After two failed CatholicMatch relationships, Amy was almost ready to give up on online dating. Through prayer, the 26-year-old from Washington State started to realize that maybe the showy type of men she was attracted to were not ideal for her.
“In April of 2012, I had been praying to St. Anthony, St. Rita, and St. Jude the patron saints of things lost or lost causes. I was feeling down and thinking that finding someone was a lost cause. I thought that I was never going to find someone who likes me and works well with me because I am too outspoken.”
Amy had prayed—even pleaded—for God to send her a good husband. She wanted someone who would be able to lead the family. Then she saw Sam’s profile. He was 27-year-old from Oregon. He was outdoorsy and different than the men she had dated; he was the strong silent type like John Wayne.
She was attracted to how manly Sam appeared, so she messaged him—though there is a bit of controversy about who actually made first contact. Sam claims that he was the first one to message Amy. He sent her a short message saying, “Hi,” but Amy doesn’t remember getting the message.
Sam had been praying to God to send him a dark-haired woman who would help him grow in his faith. It just so happened that Amy had the dark hair and the strong faith that Sam found attractive.
Through CatholicMatch, they sent messages back and forth every day for a couple of months. “This was a great way to start off our relationship because we got to know one another pretty well before we even touched hands.”
After a couple of months of writing each other, Amy asked Sam if he was ever going to call her. He confided that he had wanted to ask for her phone number more than once, but he refrained because he knew Amy had been hurt in past relationships, so he didn’t want to rush her. “He was super understanding and careful with my feelings, and still is today!”
In July of 2012, they started talking on the phone daily and they were happy to discover that they found each other equally attractive on the phone as they had in their letters.
Just As Manly in Person
They decided to meet the beginning of August for their first date. Amy would make the five and half hour drive from Washington to Portland, OR. “I was driving down this long driveway to meet him on a ranch in the middle of nowhere and I started to panic a little. I thought, ‘What am I doing? Why aren’t I meeting him in a public area? He could be a murderer or something.’
When she arrived at the ranch, Sam showed her around and let her see and hold some of the animals. Then they went for a picnic lunch by the river. They were feeling a little nervous on their first date, but the tension was broken when a duck, concealed in a nearby bush, suddenly started quacking loudly causing Sam and Amy to startle. Their peals of laughter lightened their day and put them at ease.
Amy fell in love with Sam because of his quiet strength and his gentleness. She discovered that he was every bit as manly in person as he was in his profile. She liked how steady and humble he was, and she found that he was always surprising her. Out of the blue, she would discover interesting things about him. “I remember saying, ‘Oh, you know Karate.’ or ‘You own land in Alaska!'" [Sam's home state is Alaska].
Amy thinks that she would never have dated Sam if they hadn’t met online.
“My personality is kind of overpowering. I would never have thought I’d do well with this type of guy. Before I met Sam, I was always falling for the wrong type of guy. It was a really good blessing that we met online first.”
When Amy took Sam home to meet her family, they instantly fell in love with him. Her parents told her, “We love Sam way more than any other boyfriend you have ever brought home.”
The two spent the next year driving back and forth and meeting halfway.
Not the Proposal She Expected
Amy had thought Sam was going to ask her to marry in August of 2013, on their one-year anniversary, because Sam had always said that they wouldn’t talk about marriage until they had dated for one year. Consequently, when he told her to dress up and that he had this great present for her, she was expecting a ring. “I thought, ‘Oh, he’s really going to ask me then.’ And then he pulls out this small box and I think, ‘Oh, my gosh this is it!’ and he opens the box and it’s a necklace,” she exhales.
“I didn’t know how to react, but I was upset and sad. He had no idea that I was thinking he was going to propose.”
Sam is not the showy type so in November 2013, when Sam finally proposed it was very simple. He leaned towards her and said, “Babe, would you go ahead and marry me?”
“I told him, ‘You have to get down on one knee.’” So he got down on one knee for her and he gave her the ring.
“It wasn’t the kind of proposal I expected, but I actually like the story of how we got engaged. Now there is those fad, elaborate, and charming proposals, which don't give the girl a chance to say, ‘No.’ or ‘Let me think about it.’ Also, it’s not real life. It makes me wonder what the rest of their lives are going to be like. Is there whole life going to be like this? It puts a high expectation on their relationship. If that’s the beginning point, then how are you going to top that?”
On August 2, 2014, they were married at St. Mary’s in Marysville, WA. Almost all of Sam's family traveled from Alaska to attend the wedding including his nine siblings.
A Strong Man to Lean on During the Storm
A series of tragedies and difficulties have tested their marriage. It all started soon after the two were engaged. A month after Sam proposed, his father died.
Then in October of 2014, there was the
minister at the Catholic Church in Marysville when the shooting happened, so she was heavily involved in counseling teens from the area. Later, she was laid off from her job through no fault of her own.
This was followed by a difficult pregnancy where Amy ended up delivering their baby boy, Max, two-month premature in May of 2015. “He weighed only three pounds. Sam stayed with us the whole time because he’s that type of good guy. He helped me to be calm because he’s so calm and grounded. We always look at each other and say, I wouldn’t want to go through this with anyone else, but you.”
Amy is thankful that God sent her a strong, steady husband to withstand the storms that every marriage and individual eventually experiences.
She advises members to be honest about who they are, so you have a better chance of meeting the ideal person for you.
“I had more success on CatholicMatch once I was honest about who I was in real life, made my profile more transparent, and when I didn't compromise or settle for what I needed in a spouse.”
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