Ken had tried using secular dating sites like Match but found it challenging to find a fellow Catholic and someone who shared his faith, morals, and goals. He eventually gravitated towards CatholicMatch, seemingly the best bet to find a wholesome Catholic woman. Just a month after moving from Phoenix, Arizona, to Indianapolis, Indiana, and still settling into his new city, in August 2022, he met Sophie.
Sophie, from Ontario, Canada, had helped some friends in the past create their CatholicMatch accounts but hadn’t yet taken the leap to make one for herself. Eventually, she was ready to invest time and focus on her own dating life, and she created a CatholicMatch profile. Only a few days after that, she connected with Ken.
The distance between them seemed too great at first.
While searching through profiles, Sophie quickly found Ken’s and was impressed with the eloquence with which he wrote his profile, and his photos brought a smile to her face. She was so impressed she decided to make the first move and send him a message. “I just felt like it was a breath of fresh air coming across his profile, so I decided to step out of my comfort zone and just say, “Hi,” Sophie recalled. Her first message was simply, ‘Hi 😍.’
As the saying goes, “She had him at hello!”
After seeing the smiley-faced message, Ken looked through her profile and was instantly drawn to the depth of her personality and the beauty on display in her photos. He was impressed that her profile highlighted how she centered her life around helping others improve their own and the gratitude and joy she possessed in being a daughter of Christ. Her hopes and dreams for what she was looking for in a partner, from faith to family to fun, were right in line with his own.
One final aspect that sealed the deal for Ken, which made him first believe that this could be ‘the one,’ was the name of this new connection: Sophie. From an early age, Ken always had a special affinity for the name Sophie. When he received that first message saying hello to him, and there her name was Sophie, he took it as a significant signal grace that God, through the intercession of His Blessed Mother, was bringing to Ken the answer to his prayers in the clearest, most convincing way possible.
But no precious pearl can ever be attained without great effort and fortitude.
Ken’s heart sank when he noticed her location at the top of her profile: Canada. Sitting 800 miles across the border from where he lived, he became discouraged that the distance could be too great for a real relationship to be feasible. He had finally connected with this woman, who appeared to be a perfect match for him, only to have her reside an 8-hour drive away. Not sure what to do or how to respond, he decided to sleep on it.
The next day, he responded, and the pair quickly hit it off with free-flowing and natural conversations that continued throughout the week, and the pair continued to grow more and more interested in each other. However, the question of distance still lingered, so after about a week of exchanging messages, Ken thought it prudent to have a heart-to-heart conversation before their heads and hearts became more entwined. He told Sophie he was exceedingly interested in her, impressed by her, and wanted to get to know her more. But he didn’t want to continue if they ultimately didn’t think a real relationship was possible, given the distance between them. He didn’t want his or Sophie’s heart to be hurt more down the road if they didn’t believe that they could make this work together. Sophie’s response to this critical message is what set the stage for everything that was to follow.
Sophie acknowledged that the distance would be a challenge, but if Ken was willing to put in the time and energy to make a long-distance dating relationship work, with the phone calls, travel, and everything in between, just like she was, they shouldn’t put limits on what God can bring together. Sophie continued and opened up to Ken about what was most important to her in a relationship: raising a healthy, holy, and happy Catholic family. If he wanted the same thing and was willing to do what was necessary to make a relationship successful, so was she.
For Ken, her reply could not have been any more perfect.
“That was the perfect response. And it was the moment we came to this realization that we had finally met someone that wanted the exact same thing as we did, to do right by God in His eyes with our lives, and that that’s what we’re ultimately in this for, and that we would go the distance if God so led us. We cooperated with His Grace,” Ken recalled.
For the next few weeks, Sophie and Ken continued exchanging messages, had phone calls, and several virtual dates to help shrink the physical distance between them. These conversations and video dates went so well that Ken asked Sophie to be his girlfriend before meeting her in person, unwilling to risk her getting away! Ready to take that next step and meet in person, the couple decided to meet halfway between Toronto and Indy for a few days at a lakehouse in Fenton, Michigan.
He day-tripped to El Paso to ensure he’d see Sophie.
