"I Want You To Be Alone Forever!"

"In 2017, I lost my wife of 14 years to cancer. Alone with four kids, I felt committed to focusing on them and trusting in the Lord's mercy and grace. After a year and much prayer, I decided to venture out into the world of dating. My late wife had told me previously if anything happened to either one of us that we should each continue living our lives and most certainly find someone else should the Lord bring someone into our lives," shares Chris from San Antonio.

Chris's close friend, who had also lost his wife to cancer, had met and married someone on CatholicMatch. He encouraged Chris, 43, to give the site a shot. 

"Having never tried a dating app, I felt extremely apprehensive. But after a ton of pressure from him and some other close friends, I took the dive and signed up," he recalls. "I was so uncomfortable that I didn't even want to put a picture."

Chris figured he'd check the box of online dating to say he tried. The single father didn't expect much to happen because he assumed that no one in their right mind would be interested in a widower with four young kids. However, after a couple of weeks of gaining the courage to respond to people who reached out to him, he met a woman named Maria. 

She broke her own rule!

Maria, 41, had a hard and fast rule never to look at a profile without a good profile photo. She wanted at least one photo to ensure she had some general attraction, but Chris came up as someone who had looked at her profile.

"I broke my rule for the very first time. I don't know why," Maria says.

She clicked on Chris's profile, and she discovered that he did have a picture that caught her attention further down on his page.

"He had the kindest eyes I've seen," she remembers. "In his profile, he talked about his kids right off that bat, and I loved that. I liked that he was transparent," says Maria, who has one daughter from a previous annulled marriage.

The first message was a dud!

In July 2028, Maria reached out to Chris. She wrote, "Hi Chris, how are you?" Chris responded days later by saying, "Hi Maria, I am great! How are you?"

Maria felt excited to get a response from Chris, but she didn't know if anything would get off the ground considering the closed answer Chris gave her.

Chris laughs, "I didn't know how to do this stuff. That's why I opened her profile but didn't message her. When I responded to Maria's message, I was super nervous."

Despite Maria's initial concern, their conversation did get off the ground because she gave him a slew of questions. "She made it very easy for me. I didn't have to start any conversations," Chris explains. "She asked me some great questions about my life and my family. She asked me to describe each of my kids with one word."

A romantic routine...

Chris also sent Maria a list of questions, and they got into a routine where he would message her at 5:30 am before his children, ages 13, 11, 10, and 7, woke up. To protect them, he didn't share that he was talking to Maria. Then he would take his children to school and wait for Maria's response to his questions.

Maria shares that their letters got longer and longer. When Chris asked her for her phone number, she said, "No." Delighting in the letter-writing phase, she told him, "Let's wait. I am really enjoying getting to know you through our letters."

After about a week of more letter-writing, Maria felt ready to give Chris her phone number.

"I want you to be alone forever."

Before meeting Maria, Chris had discussed with his children how he was young and that he might date in the future. He didn't know what God had planned for him. He told them, "Maybe I'll be a single dad forever, or perhaps I'll meet someone." All of his children were supportive, but Chris's youngest son, then 7, wasn't happy about the prospect of having a new mom. He told his dad, "I want you to be alone forever."

Consequently, it was uncomfortable and nerve-wracking to think of introducing Maria to his resistant son. Chris and Maria were already covertly dating for two-and-a-half months before Chris decided it felt like the right time for them to meet Maria.

"Honestly, I fell for her very quickly, but I was trying to behave cautiously," he reveals.  

Meeting the kids!

In October 2018, Maria, her 17-year-old daughter Bela, and their dog, Russ, met Chris in an outdoor area. "When our kids saw each other, they immediately started playing with each other. My daughter took Bela's hand and began running around," he says. "We both just sat there nervously watching our children interact. It was beautiful to watch."

Two days before he introduced Maria to the kids, Chris had broken the news that he was involved with Maria. He told them that he liked her very much and wanted them to meet Maria and her daughter, but that he wanted them to decide on their own if they liked Maria. By the time the two families parted, the children were inviting Maria and her daughter to go to Mass and hang out.

"It was love at first sight for all of us," he shares.

Even Chris's youngest came around quickly.

Then, they all proposed to her.

In June 2020, Chris and Maria had been together a little over two years when he proposed to her in Telluride, Colorado. His kids helped him to plan and carry off the proposal. 

"We were on this romantic hike along the river," she recalls. "On the walk, he showed me all of the photos that he had put together and reminded me of the memories."

When the couple approached a bridge, Chris told Maria, "Let's cross here."

Maria didn't see anyone approaching her on the opposite side of the bridge because she hadn't worn her contact lenses. She also didn't realize that Chris was going to propose right then. As they walked further, Maria spotted Chris's children lined up and walking towards her, and they each were holding a bouquet of flowers! 

"Oh my gosh, what's going on?" she asked Chris as she turned around to see him on one knee. "We're on the bridge, and I am in the middle being proposed to with this huge bouquet that my daughter and Chris's kids had given me. Of course, our children got out their phones and they are videoing us. It was very touching."

A live-streamed wedding...

On September 5, 2020, at St. George Maronite Catholic Church, in San Antonio, Chris and Maria joined their families in Holy Matrimony with their children and parents in attendance. Due to COVID restrictions, they live-streamed the wedding. All of their friends and family logged in to watch the ceremony.

"We had a lot of people rooting for us," she recalls.

"Our friends and family took photos of themselves watching us get married," he says. "Our wedding album is pictures of kids on the floor in front of their TV."

Now, they're just grateful!

Thinking back on losing his first wife and then finding Maria, Christ says, "God answered all of my prayers in what I was looking for in a Catholic wife. I think I was rewarded for trusting in his plan and not doubting him."

The couple credits CatholicMatch for bringing their hope and dreams to reality. "We are big promoters of the site. We proudly tell anyone who will listen that we met on CatholicMatch.com."