Would You Have The Guts To Ask Her Out Again?
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Nick liked Brianna enough to reach out to her again after he’d been rejected the first time. “Her blue eyes radiated something in my soul, and I felt an instant connection with her love of history,” shares Nick, 36. The first time he contacted her, Brianna, 29, told him that she was already involved in a relationship with another man she’d met on CatholicMatch.
Almost exactly one year later, after her breakup, Brianna rejoined CatholicMatch. “I was giving it one more try following my breakup and subsequent move from Washington D.C. to Annapolis, Maryland.”
Nick adds, “When I noticed that her location had changed from D.C. to Annapolis, I became intrigued, and I definitely wasn't going to drop the ball on this second opportunity. Before we reconnected, I had felt, deep down, that maybe she had been the one that got away.”
Nick shot off a quick message, and he hoped for the best. “A lot had changed in just a year,” says Brianna. She was willing to try things with Nick, who had recently moved back to California, but they would have to find a way to make a long distance relationship work. Despite the fact that neither of them had ever been in a long distance relationship before, they successfully spent the next six months dating long distance.
Brianna says two things made long distance work: “We made sure to carve out time to talk to each with Skype or FaceTime. Those were some of our best and most meaningful conversations. Second, we made our expectations clear throughout the process. We asked each other if we were comfortable dating long distance indefinitely or if we were unable or unwilling to move for the relationship.”
Their love warmed up a frosty D.C. night
In February 2013, Nick took the plunge and flew out to Maryland for their first visit. “I was
standing in frigidly cold weather at Reagan National Airport when she pulled up, and I remember her wearing her blue coat with her blue eyes,” remembers Nick. “We hugged both out of excitement and for warmth, and without any words, I leaned in and kissed her. I felt indescribable joy.”
“It was so great to finally see him face to face after a month of emailing and skyping, and it all just felt right,” adds Brianna.
They spent the weekend hanging out and visiting historical sites in the Annapolis area. The couple describes it as a wonderful weekend, and storms out West that delayed his departure a day made it even better.
They continued to develop their relationship online and throughout three more visits before Nick decided to make the move to Maryland. Nick’s willingness to move was part of what made their relationship work. “We spent a lot of time discussing our goals and plans for the future. He is an easygoing guy who loves to travel and is willing to move pretty much anywhere. He has since moved again for my career—about six months after our wedding—back to my hometown in Colorado. We spent a lot of time talking in the early months about our goals, dreams, and expectations, and it helped us.” says Brianna.
“As we became serious and began talking about relocation, the choice of who would move was easy to make. Brianna has a career as a librarian that she loves and had a great job with the government while I was unemployed,” explains Nick.
Perfect proposal for a librarian
On August 23, 2014, Nick took Brianna to spend the day in Washington DC playing tourist. They
started the day with a tour of the U.S. Capitol building, and then they planned to stop in for a bit at the Library of Congress.
On their way to the Library of Congress, Brianna chattered about the library posters and the exhibit they were planning to see, but Nick was too nervous to pay attention. On the spot where he'd found out eighteen months earlier that he'd be able to extend his first visit with Brianna an extra day, Nick proposed. "
I turned to look at him and found him down on one knee in front of me, God, the Library and a whole bunch of tourists. It was the perfect proposal for this librarian and the perfect way to start off the next phase of our relationship."
They not only planned their wedding; they planned for their future
“We spent a lot of time during our engagement thoughtfully preparing for marriage,” shares the couple. They enjoyed their time planning their wedding, making many of their decorations from old book pages, and they even enjoyed determining the logistics of planning a long distance wedding.
But, Brianna adds, they also focused on the marriage after the wedding. In addition to the marriage preparation program through their parish, the couple strove to draw closer to one another by replicating psychologist Arthur Aron’s experiment, which was said to make two strangers fall in love by having them ask and answer 36 questions designed to create intimacy, followed by four minutes of them gazing into each other’s eyes. “We learned some new things and got some nice, quiet, reflective time together,” shares Brianna.
In addition to those 36 questions, they also worked through a list of 100 questions to discuss with your future spouse. “We kept it in the car to work through on long car rides.”
On a beautiful fall day in October 2015, Brianna and Nick gathered in Colorado with their family and friends from all over the country to celebrate their Nuptial Mass.
“The stress and craziness of planning a wedding from Maryland, coordinating with family in two other states and finalizing details, was all forgotten when I saw him standing at the altar,” says Brianna. “I’ll never forget the sense of peace and fulfillment that washed over me when I saw him.” After the Mass, they celebrated in a reception centered around their mutual love for books and history.
Looking back on over a year of marriage, Brianna shares: “The journey has been more incredible than I ever could have imagined. While life isn’t perfect, we each put 100% into our marriage each day. He’s my best friend, my adventuring buddy, and the love of my life. I am very thankful for our deliberate, thoughtful approach to dating and preparing for our marriage. I’m looking forward to all the adventures to come.”