One Little Prayer to Help You Date More Wisely

I was very nervous about dating again after my divorce and annulment.

Honestly, it kind of overwhelmed me.

I was afraid I would be tricked or deceived by a man or worse that I myself would repeat mistakes again from before I had gotten married. But the funny thing about pain in life, is that it has the potential to be a beautiful teacher. And as I began to date, I saw I had learned a lot about myself and had gone through a lot of personal healing that made me a healthier, more self-aware woman.

I remind myself of that as I work through a recent break-up from the first serious relationship since my divorce. As I do more healing work, I find those same fears from before starting to creep in.

Satan thrives on the lies we tell ourselves, he loves to play on our innermost fears and insecurities.

Some of the ones I wrestle with most: You will always be alone. You will be hurt or tricked by a man again. The desires of your heart will never happen, they will fail you. God is not faithful or kind. You will never find someone to share your life with.

You get the idea.

Maybe your tapes are similar or different to mine.

The problem with Satan is we must not entertain what we know are lies or deceptions from him. We have to send him and those thoughts back to Hell where they belong.

As I have been personally working through some of those old fears recently, I was reminded of a piece of helpful advice my younger sister gave me when I first started dating after my divorce and annulment.

Specifically, a prayer to help me make better dating decisions and trust my gut better this time around.

Ask the Holy Spirit to make things very, very clear.

Pray to the Holy Spirit, and ask Him to make it very clear in your heart and mind as to what your next move should be. My own version went something like this: Holy Spirit, make it so clear to me if I should be open to this or further something with this man. Make it abundantly clear. Fill me with your peace.

Or it can be as simple as Come Holy Spirit, come Holy Spirit.

It was a helpful guide for me, especially since it was a new thing for me to date in a healthier way this time around. I know when I feel ready to begin dating again, I will be praying the same prayer to the Holy Spirit to help me know the will of God in discerning whom I should marry someday.

I think it is really important to be open to the promptings and sense of the Holy Spirit working in your life, especially when it comes to trusting your gut when dating (whether for the first time after a breakup or not) and discerning your vocation.

You can always talk to the Holy Spirit; ask for guidance, help, clarity, and peace to help make things clear.

Learning to date in a different way after a divorce was an adjustment for me. I had to put into practice everything I had learned in counseling about boundaries, communication, healthy sexuality, and what important questions I needed to ask.

I had to learn how to actively trust my gut, to listen and pay attention to my thoughts and feelings.

Not that praying to the Holy Spirit was a magic pill or something, but praying to the Holy Spirit gave me direction and courage and peace to trust myself, and trust the process. Leaning more into the Spirit of God helped me rely on myself less and on God more.

Wherever you are in the wonderful world of dating, lean into the Holy Spirit for guidance and wisdom as you meet new people and discern the call of marriage.

Are there any particular prayers you pray or rely on to help you on that journey in your own life?