Oncology nurse Samara had been an on and off member of CatholicMatch since 2016.
In 2018, at age 23, she began talking to a resident doctor over two hundred miles away in Iowa. Soon after, she began talking to a man named Derek, then 28, who also was a resident doctor… in Iowa… in the very same hospital. In a couple of weeks, she realized that Derek and the other gentleman were roommates!
“If something awkward is going to happen, it’s going to happen to me!” Samara laughs. Both gentlemen had caught her eye because of their love of the medical field. (Um, two for the price of one?)
“We had an understanding of ‘may the best man win’,” Derek recalled about the friendly competition with his roommate. He had first messaged Samara in May, and after a few exchanges, Derek didn’t hear from her for ten straight days.
He assumed she’d lost interest.
Samara, however, had just been on vacation in Florida. After those ten days, she responded to Derek with a colorful story about finding a live sand dollar at the beach, whom she named Peso. They messaged every few days on CatholicMatch for six weeks, at which point, Derek asked her to Skype.
"The conversation just flowed so naturally,” Samara says. They chatted about vacations, faith, families, and that mutual interest in medicine. “It didn't hurt that Derek had a great sense of humor and kept me laughing!"
Soon, Derek drove the 3.5 hours to Samara's hometown to meet her at a local pizzeria. The conversation and chemistry positively exploded! Samara even found herself thinking "This is a guy I could see myself marrying!" And then promptly gave herself a stern internal talking-to because this was only their first date.
Sometimes when you know, you just know.
Derek was equally smitten. For their second date, he prepared a homemade picnic. In fact, it was the first picnic he'd ever been on! On their third date, they agreed to be an official couple. The next months brought a variety of adventures, including visiting a Norwegian spoon museum, going on a ghost tour, and trying on chainmail at a weaponry museum. They also spent time with Samara’s tight-knit family and drove to see Derek’s parents in Nebraska as well. Misadventures also cropped up, which mostly involved the couple getting lost. On one particular date, they decided to visit a secondhand bookstore. They parked their car and walked around the block looking for it, only to discover they’d parked directly in front of the little shop to start with. Lost in each other’s eyes instead, perhaps?
Samara says as they got more serious, she took her discernment to prayer frequently.
She was fortunate enough to have an Adoration chapel in her workplace, and would often pray there. She always had a feeling of peace about their relationship but often second-guessed herself. “I would start questioning if I was projecting the answer I very much wanted to hear,” she explains. “After a couple of months of this, I think God decided to pound his answer into my thick skull, because the next time I went to Adoration, I was almost knocked off the kneeler by the force of God's voice telling me BE WITH HIM!”
So, they started talking about getting married eventually.
They were pretty open about the topic because with Derek’s residency still going on, they knew they’d have to time things like engagements and weddings carefully. But Derek still wanted to surprise her!
15 months into their relationship, Derek planned a whole day of activities, including a morning steamboat ride down the Mississippi. However, a cold and rainy October dawn dashed his carefully laid plans. He and Samara instead visited an art museum, a winery, and stopped at a church to spend time in prayer. Then they went to the park of their third date, a special place where they’d decided to date exclusively.
"Derek told me many sweet things he loved about me, his dreams for our future together, and asked me to marry him. I was thrilled and said yes before he had even had a chance to open the ring box! It was cold, wet, rainy and absolutely perfect," Samara remembers.
They planned their wedding for June 6th, 2020, a short 8 months away.
And then the pandemic hit just a few months before the wedding! Their work in hospitals and with fragile cancer patients left them in daily contact with a vulnerable population. For the safety of their patients, the couple was unable to be together in person for a full two months. Long video chats and regular prayer together was crucial.
"Thank goodness for WhatsApp!" says Samara.
Their wedding faced a brutal overhaul, as well. They downsized to immediate family only and canceled their Hawaii honeymoon. "Having to make a lot of adaptations forced us to be flexible and trust that what God had in store for us would be the right thing,” they say. Derek and Samara were grateful to be able to have a wedding Mass and danced the night away at Samara’s parents’ house. Fun fact, their first dance really was their FIRST dance. They had never danced together on one of their dates before!
They now live in Iowa, where Derek is in his last year of Internal Medicine Residency. They have been enjoying exploring their new city and setting up their home together. "We feel so lucky getting to say ‘good night’ instead of ‘goodbye’ at the end of the day!" says Samara.
The advice they would give to others on CatholicMatch?
“Stay hopeful and don't be afraid to put yourself out there. God definitely uses CatholicMatch to bring people together who would never have met in real life!”
One more note...success on CatholicMatch definitely runs in Samara's family! Read her sisters' story here!
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