Eric has beaten the odds his whole life. Born with a genetic disease causing brittle bones called Osteogenesis Imperfecta, his tiny body was crushed during the birthing process. The doctors told his parents that he would die in a few hours, so a priest was called in to baptize him.
But God had other plans for him.
Eric spent much of his childhood with his legs in a cast, but he didn’t let his pain disability define him. “I realized that I had a choice: ‘Do I wallow in misery and suffering with the cross I have to bear or do I pick it up and run with it?’ For me the choice was easy. I didn’t want to sit around and be victimized by my disability,” explains the 41-year-old lawyer from San Diego.
Even though the world did not have high expectations of Eric, his parents did. They expected him to study hard and get perfect grades. His parents helped him to understand early on that for him to succeed he would have to excel intellectually.
Eric focused on school and career, and he did excel. After passing the BAR, he spent six years practicing Intellectual Property Litigation and then left to get experience in the courtroom, becoming a DA for six years—he’s currently in private practice practicing Patent Litigation. During this time, he hadn’t thought much about romantic relationships. “The hopeless romantic that I am had hoped that I would just run into the person I was meant to be with and we would easily fall in love and live happily ever after.”
Look Beyond His Wheelchair
He felt very confident professionally, but less confident about romance and relationships. “I figured who would want to date me? I’ve got this chair. There are other guys out there who don’t have these limitations. Why would anyone want to give me an opportunity? By the time I really started looking, it seemed to me the good ones were all taken,” he recalls.
Eric started kicking around the idea of online dating, but he felt hesitant. “I was worried that anyone I was going to meet online was going to be crazy.”
Then he met a woman whom he thought was really put together. He discovered that she had joined an online dating site. “I thought, ‘If she’s online, then there have to be others like her.’”
When he joined CatholicMatch, he decided not to put any geographic limits on who he would meet. “I was communicating with ladies all over the country. I’d get on a plane and have a date with someone in New York, Philadelphia, or Minnesota. “When I started to meet women through CatholicMatch, I realized that there were women out there who could see beyond my wheelchair. That was illuminating to me. I had really sold myself short thinking that I was not desirable. That realization is what motivated me to get on the plane.”
Eric had some fantastic dates—amidst a few nightmare ones—but he was beginning to get frustrated that he wasn’t meeting anyone that he felt truly compatible with. In 2013, he decided to cancel his membership. It was fun while it lasted, but he promised himself that he would never again get on a plane to meet a woman.
Then he saw Janine’s profile, and it wasn’t long before he knew he would be eating his words.
A Woman Worth Flying For
Janine had just joined CatholicMatch in July 2013. She had been considering joining for years. “I kept hearing about happy couples amongst my group of friends who had met their spouse online. I finally decided to give it a shot,” says the 32-year-old Chiropractor, who was living in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada at the time.
CatholicMatch had matched Janine to Eric, so she read his profile. Eric had sent her a message saying, ‘Thanks for checking out my profile.’ “I sent him a message back saying how much I enjoyed reading his profile because it was different than all of the others I had read,” she says.
The two emailed, talked on the phone, and Skyped from July to October. “All we could do was talk because we lived so far removed. We had learned a lot about each other before we actually met,” Eric says.
One of the things that two share in common is that they both like to workout. Eric either lifts weights or swims every day to keep fit. Janine had been a long time runner. Eric introduced her to weightlifting, and she introduced him to curling, a popular Canadian sport.
Convincing Their Families
When Janine’s family first found out she had met Eric online, they panicked. “They were nervous because they didn’t know enough about Eric and his capabilities. They were concerned about my role in his life in terms of his disability. They were concerned that I would be a caregiver. They panicked only because they didn’t know him.”
Because Janine came at the end of Eric’s time on CatholicMatch, she was grouped with all the other girls that didn’t work out. “When I finally told my family that I met Janine online, their reaction was, ‘Oh, boy here we go again! You’re not going to get on an airplane again are you?’ Before they had met her, it took awhile to convince them.”
Last First Date
Eric flew to Canada in October to celebrate a Canadian Thanksgiving—which is always on the first Monday in October—with Janine and her family. “It was nice to be with Eric. We got along so well, and we had so much in common,” she says.
