A 54-Day Novena Brought Them Together
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Almost every weekend Tom would drive seven hours to see Alexis. Three months after their first date, Tom had plans to propose, which Alexis unknowing complicated. “This time I drove to Iowa to visit Tom. I ended up staying two more days than I originally planned, and I left the day Tom planned to drive to Kansas for the proposal,” Alexis, 25, remembers.
“He left an hour after I did and practically followed me to Kansas—unbeknownst to me. The GPS took me a different route than normal, and I got lost," she shares. "I couldn’t figure out why my family was constantly texting me trying to figure out where I was. It turns out once I got back onto the highway, Tom and I were about 10 minutes apart. Everyone was afraid I would see him on the road.”
When Alexis finally made it home, her family told her that there was a prayer service at church that she should attend with them. "It was the day before Thanksgiving, so all of my relatives were in town, and everyone knew about the proposal except for me!"
54- Day Novena
For one year, Alexis had unsuccessfully tried Christian Mingle where she met Catholic men who were not ready for marriage or strong in their faith. Hearing her lament about this, a friend recommended Alexis join CatholicMatch. “From the very beginning of filling out the questionnaire, I felt much more at peace, and I knew I could find a man who was serious about his faith and future,” she says.
In addition to joining CatholicMatch, Alexis began praying intentionally for a spouse. “I was entering into my last semester of nursing school, in 2014, and felt I needed to focus on my plans. I had previously been discerning whether God was calling me to marriage or religious life. I started praying a 54-day rosary novena dedicated to my future vocation at the beginning of my last semester, and that is when God brought Tom into my life.”
Tom listened to his barber
Tom hadn’t anticipated that he would ever try online dating. “I thought online dating was only for people who were ‘desperate;’ I saw it as a last resort for those who could not find love anywhere else,” recalls the 25-year-old.
But living in a small town made it look a lot more attractive to him. His barber, as well as his friends, kept telling Tom that he needed to join CatholicMatch. In the summer of 2014, he signed up for membership. “I was a little embarrassed to admit I was trying online dating. Even so, I was hoping to find someone who would join me on the path of discerning the Lord’s will for our lives.”
First move
Alexis saw Tom’s profile and sent him a smiley face emotigram. “I’ve never really been someone who starts a conversation first, so that was my way of getting Tom’s attention.”
Tom adds, “It was a good thing she took the initiative to send me that smiley face. I was only looking at profiles of women who lived within an hour drive of me, so I never would have found her if not for the smiley face. The way she reached out, but still wanted the man to make the first move, was very endearing."
Alexis liked Tom’s picture and his profile “I could tell that he was really family-oriented, he liked to be outdoors, and he was strong in every aspect of his faith. He did not sway away from any of the Church’s teachings, which was crucial to me,” she recalls. “Reading that he had been in Catholic seminary for three years caught my attention. I found it attractive that he was seriously discerning his vocation, and I also knew he would have a lot of knowledge when it came to Catholicism. Oh, and he was really cute!”
Looking at Alexis’s profile, Tom thought that she was too good to be true. “She really was beautiful, loved the outdoors, and played—and was very successful in—sports.”
It was also apparent to Tom that Alexis had a big heart. “Her profile made it clear she had spent a good deal of time serving the Church, recently at an orphanage in Haiti and with Totus Tuus. She was also dedicated to our Lord through Mass, Confession, and Adoration.”
Roommate checks in to verify if she's a serial killer
Three weeks after meeting online, they met up in a small town in Kansas, which was half way between where Tom was from in Iowa and where I was living in Kansas. As he pulled into the place they had planned to meet, Tom could feel the butterflies fluttering in his stomach.
From their meeting place, Tom and Alexis drove to Alexis's family home. “The best part about that drive was spending time in prayer and praying the rosary for our relationship,” she recalls.
Tom adds, “I agree. It was a time of deep joy and peace. As a side note, my roommate called me 20 minutes after Alexis and I met. He wanted to make sure she wasn’t a serial killer—true story.”
Surprise church proposal
Less than two months after their first date, Tom bought an engagement ring for Alexis, and he planned a surprise proposal at her home church. Secretly tailing Alexis from Iowa to Kansas was a bit nerve-wracking but she remained unaware of what he was doing.
That is until she saw him walk unexpectedly into her church wearing a shirt and tie! “I knew right away what was happening,” she shares.
As Alexis and her family were kneeling and praying the rosary, Tom came up behind her. Taking her hand, he led her up the aisle to stand before the tabernacle, and with the choir practicing in the background, he told her the many reasons he wanted to marry her. “He then knelt down before Jesus and asked if he could serve me as my husband for the rest of our lives. It was very emotional but so perfect,” she beams. “It was also incredible to have my family there to witness this special moment.”
The novena worked in spades
Alexis and Tom were amazed by the role the Blessed Mother played in their relationship. After the proposal, Alexis revealed to Tom that she had begun praying a 54-day rosary novena for her future spouse right before the two of them started talking on CatholicMatch. “This is a special novena dedicated to Mary. Throughout the novena, it is believed that in some way Mary will show you your vocation by the 27th day (middle of the novena) and by the 54th day something pertaining to your vocation will happen,” she explains. “Tom did not know I was praying this novena, but after talking, we found out that we ended up dating on the 27th day, and he bought my engagement ring on the 54th day. The exact day!”
On August 1st, 2015, Alexis and Tom were married in Alexis's home parish in Hays, Kansas. “We’ll never forget holding the crucifix while saying our vows,” the couple says. “It is a Croatian Catholic marriage tradition where the bride and groom place both hands on the crucifix and it becomes the central role during the exchange of the vows: ‘You have found your cross. And it is a cross to be loved, to be carried, a cross not to be thrown away, but to be cherished.’”
In the spring of 2016, the couple welcomed their first baby. “We happened to get pregnant on our honeymoon to Haiti. We served in the Myan orphanage, the same orphanage Alexis had served in the summer before we meet. We like to joke that our son needs a onesie that says ‘Made in Haiti.’ But the awesome thing we want to share is our son was born exactly nine months after our wedding day. What’s even more amazing is that the time he was born was the exact time (to the minute) we said our vows nine months prior.”