5 Tips for Your First Christmas as Newlyweds

It’s already several weeks into the ever-expanding Christmas season, and just like many of you, I’m excited to participate in all of my annual holiday traditions. Cookie exchanges. Holiday get-togethers. Work parties. Christmas Eve Mass. Each of these events play a special role among my family and friends and serve as small stepping stones to the main event and the true reason for the season on Christmas day.

Post-Thanksgiving, I was thrilled to pull out our boxes of decorations, trees and garland to properly outfit our new home for the first time as husband and wife, but somewhere in the midst of hanging a particularly sparkly gold ornament, it hit me:

I no longer have free reign over this joyous Christmas season. Now that I am married, these traditions are no longer my traditions. They’re our traditions, and as newlyweds, it’s our responsibility to create new traditions for the two of us and our future children. Now that’s not something that crossed my mind when we said “I do!”

So how do we forge through these weeks of Advent and Christmas being mindful of the traditions we each carried into our marriage and also our duty to build our own unique traditions?

Here are five tips for approaching and celebrating the holiday season as a newlywed:

Be open to change. One of the most eye-opening experiences in dating and especially in marriage is realizing that your “normal” is likely not your significant other’s “normal.” Maybe you always hung your stockings by the fireplace, while your significant other never had stockings in the first place. Don’t force all of your comfortable traditions from years past on your new spouse. Instead, approach your first Christmas as a chance to decide together how you want to decorate, gift, bake and worship.

Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. Everyone’s schedules quickly become jam-packed during the busy month of December. Don’t let an overflowing calendar send you and your spouse into a Christmas coma where you passively check each event off of a long list. Work together to identify the events that you want to continue to attend in the years ahead that will allow you to also have meaningful time together as a couple during the holidays. If schedules allow, move some get-togethers to a less busy month or even the summer!

Make time to give back. There’s an over abundance of opportunities during the Christmas season to donate your time, talent or treasure to someone in need. As a couple, decide on a charity that you want to donate to or a cause that you can contribute to. Sponsor a family, donate a toy, serve food at a local homeless shelter or just spend time with someone in need of a warm smile. By taking a step back and focusing on a worthwhile cause, you can strengthen your relationship with each other and help make a difference in your community.

Decide on a game plan together. Just because you always celebrated Christmas Eve with your family during your dating years doesn’t mean that same plan will work when you’re married. Openly communicate with each other about the various events that occur during the holidays and each of your expectations. Determine together how you will blend each of your family’s events and share that plan openly with your extended family to avoid hurt feelings. Carve time out now on Christmas Eve or Christmas day for just the two of you, which you can later share with your future children.

Remember what’s important. Beneath the yards of wrapping paper and platters of Christmas cookies lies the miracle of Christmas, and as a newlywed, you have the honor of sharing that holy season with your spouse. Don’t let a potential spat about Christmas light placement dim the beauty and wonder of the season.

These are just a few ideas for approaching your first Christmas as a newlywed, but there are plenty of other ways that you can navigate this new territory together. Please share in the comment box below how you work through holiday plans and traditions with your significant other or spouse, especially if there is distance involved.