When planning the first date, the pair devised a plan B that included some excursions in Canada, closer to Sophie. The only problem with this plan was that Ken didn’t have a passport. With roughly three weeks until the trip, Ken’s only option was to get an expedited, same-day passport, available only at five locations in the country. The only open timeslot he could find in that timeframe was in El Paso, Texas, which was made available due to a cancellation, and it was for the very next day!
So, without hesitating, he quickly went online to check out flights, booked a couple of tickets, and drove from Indianapolis to Chicago, where he caught a flight to Dallas and then finally to El Paso. He landed around 2 A.M., running on adrenaline and excitement, more than sleep. The next day, he got his passport and, with that in hand, traveled back to Indianapolis. All this traveling to ensure he would meet Sophie for their first date, whether in the U.S. or Canada. “I think he likes me,” Sophie quipped, noting what an excursion it was for Ken to accomplish such a feat in such a short time frame.
For the first hour of their first date, they didn’t say a word to each other.
Before rendezvousing at the lake house location, the couple planned to first meet at the National Shrine of the Little Flower Basilica for evening Mass and adoration. Sophie arrived first and anxiously waited for Ken, not sure which doors he would enter through since this was a rounded church with several entrances at different angles.
After hitting some traffic, Ken walked in a minute before Mass was scheduled to begin through the exact same door Sophie had entered through! He spotted her immediately, though the church had hundreds of faithful present. He walked over to her pew, genuflected in the aisle, and slid into the pew. The new couple then locked eyes on each other for the very first time and exchanged a wide smile and soft hello. Just a moment later Mass began.
“We were able to have our first face-to-face conversation right after we celebrated the sacraments together, which I thought was a very beautiful and intimate way of meeting someone for the first time and beginning our relationship from the very first moment centered around God, worshipping Him and showing our gratitude to Him for all that He provides for us and blesses us with,” Sophie said.
After their Fenton trip, Sophie and Ken spent the next year of their relationship traveling to each other’s cities and exploring new ones.
They also met each other’s families early on. During their year of dating, Ken moved back to Phoenix, so the distance between them more than doubled to 2,100 miles. But it could not stop this dynamic duo! They made the distance work by being very intentional about visiting each other often and spending quality time together during each visit, so it didn’t feel like a long-distance relationship at all. Some destinations the pair visited included the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, Las Vegas, Vancouver, and many others. During these trips, they enjoyed hiking, attending comedy shows and wine tours, and, of course, attending Sunday Mass and frequenting the sacraments together at every opportunity.
By Providence, their engagement date fell on a major Marian feast.
After six months of dating, Ken was ready to propose to Sophie. “I knew in my heart very early on that I wanted to marry her, and then it was just coming up with the best place and plan for the proposal to make it memorable and special, as she deserved. I don’t think it took me too long to really see that this woman was the one for me and who I wanted to marry and spend my life with,” Ken recalled.
He planned to propose during a trip to Lake Tahoe, California. The proposal would take place on a mountaintop at Emerald Bay State Park that was a whopping 7,000 feet above sea level with a beautiful backdrop of the bay below surrounded by tall, lush evergreen trees populating the vast mountain range, overwatched by fluffy white clouds in the sky above. He even hired photographers to blend into the background and capture the moment. Ken planned for the proposal to be on their one-year anniversary, August 14th.
There was one hiccup, though: he didn’t have the engagement ring yet.
The ring was custom-made in Israel and was sent to Switzerland before being shipped to the United States. It was scheduled to arrive at Ken’s home in Phoenix on the 15th, and he needed to be there to sign for it!
They departed for Lake Tahoe on August 12th and spent the first few days of their trip enjoying the sun, sand, and beach. When the 14th arrived, Ken was at a loss as to how to explain to Sophie that he needed to travel back to Phoenix for half a day while keeping his proposal plans hidden and not spoiling the surprise. Ultimately, he tried to play it as smoothly as possible while also being aware that Sophie likely had a good idea of what was in store for that week, even if she didn’t know the exact time and place when Ken might pop the question. Ken told Sophie that he needed to day-trip back to Phoenix to be home to receive a “package” and sign for it. Sophie naturally prodded and asked what type of package it was—asking if it was shiny or if it sparkled. With a wink and smile, Ken said that she would find out soon. He caught the first flight out of Reno, Nevada, to Phoenix, and an hour after he walked in the door back at home, the FedEx truck arrived with Sophie’s engagement ring. Ken signed for the package and hurriedly booked a flight back to Reno that afternoon. He was gone and back to Lake Tahoe in about 12 hours.
