A long-distance relationship—an international one no less—wasn’t at the top of Brendan’s priority list when he joined CatholicMatch. But a combination of reading member stories where couples connected across the ocean, along with several years of dating discouragement helped change his mind.
“I felt I had to open my heart and put my will into God’s hands, to be open to any woman I may meet through CatholicMatch, regardless of her location,” Brendan recalled. “CatholicMatch seemed to be the right conduit to potentially have this opportunity, but I did not set out to do this intentionally.”
Simply being available to date wasn’t what Brendan had set out to do intentionally—the 43-year-old from Virginia had previously been in seminary, before ultimately determining that his vocation was somewhere other than the sacred priesthood. When he ultimately entered the dating world, he knew Catholicism had to be at the cornerstone.
“My faith had always been a centerpiece of my life,” he said. “In terms of a relationship, faith would be always be important to nurture.” That decision led Brendan to sign up for CatholicMatch.
It was April of 2013 that Brendan connected with 38-year-old Lucy, who lives in Indonesia, and owns a language school that keep her and her staff of dedicated teachers very busy. “What’s the harm?” is what Brendan recalled thinking about the prospect of keeping in touch with someone on the far side of both the Pacific Ocean and the international date line. The relationship grew slowly, but surely.
“I liked our slow courtship where I didn’t feel rushed by society’s pressures and we had time to get comfortable with one another,” Brendan said. “I knew a relationship with Lucy would need time to come to full fruition, but as I have learned in life, God’s time is not our time.” They moved from messages to Skype and began to get to know each other.
“Our main Skype sessions—or as I like to call them ‘date nights’—occur on weekends,” Brendan said. “We feel blessed with the technology of Skype and other online chatting opportunities. We have also prayed the Rosary online through Skype, which is a bonding experience from both a personal and spiritual standpoint.”
They stayed in some form of communication daily—if not Skype, it was online chats. As the bond grew, the desire for a face-to-face meeting grew. This past May, 13 months after having connected online, Brendan got on a plane to Indonesia, where he and Lucy would meet in a the resort area of Bali.
It was a two-week visit and filled with both spiritual connections and fun recreational activities. They went to Adoration, attended daily Mass, and met Lucy’s family. Of particular spiritual potency was a visit to a Carmelite convent.
“We prayed for her deceased father,” Brendan recalled. “I knew then, without a doubt, that this was God’s will that I be with Lucy on this trip.”
They also had fun seeing the sights and soaking up the local culture. “From the instant I met her there was a deep chemistry,” Brendan said. “I had always seen in the movies couples walking on the beach, hand in hand and enjoying romantic times together. Our first kiss was on a secluded beach at sunset and I honestly thought I was dreaming. I thought these experiences were only fiction or in the movies.”
Brendan returned to Virginia, where he works as a public health nurse, and the hope is that Lucy will soon be granted a travel visa allowing her to make a visit to the United States around Christmas time.
Where God ultimately leads Brendan and Lucy remains to be seen, but their prayers are that marriage is what His plan will be. Ultimately, both of them are committed to finding His will above all else.
“I had always read that God knows exactly what we need and what makes us happy,” Brendan said. “I feel blessed to have a stunning young woman like Lucy. Whenever I get discouraged (over the distance) I try to focus on the phrase ‘Nothing Is Impossible With God.’”
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