3 Ways To Overcome Sunday Night Blues

"This is going to be nice," I thought to myself as I shaped fresh yeast dough into rolls and placed them in a pan. A small beef roast was in the oven, water was boiling for mashed potatoes and I hummed along to Chances Are by Johnny Mathis playing in the background as I sipped a glass of wine.

No, I didn't have company coming over, this was a Sunday dinner for me. I rarely ate dinner after I got divorced and moved to the East Coast because I had no one to cook for. But today, I was trying to take a step forward in my healing process by doing something different; trying to take the loneliness out of Sunday.

Growing up, Sundays were family day in my house. After going to Mass together, we would all come home and devour bakery-fresh doughnuts and my parents would read the paper. Then us kids would play games, my dad would nap and my mom would start making an early dinner, just like the one I was making this particular day. I didn't really care for Johnny Mathis that much, but playing his music made the day feel more like it was Sunday with the family.

Not everyone who gets divorced find Sundays to be lonely days, but a great many Catholics do. It's really hard to go to Mass by yourself and muster up an attitude of worship when you might have a real bone to pick with God over what happened. All the happy families are just a reminder of what you've lost. It's even harder when your ex-spouse still attends the same parish. So when it was my turn to face this emotional struggle, there came a point where I had to do something different to help me get through Sundays or I would fall into self-pity and deep depression. Making dinner for myself this particular Sunday was one of my first efforts on this front.

If you understand what I'm talking about and struggle with "lonely Sunday syndrome," I'd like to share with you a few of the things that helped me overcome the sadness and loneliness of Sundays and I encourage you to give them a try.

1. Go to mass.

It's so easy to stop going to Mass because you find it hard to face the rest of the parish, but not going to Mass is not the answer. Attending Mass is important because you need the graces, you need the Eucharist and you need the connection to your parish family. Whether you socialize afterward or just skip out when it's over, the community aspect helps you heal even if it's just little-by-little.

If you have a hard time listening to the readings or the sermon because of anger or resentment, take the opportunity to sort out your feelings while you are in God's presence. You don't have to be a super-Catholic, just give as much effort as you can and let God's grace do the rest.

2. Find new things to do.

Sometimes, you have to push yourself to do something even though it's the last thing you want to do. For me, it was getting out and doing things by myself. I did a lot of things like working on my golf swing at the driving range, going blueberry picking, or spending time at the beach. One day, I decided I would take a day trip to Manhattan and visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I had a hard time convincing myself this was a good idea, but once I got there, I was grateful I had made myself come. It was incredible to witness centuries of masterful art in all its various forms, but there was one painting in particular that swept me up and mesmerized me. I must have stared at it for at least 20 minutes because it was so captivating. It was the oil painting of Joan of Arc, by Jules Bastien-Lepage (French, Damvillers 1848–1884 Paris). I felt so connected to the woman in that painting . . . a young Joan looking off to the distance, anticipating the journey she would embark on, just as I was embarking on my own journey.

What about you? Do you have things you say you never have time for? Something you've always wanted to do but haven't for whatever reason? Sunday is a great time to venture out and feel more alive.

3. Don't give up hope.

This is so important, but can seem so difficult to do. Just remember that divorce does not invalidate your role as an important family member, friend or member of society. It does not erase all the good qualities you possess or all the good things you’ve done. It certainly does not negate all the incredible potential you have. Despite the trauma of your situation and the dramatic ways in which your life has changed, your divorce does not define you as a person, it just changes your direction.

God has good things waiting for you in your future all you need to do is be open to them. Don't close yourself off from the communities that surround you, take a step out and find some new experiences. You will be glad you did.

Got questions? Send them to me at asklisa@catholicmatch.com.