On January 3, 2015, Rachel and Jaret, who shared their story last year, were married at St. Mark’s Catholic Church in Boise, Idaho. I was lucky enough to attend their wedding, and to see a CatholicMatch wedding up close.
When asked what the highlight of the wedding was, the couple agreed that all of it was memorable
and they especially enjoyed their reception.
Jared also recalled that seeing Rachel in her wedding dress was a highlight. “I remember standing at the altar waiting for Rachel. I was the last to see her all dressed up, and it was pretty awesome to see her like that. I was all smiles.”
As a guest, I especially enjoyed their priest, Fr. Bruno’s, sermon. He told Jaret, “Just because he was marrying Rachel didn’t mean God would stop making pretty girls, so he would have to work to be a faithful husband.” He also emphasized the fact that couples need to support each other and be each other’s friends in addition to being romantic. He said that the husband and wife take on different roles depending on the other’s need. Sometimes a wife will need to be a mother or a sister to her husband and husband will have to be a father and a brother to his wife.
The Transition Period
The couple says that being married is “awesome,” but they also shared that the transition from dating to married was a big adjustment.
“It’s a huge shift going from dating to being married and living together. You have to learn how to work together and coordinate your lives,” says Rachel.
“When you’re not married, there’s a lot of things you do that don’t really affect anyone else, but once you’re married you always have to be conscious of things because pretty much whatever you do can affect the other person,” says Jaret.
Rachel also said that a big part of the first year of marriage was learning how to handle conflict productively. “You spend a lot of time finding out what your similarities and differences are. All of those things are magnified when you’re married.”
“It took some time, but I think we’re pretty much adjusted now,” shared Jaret.
Spending Time Together
Even though they have had to adjust to living together, they also say that being able to be around
each other all the time is the best part of being married. “While we were dating, if she came to hang out, she had to leave at night and we wouldn’t get to see each other until the next time we were both free. But now when I go to bed, she’s there and the same thing when I wake up,” says Jaret.
Rachel said that she loves the freedom that comes with being married. “We had all these plans and things that we wanted to do and now that we’re married, we can do them together. We can travel together; we can go camping together; we can fall asleep together, and we can cook together. There are all these things that we get to do now that we’re married. I think that’s one thing that I really love.”
Rachel also shared that being married has helped her faith. “Now that I’m married, I have someone by my side who motivates me to pray more. This helps me to be more into my faith than when it was just me on my own.”
Baby Surprise
When they got married, Rachel and Jaret hoped to put off having children using NFP because they were both still in college. God had other plans and Rachel is pregnant with a little boy, Daniel, who is due next fall.
The couple acknowledged that having a baby so quickly made their transition into married life a little bit harder. “I got pregnant and there were all these hormones. It was all at once and crazy. It was awesome, but it was stressful too,” says Rachel.
“It was great, but it can make things a little tougher. I’m a believer that if things are tough, you will be better and stronger because of it. But there’s something to be said for not transitioning to everything all at once,” says Jaret.
Because of the pregnancy, Rachel is not in school anymore and is instead working full time from home for a marketing company. “I’m hopefully going to go down to part-time when the baby comes. It’s nice because I’ll get to work from home and still be able to take care of the baby.”
She shared that she doesn’t plan to go back to school when Daniel is older. “I was going to school for vocal performance. I feel like what I wanted to do with it I can do on my own without going back and finishing. I don’t see myself going back, but I am definitely still learning all the music theory."
Last semester Jaret switched from being a business major to civil engineering, so he will have at least three years of school left because there is no overlap in the majors. He is also working full time.
Advice for Other New Couples
I asked the couple if they had any advice for other new couples that were in their first year of marriage or discerning marriage together. Jaret shared that he never believed that marriage was hard work before he got married. “I’ve always heard everyone say marriage is work, but I thought, nah. It can’t be that much work. So I guess my advice would be that there’s a good chance your marriage is going to be a lot of work, so be prepared for that."
Rachel also advised engaged couples to really talk about the serious topics. “When you’re dating,
you kind of glaze over the serious topic. You don’t talk about them too in-depth because you’re so in love. It’s important to remember to really talk about the serious stuff beforehand.”
As for advice for already married couples, Rachel emphasized the importance of praying together. “Praying is the number one thing you should always do because that’s just going to make you stronger. No matter what and you need to have God in your relationship.”
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