Carl kept showing up as a match for Sue, but she decided not to contact him because he had three cats. But then she received a message from Carl. “At that point, I decided to give him a chance. I thought that if he was really special, I could compromise and live with having cats,” Sue, 65, recalls.
She had joined CatholicMatch after receiving an annulment because she still felt called to the vocation of marriage. “The posts from the CatholicMatch Institute helped me see that CatholicMatch could help me choose wisely.”
Carl, a 69-year-old widower, had tried other dating sites, but he hadn't had any luck finding a
Catholic. After being on CatholicMatch for about six months, he sent Sue, who lived in the same city, Milwaukee, a message. He was interested in her because he saw from her profile that she valued her faith and that she, like him, was seeking a serious commitment.
First Date No-Show Didn't Faze Them
After messaging for about a month, they decided to meet in person. Unfortunately, there was a miscommunication and they ended up not meeting. “Rather than getting mad or offended, we both decided to try again,” says Carl.
They set up another date to meet for coffee. “When we first saw each other, I hoped she wasn't disappointed on seeing me because I was happy to see her,” Carl remembers.
Sue adds, “I first saw Carl in the parking lot because we had both arrived extra early. I was happy to see he was as tall as he said he was, as a previous online date was considerably shorter than advertised (I'm 5'8”, and wanted to look “up” to my husband).”
They had expected the date to be short, but they ended up talking for five hours. “After a while, we both noticed how dark it was getting outside and that the coffee shop people had started to sweep up around us. That's when we found out five hours had gone by without our noticing,” Sue says. “We were just so comfortable talking together.”
Over the next weeks and months, they gradually discovered that they had many of the same values, and they felt that they were well-matched. Their families were happy for them, but they did caution them that it's important to be careful when meeting someone online.
Casual, but Sweet Proposal
It was on a long car trip after seeing a model train show that Carl casually asked Sue, “Do you ever think about getting married? We could do this all the time!” Two days later, on January 23, 2015, when Carl came to her, she was straightforward and asked him how seriously he was
thinking about marriage.
Very Seriously! That same day they went to pick out rings.
On June 27, 2015, they were married at Sue's home parish, Sacred Heart of Jesus, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. "I was just so happy to finally have Sue within arm's length for the rest of my life," says Carl.
Recalling the reception after the wedding, Sue says that they were quite overwhelmed by the day. “We belong to an English historical dance group, wearing costumes and performing dances from the 1770s colonial America. We chose a lovely dance especially for the wedding, but when it came time to dance, we both spaced out. We were completely confused, even though we had been perfect in practices!” Sue remembers.
Dealing with the Cats
Married life has been a joy for the couple, but the cats remain an annoyance for Sue—loving Carl has not magically changed her into a cat-lover.
The cats have been the cause of extra work for her, especially in the kitchen and with food preparation. "My food cupboards have to have latches on them and the trash cans are similarly locked, making more work for me in the kitchen. I continually have to scrub the countertops before starting to cook."
Another problem for Sue is keeping the cats from getting into mischief. "We have to keep them from getting into the basement and destroying Carl's extensive model trains. Only one of the cats is a real problem, meowing loudly and climbing up on us or our work surfaces, begging for attention and never seeming satisfied."
She says, "However, being married to Carl is totally worth all the trouble the cats cause. He is loving, supportive, and grateful for all that I do and all that I am to him. He daily thanks me for meals and expresses gratitude for my presence in his life. He knows I merely tolerate the cats and is understanding of that. He fully intends not to replace them with new cats when these eventually die (they are 10 years old)."
Despite any conflict caused by the cats, they feel blessed by God to have met and married.
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