“I had signed up for CatholicMatch in September 2013 as a tongue-in-cheek way of telling my family and friends, 'See? I’m dating. I even paid for a month!'” Lucy, from Portland, Oregon, says.
After a string of failed relationships, the 29-year-old had given up on finding love. She had lost faith in dating or ever getting married and she assumed that she would remain single. “My profile all but reflected this and I took great pains to try and scare off any potential suitor that crossed my path. It worked, too. Pleased with myself for pulling the wool over my friends and family’s eyes, I continued to count down the days until my membership was over.”
Matched With Adam
Then one day near the end of her subscription, she noticed that she was matched with Adam, 32, and curiosity got the better of her. She took a look at his profile and she liked what she saw. He was handsome, enjoyed the same pastimes (hiking, working out, eating clean), and he was faithful to all the teachings of the Catholic Church. Like Lucy, he also loved Theology of the Body, had an appreciation for the Latin Mass, and he was Pro-life.
“Bingo! I approved the match and was surprised that he did the same.”
Adam, from Seattle, Washington, had signed up for CatholicMatch after a number of unsuccessful blind dates. Lucy was his first match on the site. He sent her a few brief messages. “Nothing would ever come of this," thought Lucy.
However, after three messages, Adam asked Lucy if he could drive down and take her out for a cup of coffee, promising to only keep her for a half hour.
He told her that he wanted to see her in person because he didn’t want to risk creating a persona of someone who didn’t actually exist.
“He was quickly winning massive brownie points, but I was unsure if I wanted to date and I felt bad for potentially leading him on,” Lucy remembers. “My roommates told me to get over it—part of discerning is putting yourself out there.”
Lucy wrote Adam back telling him that she wouldn’t let him drive six hours round-trip for a 30-minute coffee date—they should share a meal too.
First Date
“He drove us to Kornblatts, a local Portland Jewish deli with the best reuben this side of New York City. We sat and talked and talked and talked. So much so that the wait staff stopped refilling our water glasses.” They discussed everything: including Lucy’s time in Washington, DC, Adam’s travels, and the mountains he wanted to climb. It was quite the surprise when they discovered that their best friends were siblings. “Our world suddenly grew very small.”
Looking at Adam’s handsome face, Lucy didn’t want their date to end. She suggested that they drive up to Pittock Mansion up in the West Hills.
“The sky was exceptionally clear that day and I knew we’d get to see the five mountain peaks from the edge of the cliff,” says Lucy. “Adam started pointing out every single mountain peak both major and lessor within the vicinity and I realized that our three-hour date was going to be over too soon.”
Dating, But Confused About What She Wanted
Their relationship continued with phone calls and with Adam visiting bi-weekly. Family and friends started to inquire about their relationship.
“I knew that he was more into me than I was into him and I felt bad that I still didn’t know if I wanted to let myself be open.”
Around Christmas, Lucy invited Adam to go tree hunting with her family. This would be his first time meeting her family. “I was getting comments from my sister the whole time, telling me that I needed to make up my mind because everyone could see that he liked me and that I liked him and that I needed to face that fact.”
Lucy could see how well Adam had gotten along with her family and she had to admit that she didn’t want Adam to leave.
Learning to Trust Again
She decided it was time to talk about the dating rules and expectations during their New Years Eve date. I wanted to know what he wanted to get out of this. I had dated guys in the past who only dated for fun and I was over that. Either we were discerning something more or we were going our separate ways.”
Adam agreed.
The two of them also agreed to make prayer and attending Mass together as much as possible a center point of the relationship.
“I told him that I was working on my insecurities and there were going to be a few hiccups. He said that he knew that and he wasn’t going anywhere and would help me get through them.”
Lucy felt in her heart that she could trust Adam.
She felt safe enough to share her feelings with Adam when she saw how willing he was to sacrifice for her good. When she had sprained her neck he took care of her. “I was flat on my back and he was kneeling by my side after our evening prayers. He looked tired; it had been a long week at work and here he was, serving me. My eyes welled up with happiness and I muttered, ‘I love you.’”
Adam looked into Lucy’s eyes and smiled saying, “I love you too.”
“His eyes welled up, too (although he'll never admit to it),” she says.
Adam proposed on the Feast of Christ the King, right before the final prayer of our novena. “After months and months of praying novena after novena and praying for discernment, we both knew that we wanted to strive toward heaven together. We continue to pray together every morning and night over the phone and have made prayer the cornerstone of our relationship. I love this man: his faith, his patience, kindness (his St. Joseph-ness as I often describe it), his outlook on life, his enthusiasm, and his commitment to family. And on September 12, 2015, I will have the honor of becoming his wife. Thank you, CatholicMatch.”
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