After a broken engagement, getting back into the dating scene seemed a daunting task to Samantha, a 26-year-old from Missouri. She had been with her fiancé for almost four years when the two of them mutually decided to end the relationship.
“I had no idea how to get back out there. My best friend urged me to join a Christian dating site. In particular, a Catholic site since it was important to me that I marry a Catholic and we raise any future children in the Church,” Samantha says.
In 2012, just one week after signing up for a membership, Stephan, 26, sent Samantha a message asking her which town she lived in and which parish she attended.
“Stephan had been on the site for 10 months prior to finding me, and his subscription was just about to run out. He hadn't planned on renewing since it had almost been a year with no real potential,” she recalls.
In his messages, he told her that he thought his sister attended her church. Though Stephan was from North Dakota, Stephen's sister had moved to the same town in Missouri where Samantha lived.
Laptops Don't Like Rain
“After that first conversation, we connected instantly! Then God ruined my computer," said Samantha. "Well, maybe not God, but that is how I will always think of it. I had been out on my deck listening to music on my laptop one night when the phone started ringing inside my house. I ran inside to answer it when all of the sudden rain started pouring down outside! My computer was destroyed. And so was my way to communicate with the great guy I had just met online!”
Samantha wasn’t going to let Stephan slip away just because her computer got destroyed. “I did something I would normally never do and gave him my phone number even though we had only been talking for a couple of nights online. He could've been a total creeper, but luckily he wasn't. Giving him my number was the best decision I ever made.”
One month later—and many hours of late night phone conversations later—they decided to meet in person. “I flew to North Dakota to be his date for his best friend’s wedding. Little did I know that I was about to meet everyone he had ever known—his parents and the whole town of people he grew up with. It was terrifying, but it was also pretty great! “
After spending a week together, they both knew that something special was happening. Over the next year, they began taking turns flying back and forth once a month for dates.
Parents Meeting Leads to Big Move
Around the fourth of July, they decided that things were serious enough that their parents should meet. Stephan wanted to ask Samantha’s dad's permission before asking her to marry him.
“My mom and dad flew up with me, and we spent a week with Stephan's family. Everyone hit it off really well!”
However, something very unexpected happened during their visit. Someone mentioned to Samantha’s Dad that the local county desperately needed an assistant state’s attorney. “My dad happened
to have a lot of experience with this sort of thing. He went out on a limb and applied for the job. They asked if he could do an interview while he was up visiting. He agreed and was offered the position on the spot. Considering the state of the economy at the time, my dad's private practice had suffered tremendously, and my parents had already been looking for potential employment in other states.”
Samantha had already been considering moving to North Dakota to be near Stephan. “After a lot of prayer and deliberation, my parents and I decided to make the move. We loaded up everything, and we headed to North Dakota.”
Everything was falling into place so nicely. Samantha, who is a cosmetologist, was able to find the perfect building for her to open a new salon in the town where Stephan resided. Then a week after she made the move, Stephan proposed; six months later, they were married on June 29, 2013, and three weeks later they were expecting. “Another surprise from God because I had previously been told that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant right away without surgery.”
Married Life
Samantha says one of the best things about being married is that they don’t have to travel anymore, so they get to see each other every morning. Another is their son, Jack, who was born on May 5, 2014.
There are challenges of being a married couple. She laughingly says, “The biggest challenge of being married for us was everything! Marriage is hard! Anyone who says otherwise is a dirty liar,” she laughs.
For her, the adjustment may have been more difficult than it typically is because she got married soon after some big life changes, including a move and restarting her business.
Getting used to being a part of another family has been a growth experience for her and Stephan. “When two close-knit Catholic families come together, it is an adjustment, to say the least. Everyone has their own way of doing things… We are blessed to be so near our parents but like all big families, there are going to be disagreements and in turn, compromises, which you have to constantly be willing to make. In marriage, you are forced to grow as a Christian and as a person.”
A Baby is Life-Changing
“Having a child changes your priorities in a way you could never imagine. You have to take care of your own needs as well as someone else's 24-7. But it is a gift that gives back in every way imaginable. You don't realize how much love your heart can hold until you see your baby smile.”
For Samantha, having a baby also helped her to grow spiritually. “It really opens your mind to how God must feel about each of us. It fills your heart with sympathy for the Blessed Virgin. You think you cried when you watched The Passion of Christ for the first time? Watch it after you become a parent!”
Having a baby has also helped her to grow in love for Stephan. “You also don't realize how much you could possibly love your spouse until you see them with your baby. My husband can make me so mad at him I could wring his neck, but then I see him play with Jack and I just can't stay mad at him. This is how God must feel about us!"
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