Then August 15th came, the feast day of the Assumption of Mary. Ken told Sophie that he’d like to go out for a hike in the early afternoon but to dress a little nicer so they could take some pictures together, another hint to Sophie of what might lie in store on this hike. Ultimately, the hike brought them to an outcrop at the top of Emerald Bay, where Ken dropped to one knee and asked Sophie to be his wife. And to his immeasurable glee, she said “yes!”
The whole sequence of events only added to the excitement of the moment and ultimately placed their engagement date on the special feast day of the Assumption of Mary.
“What I absolutely love about this whole situation is that Mary has been such a big part of our relationship. And when we got engaged, it was the feast day of the Assumption of Mary. This wasn’t how we planned it but we are glad it’s how it turned out. The 15th of August will now always be doubly special for both Ken and me,” Sophie said. The next day, the couple attended a local Mass to thank God for this newly received and wondrous blessing, and a couple of months later, the couple was betrothed in a ceremony at Ken’s parish of Mater Misericordia in Phoenix.
They were married on another great Marian feast.
The newly engaged couple unwittingly scheduled their wedding for another major Marian feast day, June 8th, the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. They ultimately chose to get married at Sophie’s parish, St. Benedict Catholic Church in Milton, Ontario, deciding not to endure the intense Summer heat of Phoenix on their wedding day. The pair partook in marriage preparation in both Canada and the U.S., even though they weren’t required to do so, in order to absorb as much information as possible to prepare for their journey into married life.
While meeting a priest at the parish for marriage prep, the priest noticed the date the pair had chosen to get married, and the date that they were engaged on, and he exclaimed, “Wow! Do you two have a special devotion to Mary? Because those are the two most important Marian feast days.” They saw this as another signal grace, and a tangible example of Mary’s involvement in their lives and courtship. “Mary has been a part of our courtship and author of our love story since the very beggining, and she continues to influence us and surprise us,” Sophie said.
The couple decided to hold their wedding reception in the parish hall, which Sophie transformed into an elegant and classical wedding venue. She took on the bulk of the wedding planning herself, with help from her bridesmaids, and immersed herself in making her special day and this special place as magical as possible. “I’ve been a guest at a number of weddings and seen many different venues, none have looked as beautifully put together and decorated as our venue was, thanks to all the planning and coordinating that Sophie did for me, for us, and for our guests. I know everyone that was there celebrating with us that day will remember the beauty of that setting for a long time to come,” Ken recalled.
The wedding day finally arrived on June 8th, and with Fr. Jerek presiding, Ken and Sophie entered into the sacrament of Holy Matrimony. Ken’s eyes welled up with the happiest of tears when he saw Sophie walking down the aisle in her “Most magnificent pure white wedding dress, a delicate veil draped over her face, her arms linked with her mother and brother, appearing like an angel approaching me,” Ken recalled. “I started to get tears in my eyes; the realization and living out of a long-held dream, my beautiful bride coming to meet me at the altar, to be married in the presence of God, in the Catholic Church, with all our closest friends and family there with us,” he added.
They each remember the beauty of that special mass. “The wedding Mass was a really special hour, to be there together, to know we’re doing it the right way, as God intended. For us, it was a point of pride, all thanks be to God and by His grace, but a point of pride for us to have our wedding in the Catholic Church and have the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony together,” Ken recalled.
After the Mass, the newly-wed couple had photos taken in a courtyard garden area at the Milton Town Hall with a magnificent backdrop, on grounds full of beautiful green grass, lush budding rose bushes, and even ivy-covered walls that encircled them. The forecast called for rain all day, but in perhaps an act of Divine Providence, the rain held off long enough for the pair to finish having their photos taken. They then returned to the St. Benedict Church hall for the wedding reception, where they ate, drank, and were merry with friends and family until the clock struck midnight, like a true fairytale!
Their marriage bore fruits before they were even married.
Since the Catholic faith was very important to Ken and Sophie, they wanted the wedding to be an excellent example for their family and friends. This example bore fruit before the wedding day even arrived, when the weekend of the wedding, Fr. Jerek made himself available for confession in the dimly lit, relaxing, and holy atmosphere of the church late into the evening for any suppliants who wished to receive the sacrament. The priest even stayed at the church as late as 10:30 pm to hear confessions.
