As my favorite time of year begins to descend upon us with slow, deliberate, cat-like steps, common questions arise in the hearts and minds of couples anywhere that the cold weather has begun to settle in.
Yes, the world is colder and so picnics and seaside excursions are less enticing than they are in the warmed winds. And as lovely as going and visiting coffee shops are, it can be expensive to keep your cocoa in constant supply. Similarly, it can become painfully repetitive to spend every day indoors perpetually engaged in that nebulous activity of “hanging out.”
But dreary drudgery need not contaminate dating; try instead, perhaps, some of these low-budget, potentially entertaining couples-based activities!
1. Find some art to discuss (or at the very least argue about).
Listen to a concept album, have a bottle of ‘fancy’ wine, and get some cheese and bread.
A concept album is (as many of you know, I’m sure) an album that, from start to finish, tells a story. Get your significant other, go to your preferred music streaming site (if you’re not a traditionalist who already owns the albums on CD or vinyl), light a few candles, get the best speaker system you can find, open your bottle of preferred drink, and listen. Engage in the music—even print out the lyrics to read whilst you listen—that’s how I like to do it.
And the point isn’t even to "culture oneself" or "appreciate high-class art forms." You should listen to an album from beginning to end as the artist intended for the audience to listen to it. Sit and talk with your significant other about songs you like or dislike. What lines grab your interest? You don’t need to agree on it, but hopefully it gives you something to think about and discuss. If you’re in need of suggestions for concept album, here are just a few of my favorites:
- “The Wall” by Pink Floyd
- “Astral Weeks” or “Common One” by Van Morrison
- “Hadestown” by Anias Mitchell
- “Tommy” by The Who
If you’re not into those suggestions, try Miles Davis’ “Kind of Blue.”
2. Popcorn, Apples, and Cheese night!
This is your movie night suggestion—I don’t mean that you’re sitting down to watch a cinematic masterpiece. I mean that you are having a Popcorn, Apples, and Cheese night—a classic staple in my house.
Make yourself a big ol’ batch of stovetop popcorn with butter, salt, and a little garlic powder. Get some gala apples or honeycrisps—something light, sweet, and firm that you can cut into thin slices. Then get yourself some cheese—most any kind will do. Novice cheese eaters enjoy a medium cheddar, the more varied taste can have a goat cheese or an Irish cheddar, or advanced connoisseurs can have manchego with a touch of honey drizzled o’er it.
Regardless, after you’ve gotten your dinner together, this is the game plan: get your biggest, coziest sweaters, get your fluffiest blanket, and turn on an old, playful movie. We’re talkin’ The Day the Earth Stood Still, or Disney classics, or Casablanca. Maybe you love Jimmy Stuart or Audrey Hepburn. They’re great choices. The whole point of a Popcorn, Apples, and Cheese night is that you’re enjoying a comfortable night in with a movie that everyone can enjoy.
And if you and your date are part of the cynical or sarcastic crowd, you can feel free to turn on one of the worst films you can think of. The idea is that you get to sit and appreciate the time with your significant other with a feel-good film that doesn’t demand serious attention—something you can talk through.
3. Go for a walk.
No, seriously. No, it’s not because I live in California—I mean it! Go on a walk!
One of the best dates that I’ve ever had in my life was to go on a walk in the International Forest of Friendship (which seriously had me worried that the woman was going to friend-zone me, but now she’s my wife, so if that was her goal she failed spectacularly) in Atchison, Kansas, in the middle of January. The ice was thick and uneven, it was frigid and uncomfortable, and my date was in a wheelchair. This was easy set up for the perfect nightmare date. Of course, it ended well enough, seeing as we were married.
Samuel Clemens would be the first man to tell you that life is best spent when there is adventure in it. Go out seeking the worst date possible, and I guarantee you that (whether or not it lives down to your expectations) it will be memorable.
4. Raid a bookstore.
A friend of mine (who is now a priest) once told me that he thought you could learn more intimate, dirty secrets about a man by perusing his bookshelf than you could by seeing his porn collection. The comment always shocked and amused me, because it is true.
People’s bookshelves contain bits of their soul, and they leave them sitting out where anyone could walk by and see them. And if you want to get to know your date, I am quite certain this principle yet applies.
Go to a large bookstore—used or new, it does not really matter so long as it has places to sit—and raid the aisles. Go your separate ways, pull down books. Whether you know the books and love them or you’ve never heard about them, but they just seem interesting by their titles, grab them. Collect your haul, nestle into a corner, and see what your date was intrigued by. Show them what caught your interest. It should be wildly entertaining.
5. Get your board game on.
You never fully know the person you’re courting until you’ve played a board game with them.
It’s how you separate the losers from the absurdly competitive. And board games work either for ‘group hangs’ or for the more private setting. If you aren’t like me and you don’t have an extensive board game collection crowding your enormous book collection, here are a few suggestions for games that might suit your fancy:
- Carcassonne
- Settlers of Catan (It’s more fun with three or four players, but my wife and I still play it all the time.)
- Hive
- Forbidden Island or Pandemic (which are co-operative rather than competitive)
- Agricola
If board games aren’t your thing (but earnestly, not even checkers, chess, or connect four?), then you could try a two-person card game like Rummy, Golf, or Spit. My wife always likes to beat me at Golf...
6. Go see the Christmas displays!
Perhaps it’s some sort of holiday cliché, but I'll admit: I am a sucker for a good Christmas light display.
This harkens back to my suggestion of going for a walk seeking potential disasters, but instead this has a pleasant twist. Gathering your most absurd holiday sweater, pack a backpack with chocolate oranges and thermoses filled with piping hot cider or cocoa. Pull on mittens and ear muffs, pile into a car, and find out where the most concentrated gathering of Christmas lights is in your immediate area. Sing carols loudly and wildly out of key. Fill your date with the inherent joy of the season. I know it’s not extravagant, but it can be quite magical.
Enjoy your Christmas season, all!
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