I should begin with how much of a skeptic I was about going on a
dating site to find someone. My mum urged me for a couple of years to
join, but I didn't feel it was for me. I finally decided that it would
be the only way that I could meet a Catholic man, and joined sometime
around April or May of 2007.
In June of 2007 I came across a
profile of a good looking man, however, noticing that he was younger
than me I decided not send him a message. I wasn't sure that I would be
able to find the maturity I was looking for in a man in someone that
was not older than me. When he found my profile apparently the age
thing was not an issue. He contacted me, and after reviewing his
profile again, I saw how dedicated he was to his work as a chef. I
figured that he would indeed need to be more mature than other men his
age in order to be the executive chef of a restaurant and to be so
outwardly passionate about it. He was 22 and I was 23. There was only
an 8 month difference, so I replied and we decided to meet and chat the
following night on MSN messenger.
To me, our first chat didn't
seem to go very well. It could have been that fact that we were using
an online chat. I don't think that our jokes were coming out quite as
they would have in person. The next day we both happened to be online
at the same time again and he started chatting with me again. I was
surprised as I truly did not get the impression that he was interested
in me, and to be honest he had made some comments that left me thinking
he was a bit cocky. We tried our chat again and it went a little
better. I think we were starting to understand each others sarcasm.
However, at the end of this second conversation I really hadn't felt
like we had connected or that we had that much "chemistry". I also had
forgot to mention to him that I would be moving within the next few
weeks. Within a few days I was without a computer as my roommate and I
had decided to get separate apartments. My computer was broken and she
moved out first so I was withou. After the move I was still
without the use of a computer, and only checked my email and Facebook
while I was at work or my Mum's.
A month or two had passed and
when I signed into my Facebook I found that he had added me. This was a
big surprise. I added him back and we started writing to each other. We
updated each other on what had been going one. We would write to each
other a few times a day sometimes. The messages were getting so long
that they couldn't fit on our wall anymore and had to start sending
messages. It didn't take me long before I started having my messages
sent to my cell phone so that I could get them right away where ever I
was.
We still were able to chat with each other on MSN whenever
I was visiting a friend or at my Mum's house. The conversations were
going much better at this point. By either September or October we had
exchanged cell phone numbers so that we could one day set up a time for
a phone call. It didn't take us long to start texting each other. Boy,
did we text. We texted each other all day long. We were sending
messages back and forth all day whether we were at work or not, and we
had still never met. We became amazing friends long before we had even
met face to face. I don't know if I need to say it, but by this point
there was an obvious "chemistry" between us. One day we graduated to
phone calls and had the greatest time laughing for hours. So now we had
use of all forms of communication besides snail mail. He made my days
wonderful. I was so happy all the time to talk to him and could never
get enough. When I worked early I could not wait for him to wake up and
send me a text, which happened to be the first thing he would do
everyday. My nights always ended with a text from him telling me "sweet
dreams". This was how he would end his phone calls at night when we
would talk till all hours of the morning as well.
Finally in
November we decided to meet. He lived only an hour away from me and we
decided that he would come visit on a Sunday after I was home from
Church. Our first date lasted about nine hours. We had some coffee at
my place, went to the zoo, out for dinner and a visit to friend of mine
that had been hearing all about him. From then on he came to see me
every week except for a couple times when he could not make it. Within
a couple of weeks we were officially dating, and he started coming
earlier so that we could go to church together.
We really had an
amazing relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. We talked about
everything. We were probably only together for a few months when we had
already had the discussion about our plans for the future and how many
kids we had hoped to have. He wasn't even freaked out about the fact
that I wanted to have six. We both had joined Catholic Match to find
someone to marry. After nearly six months we had been talking about
marriage quite a bit. More hypothetical than anything, but we both knew
what was implied. I wasn't quite ready to take the plunge though. I
found that all my previous relationships ended with me abruptly losing
all attraction to the person I was dating. I did not want to agree to
marry somebody then find out that I was no longer interested in them. I
was having a horrible time deciding on what I should do. So I decided
to have a talk with my brother and sister in-law about marriage. I also
started to pray a novena to St joseph to have him guide me in my
decision.
My conversation with my brother and his wife was very
inspirational. I wanted to know how does a person know who they are
supposed to marry. How does a person know that they are making the
right decision? They let me know that everyone has free will and we all
chose who we marry. The thing is that once you make that
decision you are promising to make it work. They told me that the best
way to know you are picking the right person is that you are choosing
your best friend. I wondered, what happens if someone else comes around
that you are more attracted to?What happens if you later find out that
someone else was better suited to you? They let me know, that that
could happen, but marriage is a promise it doesn't matter if you find
someone you find more attractive. You've created a partnership with
someone, a partnership that you cannot break and you work your hardest
to get through it. I wanted to know what happens if you lose your
attraction to the person you vowed to spend the rest of your life with.
My sister in-law responded "That's what sex is for". She explained God
put sex in a marriage to create a strong bond between husband and wife,
and to help keep an attraction going between them.
After leaving
I was pretty sure that I had found the man that I was going to marry.
He was my absolute best friend, a really good man, and I knew he would
one day be a wonderful father to my children. I finished my novena the
day before his next visit and followed it up with a trip to the
confessional. I knew my answer at this point. I didn't need St. Joseph
to appear to me in a dream and give me a vision of us walking down the
aisle. The fact that I was at ease with my decision was good enough.
The
next day we spent hanging out as usual. There was a
thunderstorm that night and we did our favorite thing. We spent the
evening outside on my deck witching the lightening and listening to the
thunder. The marriage conversation came up, and we discovered that the
same day I started my St Joseph novena he started a novena of rosaries.
We told each other that we wanted to marry one another and decided that
we would do so the following August.
We decided not to tell
anybody until he had proposed to me with a ring. August 2nd, the day
after his birthday, he made me a lovely dinner of steak and lobster. He
followed it up with a wealth of compliments and a proposal with a ring
that he had specially made for me. I knew it was coming but I still
bawled my eyes out.
Our whole family was happy. Some were in
shock that we were engaged after only being together for 8 months, but
everyone knew that it was going to happen sooner or later. We booked
the Church as soon as we could and were all set to be married on July
25th, 2009.
We were married after being together for a year and
8 months. It was the best decision I had ever made. I can't believe how
our love has grown so deeply since getting married and moving in
together. Yet our life was not yet done changing. We were three weeks
into our marriage when I announced to my husband that we were pregnant.
We were having a honeymoon baby. We were both in shock, but very happy.
I'm now awaiting the birth of our first child,
expected to arrive April 24th, 2010. People told us that a
married couple should have some time getting to know each other,
getting used to each other, and just spending time enjoying each other.
I can say that for us there was no need for waiting. We got to know
each other very well while before we were married, we spent hours every
day telling everything about ourselves. There hasn't been anything hard
to get used to after moving in with each other. We're just thrilled
that we can see each other every day instead of once or twice a week.
Being pregnant for most of our marriage has not stopped us from
spending time with each other and enjoying one another. It has been so
exciting, and a wonderful bonding experience. We both love our baby so
much and can't wait to have and hold this little one. This couple will be a family and there is nothing more joyous
than that.
I love you Bryan and can't wait until we bring this baby into our lives.