Eric agrees, “It was if we had known each other all of our lives.”
For their first date, they went to a corn maze. “It was great fun; Janine was pushing my wheelchair around in the mud and dirt. She was up for anything. I spent half of the first date tipped over on my back as she was pushing me through the corn maze. I spent a lot of time looking up her nose,” he laughs.
Later they went for dinner and Eric couldn’t help thinking that he was on his last first date.
During his visit, Eric was able to meet Janine’s family and began to put their worries to rest. He took it slowly and allowed her parents time to get to know him. “The warm-up period took awhile, but none of their concerns are even a question now. They got to know the person I did,” she says.
A month later, Janine came to visit Eric in San Diego. Eric’s parents saw how good Janine and Eric were together and they stopped worrying.
The Airline Employees Were Rooting for Them
Eric and Janine made an effort to see each other every three weeks, which meant a number of flights with killer layovers.
“The best price I ever got on a plane ticket was a little over $500 the most expensive was around $1200,” Janine says. Our flights were riddled with problems for both of us. I had many unplanned nights in Denver on the way to San Diego. The attendants at the gate started to get to know us, and they knew our story. It was fun to get to know them and have them be part of our story.”
Eric adds, “They knew when I flew out that I was going to propose to her. They saw the ring before Janine did.”
Difficulties
Prior to Eric's proposing, he experienced some anxiety about where they would live. He felt that because of Canada’s severe weather and because their wheelchair accessibility wasn’t up to California’s standards, that he would not be able to move there. At the same time, he did not want to ask Janine to move to California. He felt he couldn’t take her away from her family, whom she shared a very close relationship with, and he couldn’t bear to ask her to leave her successful chiropractic practice.
“I was not prepared to have her make that sacrifice, and I was never going to ask her to leave for me. I tried to give her an out when I saw her. I told her, ‘We probably can’t see each other anymore because I can’t live here permanently and I can’t ask you to leave your family and your business.’”
"She said, ‘That’s bull sh--.’”
“Janine always surprises me. She has great faith and resolve to pursue something that she feels is worthwhile. Once I knew she ready for this, I was too,” he says.
Janine’s Willing Sacrifice
Janine looked at moving to California to be with Eric as an adventure. “I’ve never been scared of big things. In my life, I have embraced them. I loved my little practice, and I knew how difficult it would be to give up, but I embraced the adventure, and I was willing to take the leap of faith. I knew it was something I would have to do in order for Eric and me to be together,” she said with not an ounce of regret in her voice.
Even before Eric proposed, Janine had started the process of writing her board exams to get her D.C. license in the United States. “I knew I would be moving to California at some point. I started to contemplate how I was going to leave my business and my family. It was scary, and I felt sad but excited about being with Eric.”
Janine studied and took five exams for the American Board. After her application for a
permanent resident is accepted, she will be able to apply to California for a license. She also has an additional 90 hours of school to complete to meet her requirements to practice in CA.
In response to all of the work Janine has done and has yet to do, Eric exclaims: “Oh, my gosh I better be worth it! I am feeling guilty. I better get her some flowers. It’s a weighty responsibility. I am glad for the chance to be Janine’s husband and to share my life with her and to do what I can to support her personally, professionally, and spiritually. There’s nothing I can do that can compare with the sacrifice she has made.”
Wedding
On February 14, 2015, at Holy Rosary Cathedral in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, Eric was waiting for his bride. It was 38 below zero, and there was a storm raging outside.
“The pews were full with guests. My groomsmen and I hung in the back with our priest, Father Lorne, waiting for the bridal party. We listened to my friend Greg trying to scare Father Lorne into thinking that he was going to drink the holy water and sacrifice a goat… As the minutes ticked past the 3:00 start time, Janine's brother came to tell us the limo bus, loaded with the girls, was stuck in the snow.”
This turned out to be a minor delay. “When the wedding was about to start, I had a flash of nervousness that lasted about five seconds. It was the one and only time I was anxious during the entire process,” Eric says.
Once he saw the bride, he was at peace. “I cannot describe how beautiful Janine looked that day. Absolute perfection with the most radiant, joyous smile I'd ever witnessed. She was a vision of love and happiness.”
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