For Heather and Philip, their shared faith, their matching outfits when they met, and their fondness for a certain fantasy fiction series weren’t the only signs they were meant to be together.
One other detail in Philip’s online biography was key.
“He was also a single parent so I knew he’d understand,” she said.
Heather's daughter encouraged her to join CatholicMatch.
Heather, now in her early 40s, had been an on-again-off-again user of CatholicMatch for a while. “I was a single mom and didn’t really have time to date. I talked to a few people and even met a few but nothing ever clicked,” Heather said.
She finally committed to online dating at the urging of her daughter. Soon after, she was matched with Philip and sent him an emoji.
Her late timing turned out to be just the right timing. Philip, now also in his early 40s, had been on CatholicMatch for at least a year. He had signed up after seeing an advertisement in his parish bulletin.
“I saw Heather’s profile about a year before we actually started communicating. I didn’t click on her because it didn’t say we were a match at that time. We weren’t matched until the second time I got back on a year later,” Philip said.
They exchanged emojis and then Heather sent her number. Philip preferred to text rather than call. Then he told her he wouldn’t have his phone at all while he was on a retreat. “He thought I’d think he was lying and stop talking to him, but I believed him. He finally called me after his retreat,” Heather said.
From the moment they met, there was already something there.
After the retreat, they finally talked over the phone and discovered many common interests, including their passion for Harry Potter. “I’m a huge Harry Potter fan and he told me how I could find out what house I belonged to. I took the test and I came back as Ravenclaw. He was Huffelpuff. At least it wasn’t Slytherin,” Heather said.
For their first date, Heather and Philip, who live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, decided to check out the zoo. They agreed that Philip would pick her up.
“I will never forget seeing him walk up the sidewalk. It’s so cliché but there was already something there. We both remember that moment so clearly and knew it was the moment that changed our lives forever. It felt so natural to hug him, so I did,” Heather said.
It also just so happened that they happened to be wearing matching outfits—perhaps yet another sign they were meant for each other.
Like many relationships, they experienced doubts, but shared interests kept them together.
Still there were some doubts. At the time, Heather’s sister had been hospitalized due to an illness. “I told him I was going to be on my phone texting periodically. He told me later he thought I was going to use that as an excuse to end the date,” Heather said.
But Heather didn’t and the date went on. The end of their time at the zoo brought yet another potential sign they were meant to be together. “He asked me to ride the carousel with him at the end of the date and he had no idea how integral carousels and carousel horses were in my life. I had been collecting since I was young and studying them for a long time. We rode the carousel and it was amazing,” Heather said.
Afterwards they had dinner and Philip dropped her off. Instead of flowers, he gave her a Ravenclaw beanie. (“Best gift ever!” Heather said.)
They felt convinced God had meant them for each other.
About a month after meeting, on Christmas Eve in 2016, Heather said she became certain they were meant to be together. “He invited me and my daughter to go with him to midnight Mass. We were getting ready and I had this intense image of him giving me the Eucharist at Communion. It was so powerful. It was like God telling me ‘He will bring you closer to me,’” Heather said.
Philip came to the same conclusion because of “[e]verything we had in common, the ability to share our faith.” Plus, “God told me!” he said.
“I can be myself around her, goofy, nerdy, and she loves me for who I am and doesn’t try to change me. She is my best friend. We have so much in common. We both love snow cones. God watches over our families when we’re together,” Philip added.
Since both were single parents, they already understood so much of each other's struggles and joys.
As single parents they also faced distinctive challenges in moving forward in their relationship.
“I’ve had to learn to let him open my doors. It’s hard for me to release some of the control I’ve had to maintain as a single mom. It’s still a challenge for me to remember that when I make decisions it impacts him so I have to bring him into the decision-making process,” Heather said.
Her daughter, who is in her early 20s, also was a factor. “It took some time for my daughter to adjust because she had never seen me in a relationship before and didn’t like sharing her mom,” Heather said.
Heather and Philip got engaged on July 31, 2017 and were married on January 19, 2018.
Sometimes your wedding doesn't go as planned...
Some weddings are flawlessly choreographed pageants of matrimony. Not this one.
The wedding occurred smackdab in the middle of a particularly bad flu season. A number of close family members on both sides were so sick they couldn’t attend and the parish priest with whom they had worked so hard to prepare for everything was taken out of commission too.
The day before the wedding, they were still looking for a substitute priest.
They found one, only to discover another vital vacancy when they showed up at the church: the wedding photographer had also been stricken with the flu and was not able to come. Instead, the parish secretary did her best to shoot the wedding—using a camera borrowed from the church.
It wasn’t the only thing that went wrong on the big day.
The groomsmen didn’t all have boutonnieres, so Heather’s daughter had to craft a makeshift one from the altar flowers.
As the ceremony got underway, things continued to go awry.
He didn't even know our names!
“The substitute priest didn't even know our names during the ceremony. He skipped several important customary pieces like the lasso and presentation of the Rosary and Bible. Philip and I were directing the lectors and other participants during the mass. Everyone was confused and nothing went as we had rehearsed,” Heather said.
“Nobody knew what was going on and I'm pretty sure that instead of saying ‘I do’ I said ‘yeah,’” Heather added.
Even during the reception there was a mishap. For a while, the sound system was out, meaning there was no music. Eventually, a guest was able to get things working again.
Despite all the things that went wrong, one thing went right and it was the most important thing: Heather and Philip got married!
“Even with the issues we encountered our wedding was beautiful! God has joined us together and giving us a great story to tell! I thank God every day for bringing Philip into my life!” Heather said.
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