I Asked Him out for Coffee in my First Message

A total of eight guys appeared on Allison’s CatholicMatch search. 

“I had super high standards of what I wanted my future husband to be like,” she admitted. These included being taller than her, seven out of seven for Catholic beliefs, lived within 50 miles, not previously married, no children, within five years of her age, and he had to want lots of kids.

After growing up her whole life on a small farm in Hillsboro, Oregon, Allison, 25, spent a year as a missionary with NET Ministries in Minnesota. She discerned that she was not called to religious life. In March 2017, she returned home and decided to give CatholicMatch a try for a month.

Throughout her first week on CM, potential matches popped up, but Allison kept clicking.

“I was not interested because there was always something that I didn't feel at peace with about the men,” she said. Then she came across Tim's profile. His photo instantly attracted her.

“His luscious locks and enticing smile captured my attention immediately,” she said. Reading through Tim’s profile, she grew increasingly interested. They seemed to have much in common. Both were homeschooled at some point, and both loved learning and good family values. 

“I remember thinking this guy was way too good to be true and there was no way he would be interested in dating me,” Allison said. She didn’t want to seem too eager, so she didn't message him right away. Allison is traditional and liked to be pursued without being the pursuer.

“I figured if he was interested, he would see that I viewed his profile and that would be enough.”

Nevertheless, she took a risk and sent a message that she was interested in the match with Tim. She received a message saying Tim expressed interest in her too. 

“I was ecstatic!” Allison said. “I had never expressed interest in a match before because my standards were so high, and the one time I did, his message about expressing interest in me came up first, which I inferred to mean he expressed interest in me before I did him.”

Allison decided she would wait for him to pursue her as the gentleman in the potential relationship.

She waited 24 hours. 

What Allison didn't know is that Tim, 29, was in the middle of his nightshift job at a manufacturing company and had not had a chance to check his CatholicMatch profile. He had recently moved to Oregon and was having difficulty balancing work life with having time to date. 

“I decided to reach out to him because I couldn't let this incredible guy get away,” Allison said. Since she knew that Tim lived in her town, her first message asked him out for coffee. Tim responded the next day. They exchanged seven messages within 24 hours, and the very next day, they met for their first date.

“I was super nervous before our first date because I thought Tim was way out of my league and I didn't want to mess up this opportunity to date such a substantial guy,” Allison said.

They met for warm drinks and the conversation flowed naturally. In addition to being physically attracted to Tim, Allison found him to be a solid Catholic who did not seem to compromise his beliefs due to social pressure. Four hours quickly passed. They exchanged phone numbers. 

Allison decided to go on a second date because Tim intrigued her and made her feel comfortable. “I was interested in knowing more about this guy that I had an instant connection with,” she said. “He made me feel at peace when I was with him and I could be fully myself.”

Allison and Tim have now been dating for 32 months. “Now that we've known each other for a couple of years, I appreciate that he is incredibly patient, understanding, supportive, and has a mighty gift of encouragement,” Allison said.

Early on, Tim’s work schedule presented a challenge. He worked a 12-hour nightshift.

Meanwhile, Allison was attending classes during the weekdays. This made setting up date nights difficult. Their dates wouldn't start until the evenings so that Tim could sleep during the day. The new couple managed opposite sleep schedules until Allison graduated in June 2019 and got a job at Tim’s company, working the same shift. 

A few months earlier, in March 2019, Tim got a rare job opportunity. But he would have to move to Arizona, where his company is based. After weighing the pros and cons, Allison and Tim decided it would be best for Tim to move to Arizona, where he would also be closer to his family. Tim bought a house in a neighborhood where they could raise their future family. 

For the past nine months, Allison and Tim have been making long-distance trips to and from Oregon and Arizona. “It has definitely had its difficulties, but it helped us to grow in ways that we couldn't when we were only a 15-minute drive from each other,” Allison said. It has also helped develop their communication, which they know will help them in the future. 

On December 2, 2019, Allison flew to Arizona to visit Tim for a belated Thanksgiving dinner where she could meet more of his family. Knowing that Allison loves nature and waterfalls, Tim took her on a two-hour drive to see snow-covered cactuses in northern Arizona. 

They drove the last 17 miles on a dirt road through puddles that splattered mud on the sides of his truck. They set out for a 1.5-mile hike. At the end was a beautiful waterfall. While Allison took photos, Tim discreetly withdrew a ring box from his backpack.

Tim dropped his water bottle, and when Allison bent down to pick it up, she realized Tim was behind her on bended knee.

He proposed, asking if she would do him the honor of becoming his wife. 

Allison responded: ”Of Course!!" They hugged and kissed. Tim asked a follow up question: "Was that a yes?” Allison beamed: "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" 

Allison and Tim are now planning their wedding long-distance until she moves to Arizona to transfer her job there. They plan to get married in fall 2020.