Some of the couple’s friends and family, who hadn’t been to confession in years, felt compelled to go that weekend. “Your love is already bringing people closer to God,” Fr. Jerek told the couple. “A lot of people don’t seek that out on their own, or worldly concerns keep them away from making time for it, but if they’re in that environment, the Holy Spirit moves them to action, and we’re glad that this occasion presented them this opportunity,” Sophie said.
Adjustments to married life...
The newlyweds enjoyed a fairytale honeymoon at Sandals Emerald Bay Resort in the Bahamas shortly after the wedding day, with beautiful, crystal-clear, perfectly warm ocean water softly lapping the white sand-filled beach. When deciding where to go for the honeymoon, Ken noticed the location and name of the bay, and since he had proposed to Sophie at Emerald Bay in Lake Tahoe, he took this as another signal grace that that’s where they were meant to go for their honeymoon. “Mary was looking out for us, guiding us, and taking some of the burden off of us to figure out the answers to these questions: Where do I propose? Where do we go for the honeymoon? She led us to both places,” Ken recalled.
The couple is settling in together and is happy to have closed the distance gap and finally be living under one roof. “It’s been great; we’ve had such peace and joy; we could really feel the grace of the sacrament working through us and between us as we begin our married life together,” Ken said.
Advice for CatholicMatch users:
Sophie advises CatholicMatch users to be open and honest with potential matches. Emphasizing that when you speak from the heart, you can inspire someone in a way that stirs something up within them. She also advises users not to limit God’s ability to connect people and, along those lines, to keep an open mind when looking through profiles. “Open your heart and mind and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you, and try not to have a narrow vision when you’re looking at profiles. God works in mysterious ways, and He can absolutely surprise you in ways you least expect. So, don’t limit God’s creativity in your life,” she said.
Ken agreed, noting how Sophie helped him break down natural human notions about what’s possible or probable, that even the most improbable is possible with God. “You know, on the surface, the likelihood of me, being from Indiana, and Sophie, living in Canada, ultimately falling in love, getting married, and living happily ever after was unlikely. And yet, here we are, Sophie and I are now happily married, enjoying the bliss of marriage together, so it can happen, and we are proof that it does happen.”
He added that users need to continue to pray to God to help lead them and guide them to finding their match. He noted his devotion to St. Raphael, a patron saint of relationships while using the site. “I prayed a special prayer to St. Raphael, a prayer to him for help in finding a suitable marriage partner. I also recited that prayer as part of my vows that I said to Sophie after the wedding at our reception for our friends and family to hear. It was so important to me, for one, to say to Sophie and all there present that she was the answer to my prayers, and two, to pay my gratitude to St. Raphael for what he did for me, helping to lead me to Sophie and her to me.” Ken also emphasized praying the rosary daily and asking Mary to lead you to the right person and guide you through courtship.
Both Ken and Sophie emphasize the importance of following God’s will and finding a spouse who will help you get to Heaven, a partner who will help deepen your faith and grow in virtue. “If you find someone that you have that strong foundation in the Catholic faith with, it makes the rest of the relationship fall into place naturally. “You can already be confident that you will be like-minded in the most critical aspects of life: faith and morals. Which the Church, in her superabundant wisdom, teaches and makes known to the faithful. Having found someone with the same core beliefs as you, the things that really matter, you won’t be too concerned with the little quirks or nuances that we, as unique individuals, all possess and which might seem a little foreign to your partner at first. And you’re more than willing to accept their flaws because they are just a small component of really this great blessing of having found a similar soul who wants the same thing as you: to serve and glorify God and get to Heaven together,” Ken said.
Sophie echoed these sentiments, saying that a lot of people get tunnel vision while dating. “They get so desperate, or they get overly critical, seeking perfection yet being imperfect themselves, but they’d be best served to take a deep breath and enjoy living in the moment. Because so many people’s minds are elsewhere, they really just have to enjoy and embrace the person that’s there and not expect perfection but recognize each other’s humanity. And say, ‘Hey, we’re compatible on all these very important core topics; let’s enjoy each other’s company and see what God has in store for us because we can always be confident that God only wants good things for His children,” she said.
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