Jackie was so skeptical about online dating that she let her profile sit without a picture and a subscription for a year.
And that was even after her roommate met her husband on a Christian dating site.
“There came a day when I was tired of only meeting the wrong guys and I finally put finding my future husband in God’s hands. I wasn’t going to look anymore, but take a break, I guess, from dating, when I just had this strong feeling that I should check out my profile again. I didn’t want to because I just decided that I wasn’t going to date for a while, but then for some reason I gave in and subscribed,” said Jackie, then in her mid-20s.
Then she started browsing profiles.
“While I was disappointed I wasn’t meeting anyone that could progress to a relationship, I still think my time spent getting to know them helped show me that there really were fun, caring, smart, normal people out there who were proud to be Catholic and were looking for the same things I was,” Murphy said.
Murphy said he was drawn to Jackie because she was pretty, lived close by, looked fun and kind, and “checked all the boxes” for what he wanted in a partner.
His profile was different!
“I loved everything about his profile,” Jackie said. “I got very excited after I read his profile, not like when I read any of the other profiles.” She too was drawn to his good looks and proximity, as well as his ambitious career goals and desire for children.
The two connected in mid-September 2014 but were unable to go on a date for nearly a month and a half due to their busy schedules—Jackie’s work and Murphy’s grad school studies. Plus, they lived an hour and a half apart meaning that weekends were the only realistic time they could meet up. (Jackie was in Sioux City, Iowa; Murphy was in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.)
Their first date ended up being Halloween—but neither of them wanted to celebrate the holiday. So, instead, they went to the mall, had dinner at a restaurant, and then caught a movie. But at the theater, Murphy discovered he had left his credit card at the restaurant. The two decided to wait and see the movie first.
“Thankfully we picked a short movie and were able to get back before they closed. I rode with him to get his credit card because I wasn’t ready to stop hanging out with him yet,” Jackie said.
It took three dates for Jackie to realize she could “see myself with this guy forever.”
She had hesitated a bit since she thought he “was kinda weird” and they had “quite a few differences.”
“But I liked hanging out with him so much!” Jackie said.
However, Murphy was on the verge of leaving.
Since day one, he had told her he might have to move for work once he was done with grad school. Murphy started the process by visiting a friend to check out jobs.
One reason Murphy was job searching around the country was that he didn’t feel like there was anything keeping him where he was. "Also, I thought I needed to go somewhere new to find someone,” Murphy said.
But that changed when he saw his friend, right before Christmas. “All I could think about was how much I would miss Jackie and that’s when I decided I really wanted to give things a shot with her. When I got back, I drove over four hours straight to her apartment and told her how I felt,”Murphy said.
I truly thought it was over and wouldn't work out.
“I really thought he was going to move and it wouldn’t work out, but then he said when he was gone he realized that he would miss me too much and he wanted to stay here and date me. I was so happy and I knew he was the one!” Jackie said.
Ten months later, on October 9, 2015 they got engaged. They were married on November 5, 2016. The couple is now expecting their first child this summer.
“We always kept God and the Church a big part of our relationship. We didn’t really ever have an argument until it came to preparing for our wedding. We got through those challenges by always keeping perspective about marriage being a sacrament and focusing on that being the most important thing,” Jackie said.
