She Brought Her Cousin on Their First Date

When Ricky, 40, met Michelle, 38, for their first in-person date at a Denny’s restaurant, they weren’t alone.

Michelle brought along her cousin as a “bodyguard.” Ricky greeted them with gifts—a flower and candy bar for Michelle, and Reese’s Pieces for her cousin. “That was a bonus that kept me talking to him because he was kind and sweet, and I knew that was the kind of man I wanted to date,” Michelle said.

“She wore very high heels that night and was taller than me,” Ricky remembered. “I was blown away by how pretty she was and how shy she was,” he said. They left Denny’s and attended the local Catholic Congress. “It was a very Catholic first date,” Ricky said.

"My expectations were not all physical when I met him," Michelle said. "Though I didn't see him as my type initially, I went out with him because he was so kind and I felt like we had a true connection on the phone."

Michelle was married before, received an annulment, and has a child.

“After a terrible relationship, I knew the next time around needed to be a serious relationship, and my husband needed to be of my faith,” Michelle shared.

“That was not an option for me. I am looking for a place in heaven and won't go outside my religion to date.”

Ricky, never married, felt the same. “I wanted to date someone who was wife material, with the same faith as me,” he said. “I wanted a woman of God.” That’s what drew them both to CatholicMatch. Ricky was on the site for a few months, but never contacted any of his matches.

“Guys aren’t getting as many messages as ladies are,” Ricky said.

That changed when Michelle reached out to him first. 

“It was out of nowhere,” he recalled with a big smile. “A very pretty girl has messaged me.” The answers on Ricky’s profile impressed Michelle, and she thought he looked cute in his photo. 

Ricky was the first man Michelle seriously talked to on CatholicMatch. “Others were flaky and I didn't feel ready to move to a serious status, or didn't want to meet after telling them how far away I lived,” she said. “Ricky was patient and open-minded and a gentleman.” 

They traded messages every day on CatholicMatch for about a month. Then Michelle added Ricky on Snapchat since it wouldn’t require her to share her phone number to call or video-chat with him. “I felt it was a safe way to communicate without giving my contact info out just yet.”

Michelle was hesitant at first. “I was a little shaky about becoming his girlfriend and moving forward, but I didn't want to let him know that or he wouldn't keep talking to me,” she confessed. Michelle loved how special Ricky made her feel, and she didn’t want to lose that feeling. After continuing to talk and date, she felt comfortable that he was the one for her.

“I am glad I ran with my intuition to keep dating and gave him a chance.”

Eventually, Ricky proposed. They faced some pressure from family members who were concerned they might be moving too fast. Ricky also has a child, and they both knew that raising two children would present challenges. They also lived several hours apart, so distance was a factor.  

“I was very eager to finally be wed and stop driving and spending money commuting,” Michelle said. “My fiancé basically ran himself dry of funds coming to visit me, buying a new car, a ring, and spending money on things for me. It was hard with him driving every weekend from Anaheim to San Diego. We didn't know if we would make it through this journey to ever get married, and had tons of obstacles including a family who was not on our side.” 

Even so, Michelle and Ricky overcame these challenges. They attended an Engaged Encounter weekend and completed marriage preparation classes online.

“We also did premarital counseling to make sure we knew how to handle everything going in,” Michelle said.

The preparation made them both feel ready, and they married on May 1, 2019. 

For both, the highlight of their wedding was getting to kiss for the first time as husband and wife. They enjoyed celebrating with their family and friends at the wedding and after party. Ricky and Michelle now enjoy living together, going to church, and bringing their two children together. 

“She is very kind and loving,” Ricky said. “I appreciate her heart.” Though they admit that dealing with their children’s discipline and finding time for each other can sometimes be a struggle, they are both grateful to have found each other. “He is giving and kind and honest,” Michelle said. “Ricky is the love of my life.”