In October of 2016, Adrianna, an elementary music teacher from small-town Illinois, signed up for CatholicMatch. Beforehand, she recalled, “I had reservations about online dating in general, basically from a safety perspective.” But after unsuccessfully “church hopping” and “husband shopping” around her local area for some time, she eventually enlisted the help of an old college friend to help her create a profile one weekend. She saw Taylor’s profile on a Saturday night, and messaged him “after much deliberation” on Monday morning!
He had no plans to renew his subscription.
For his part, Taylor, a microbiologist from another small Illinois town, had been on CatholicMatch for three years by the time he received Adrianna’s message. While he tried several dating sites initially, he quickly settled on a CatholicMatch subscription once he realized “how important it was to me to find a future spouse who was as serious about her Catholic faith as I was.” Still, after going on many dates over several years without a significant relationship materializing, he relates “I wasn’t checking in that often anymore.” When he heard from Adrianna, he had more or less given up on finding a spouse through the site and had decided not to renew his subscription when the current term was up.
Both were deeply committed to their Catholic faith.
Each was struck by the other person’s pictures first and then by their shared love of and appreciation for the Catholic faith. For six weeks after that message, they got to know each other through texts, phone calls, messages, and occasional video chats! Because he felt that small talk had led to wasted time for himself and the women he’d talked to previously, Taylor made a point of asking purposeful, serious questions soon after they started talking. They progressively discussed what each was looking for in a spouse, marriage, family, and future, and found that they had much in common in each area.
Each thought the other was out of their league!
Interestingly, when they met in person for their first date in November, both parties thought that the other was out of their league! Taylor said, “I met her at her car. As soon as she got out I thought to myself, ‘Wow, she’s so pretty! She’s way out of my league. No way she’s going to give me a second date!’” After the date, Adrianna thought “there was an instant attraction, but [I] was sure he would never go out with me again. I thought for sure I was over-reaching and shot a little too high for the first time around!”
He told her she might have to hold his hand on the first date!
They started out the date by walking around Scheels, an outdoor and sporting goods store Taylor frequented. Adrianna said that after Taylor showed her around, they talked in the store’s coffee shop before riding a Scheels specialty- an indoor ferris wheel. Before they got on the ride, Taylor, who described himself as “deathly afraid of heights,” told Adrianna “you might have to hold my hand,” but she assumed he was joking. She realized that he was quite serious when the ferris wheel attendant took one look at his pale face after they’d gone around one revolution and asked, “dude, are you ok?”
The date continued with Mass at the Cathedral in Springfield, Illinois’ capital city, followed by dinner. Both considered the date a resounding success, and they made plans to see each other again.
Because of the distance, they went on ‘marathon dates’.
Since they lived several hours apart, the couple was only able to get together in person on the weekends. Friends jokingly called their visits “mega dates” or “marathon dates” because they spent all day most Saturdays and Sundays with each other. For their second date, he drove her way for a tour of her alma mater’s campus and a Christmas concert by the choir she’d been a member of in college.
In sickness and in health...
In their first handful of dates, Taylor and Adrianna each took turns being sick and nursing the other back to health! On their third date, she drove to see him in an ice storm that, looking back, she said “I had no business driving in!” During that same visit, she came down with a raging fever and ear infection. He took her to the doctor, got her medicine, and generally took care of her until the symptoms subsided. Two dates later, she returned the favor, caring for him when he developed a 103-degree fever and a bad case of strep throat during his visit. Taylor observed of those times, “God gave us opportunities to be extremely vulnerable,” witnessing each other at less-than-their-best and choosing to be at the service of the other.
They discussed marriage early on.
In between her ear infection and his strep throat, Taylor and Adrianna had a serious heart-to-heart conversation on their fourth-weekend date about where he saw their relationship going. He told her, “I know this seems really early, but I’ve been in a lot of relationships and done a lot of online dating. I’m definitely falling in love with you!” Adrianna took his comments in stride, responding that she was feeling similarly.
She cut him off when he proposed!
In February of 2017, after four months of dating, Taylor proposed. Adrianna shared, “Even though I knew it was coming, I didn’t suspect a thing! We went to Mass and adoration after (to let people clear out, I later found out) and then he stopped me and asked in front of the church. His mom was parked across the street taking pictures and I never saw her!” Taylor related, “I stopped her and said ‘I’m certain God has brought us together. Our relationship has been centered on Him, and I couldn’t think of a better place than this to ask you, Will you…” But before he could finish with “marry me,” Adrianna blurted out, “yes!” She recalled laughingly, “I was just so excited, I said ‘yes’ before he got all the words out.” Realizing that she’d cut him off, she said, “try again, I’m sorry!” Undeterred, Taylor repeated the proposal, “Will you marry me?” And again, she said, “yes"!
They determined not to go into debt paying for the wedding.
On January 6th, 2018, Taylor and Adrianna were married. They incorporated a version of the Croatian wedding crucifix tradition during the Mass. Afterward, they had a homegrown reception as part of their successful quest to avoid going into any debt for the wedding, reception, or honeymoon. They and their guests enjoyed soup and sandwiches prepared and served by his and her families.
Reflecting back on four years of marriage, the couple has experienced manifold sacramental graces resulting from the union of two becoming one that occurred on their wedding day.
Adrianna said she’s been surprised and blessed to find how many times God communicates with her via Taylor, and vice versa. Something that came to him in prayer will often end up being a response to a question she’s asked or a need she’s brought up in her own relationship with God. Taylor noted, “Marriage has not been easy.” With two young sons and a third child on the way, “there’ve been all kinds of curveballs. But God has provided in every instance.”
Asked what advice they’d offer to singles who wrestle with the question of whether signing up for CatholicMatch is “trying to take control” rather than letting God’s will be done in their lives, Adrianna offered encouragement that signing up for CatholicMatch is “like putting yourself in the right place” for a meeting to happen. Taylor observed that when we pray for grace, the Holy Spirit prompts us to take action, adding “What better place [than a Catholic dating site] to be open to God’s work?”
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