Four months after meeting for their first date, Jody got a text from Peter: “We need to talk.” This didn’t come as a surprise. She had been getting frustrated how just when she thought she was getting closer to him, Peter pulled back. So, he must have been planning on dumping her.
“I was frustrated because I thought: if I take time away from my kids, to be with you, I need to know you want to be with me!” she said of Peter at the time.
Peter, 62, was fully expecting Jody to break up with him.
From his perspective, her life seemed too crazy! She had six children from her previous marriage, as well as three dogs, two birds, two chickens, and one tortoise. AND she was a full-time teacher. Where could there possibly be room for a retired widower like him?
The only time they could meet up for this fateful breakup talk was a spare half-hour at Jody’s, before her kids came home from school. (Crazy busy, right?)
“Okay, here’s the deal,” Jody began ominously.
“Are you breaking up with me?” Peter interrupted, hoping to cut to the chase.
“What?! I thought YOU were breaking up with ME!” she cried.
Sitting together on the sofa, facing their confusion, they felt as if God was shoving them back on track. Peter remembers looking at Jody and thinking of their relationship as a bullseye target.
“What I’m in love with is the center of that bullseye, Jody. The concentric rings of our lives and children and busyness . . . none of that matters. It’s that center that I was falling for,” Peter said. So, they started talking about all those obstacles they thought would drive them apart: a nine-year age gap, multiple children of varying ages, her career, his calm retirement . . . and they realized none of it mattered when they were with the right person.
So, they made things official!
“I didn’t care how we made it work, we just needed to make it work!” Jody says. So, instead of a breakup, they parted as an official couple, sealing the deal with their first kiss! That was September 1st, 2021.
The two had initially connected on CatholicMatch in early May, where they swapped phone numbers and texted for a couple of weeks before meeting up in person. Jody, 53, had joined two years after the unexpected passing of her first husband, which had thrown her big family into a tailspin. She took time to grieve, to take care of her children, and rediscover who she was as a single person again. Then, she joined online dating primarily looking for friendship. She wasn’t having luck with any of the blind dates her friends set up, and she wanted to connect with other committed Catholics.
“CatholicMatch seemed the obvious and only choice,” she says.
Peter’s wife passed away from Alzheimer’s, a diagnosis received halfway through their thirty-year marriage. He joined CatholicMatch later, merely looking for some new friends to make plans with on the weekends.
But, when Jody came along, “all that went out the window!”
After they got to know each other a bit more, he found himself wanting to spend all his time with her. They connected over the life-altering grief they’d both experienced through losing their beloved first spouses.
“We still love our spouses and always will. But that doesn’t mean there’s not room in our hearts for each other,” Peter says. “We’re lucky! In 60 (combined) years of marriage, we understand what makes relationships work!” he adds with a laugh.
“As cliche as it sounds, just don’t give up hope that there’s someone (else) out there for you,” Jody advises.
On May 21st of 2022, they recreated their very first date, exactly one year later.
They met in the same historic public square in Atlanta, Georgia, meeting on the same bench. They wore the same clothes, and even reintroduced themselves! Then they walked down the street to share a glass of prosecco at the wine market, and had tapas at the nearby food booth. Peter ended the date with a proposal, of course!
“We were both ready to be engaged, but I had to wait for May 21st!” he says.
Naturally, they are also planning their wedding date for May 21st of 2023! Peter and Jody take a unique and thoughtful approach to wedding planning, since this is “not their first rodeo.” Firstly, they talked to their children about where to have the wedding. Jody’s children chose Peter’s home parish–they’d held their father’s funeral Mass in their home parish, and would like to see the upcoming wedding as “a fresh start.” Their children (Peter has two of his own) will serve as the wedding party, and the reception will be devoid of formalities in favor of “hanging out and having fun!”
Both of them feel ready to embark on a new marriage together.
They also recognize how important it is for them to remember the deep effects and lasting changes from their first marriages.
“We still talk and still tear up, even together,” Peter says. “It’s just fine, it doesn’t take away from our relationship. (Our first marriages) were happy times and part of us. We wish we could have met each other’s spouses, we would have been great friends!”
“Because of CatholicMatch, we were able to find a partner who not only has a strong Catholic faith, but a love for the great outdoors, live music, good food, and fun just being together. We are nearly inseparable!” Jody says.
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