond...
Denise and Carl wanted their rings to be matching, so they splurged on their wedding rings. “Coordinating rings aren't the fashion these days, so we had to pay a little extra to find a wedding band for Carl that matched mine.”
But instead of a traditional diamond, Denise’s ring has an amethyst as the center stone. “Amethyst is Carl's birthstone, and purple is my favorite color. This was a cost-effective choice as well since amethysts are not nearly as expensive as diamonds!” she explains.
But how did they meet?
Denise had tried online dating with little luck, but when she found out that her choir director met her husband on CatholicMatch, she thought it was worth it to give online dating a second shot.
Carl had also tried online dating sites, but he wasn’t finding the kind of woman he wanted. “I realized that I was only going to be truly happy with someone from one of the apostolic traditions (Catholicism or Orthodoxy),” he says.
They’d both been members for nine months when Carl sent a message to Denise. “His initial note got my attention because he wrote the same kind of note that I would write to someone. It peaked my interest and his intelligence shone through. I knew immediately that he was unlike other guys I had met.”
Carl chose to message Denise because “I knew she was intelligent because she could articulate her responses. She also had a large family, and her children's age range was similar to that of my own children,” he says. “It was also clear from her profile that she took her faith seriously, and it influenced her life. I knew from her pictures that she was in my age bracket and attractive—a winning combination all around.”
I saw him and I knew
After a flurry of long messages and a few three-hour phone calls, the couple met at a restaurant near Carl's home. “I was already very interested in Carl from our notes. Hearing his voice on the phone heightened my interest, and when I walked into the restaurant and saw him across the entranceway, I heard the word 'Home' in my heart. I had found the one whom my soul loves,” she remembers fondly. “Carl gave me a bouquet of roses, and we had dinner. I was very comfortable with him and had an enjoyable time.’
Carl adds, “We kissed goodnight, and that kiss provided the spark for a second date.”
By the end of the second date, Carl knew he had found the one for him.
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