While scanning her matches, Pam liked one of David's photos and he immediately asked her out! He sent her a message saying, "Hey, I am coming to the Lake Erie area, do you want to go out?"
David added, "So you know that I am not a serial killer, here's my last name!"
"I thought, 'Sure, why not?'" says Pam, 72.
They each had two dates lined up...
David and Pam are both from Ohio but from different parts of the state. He was already driving three hours to meet a CatholicMatch member, but he thought he would also like to meet Pam, too!
"I thought, let's kill two birds with one stone. I had a date planned for Friday, and on Sunday, I'd meet Pam," recalls Dave, 66.
Pam didn't mind because she was also interested in someone else on CatholicMatch, but that relationship wasn't working out as well as she had hoped. She figured that she should see what else was out there, which prompted her to say "yes" to David.
Friend or a wife?
Due to COVID restrictions, finding a restaurant proved challenging, but Pam located one of the only open restaurants. In late August 2020, she and David met for brunch at the Burntwood Tavern in Brecksville, OH. The two found they had so much to talk about. Both had lost their spouses to cancer, and they shared a devotion to Our Lady.
"I'm a retired teacher, so I can talk a lot, but I met my match!" she laughs. "Normally, I dominate conversations. I'd never met someone who had so many different interests; he could speak on pretty much everything, so I found him interesting."
David adds, "From my standpoint, it was love at first sight."
David and Pam left the date with a positive feeling about one another. They felt confident that they had a budding friendship. In fact, before the date ended, David—always bold—teased:
Pam, "Either we will be good, good friends, or you will be my wife."
They were on the same page, but the adult children were not…
David began making the three-hour drive to see Pam every two weeks. They were both employed then, so they had to work around their busy schedules. Even so, their relationship turned serious quickly. After four months, David proposed.
Some of David's adult children felt their dad had moved on too soon.
"In 2020, I proposed at Christmas time so we could have a July wedding," he shares.
David's 91-year-old mother was over the moon about his wanting to marry Pam; however, not all of David's three children were on board with having a stepmom. David's adult children were still mourning their mom, who had died in November 2018. Pam's children also took issue with the marriage because they didn't want her to move.
"We all grieve at a certain rate, but I had already grieved, and I needed to move on," he says. "I took the loss of my first wife very hard, but I didn't want to feel miserable for the rest of my life."
A peace offering...
Amongst much turmoil, David and Pam decided to cancel the wedding. She felt she couldn't marry someone whose family didn't welcome her. With all the stress of postponing the wedding, the couple had an argument that caused them not to speak for three weeks!
"I thought that was it. We were done." She recalls. "I went back on CatholicMatch."
It was Mother's Day 2021 when she received an unexpected gift. There, sitting on her deck, was a grill. Initially, she thought it was from her children.
"No, it was from that guy she wasn't talking to," chuckles David.
He has sent her an email saying, "Don't delete this. You like to cook out. I hope you have a wonderful day with your children and grandchildren."
Pam liked the grill and thought it was a nice gesture. She wondered what David might be up to and if the grill was an apology or truce. David sent the grill because he was missing Pam. Even though all of his children weren’t supportive of he and Pam’s relationship, he wasn’t going to miss his chance at happiness.
"From that point on, we started texting and then we began talking and working out our issues," Pam remembers.
Soon after reuniting, they were again planning a wedding.
But, there were more wedding date debacles!
The couple had their invitations sent for their December 2021 wedding when Pam fell ill, and then David contracted COVID. So, for a second time, Pam and David's marriage didn't take place.
Fortunately, however, they didn't have to wait long. On January 29th, 2022, the two finally said their wedding vows at Pam's parish, St. Joseph's in Strongsville, OH. On the same day, they had a Latin Mass at St. Peregrine's in Richfield, OH to celebrate their union. About seventy friends and family attended the wedding and Mass, which was amazing considering both occurred during high COVID and between snowstorms.
"By the grace of God, we persevered all the way to the end," David says.
David ended up moving to Pam’s home and he visits his children often.
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