Princess, in her mid-30s, joined CatholicMatch out of curiosity. “My friends were doing it, and I was trying to get over a broken heart.”
Rich, 35, whose status was "seeking friendship only," joined because he wanted to find someone who he could pray with, and who would attend Latin Mass, retreats, and sacred music concerts with him. He wasn’t sure if he was available for marriage. “I was openly discerning the religious life. It began when I was a teenager, and I figured I'd wait until I was almost 40 to decide.”
After being a member for several months, she sent a “wink” to Rich, and he answered her.
Princess found that she had a lot in common with Rich and that she enjoyed talking to him. “Rich was a sensible guy to talk to. We have the same religious beliefs, and we both worked in the health field. We also both like to eat out.”
Rich adds, “I was impressed by how easily we communicated.”
Princess underestimated herself
In June of 2012, two months after meeting online, the two New Yorkers met for their first date.
“We attended a Latin Mass, and then we had lunch at an Indian restaurant. “I felt very awkward the whole time because I was thinking how very good looking he is, and that I was just too plain looking,” Princess recalls.
Rich didn’t agree. “I felt unique in her presence.”
Afterward, they went to The Cloisters and talked there for a while. “At the end of the day when we were about to part ways, he stole a kiss,” Princess remembers fondly.
Mixed signals
When Rich started seeing Princess, he made it clear to her that he had a desire to be a monk. “When he told me this, I was confused because why would he register to a dating site if he wants to live a life away from society?”
She also wondered if he was using this as a way to get out of a serious relationship with her. “When he mentioned it again a couple of times, I thought, 'He just wants to get rid of me.'”
Despite these roadblocks, they continued to date.
“There were many instances when I almost gave up on our relationship, and every time I felt like it, I prayed,” she explains.
St. Catherine of Siena Surprise
On April 29, 2015, after seeing each other for almost three years, Rich had a surprise in store for his Princess. A year before proposing, he discerned that religious life was not his calling, but he didn’t mention this to Princess. “At age 37, after visiting a vocation director, I realized I did not have a genuine calling in that regard, that I was trying to escape the world I resented, and that I could be of better service to God as a forgiving layman and stable husband.”
They agreed to meet up for Mass at St. Catherine of Siena on her feast day. “It was a very long mass, and I was tired and hungry because I came from work," recalls Princess.
When Mass ended, Rich said ‘We’ll walk to Central Park,’ Princess recalls. “I was hesitant to walk because it was getting late and the weather was a bit chilly.”
They ended up stopping at the St. Raphael fountain in Central Park. Rich opened his backpack and was looking for something. “He told me to close my eyes.”
When he asked her to open her eyes, Princess saw Rich kneeling in front of her. He asked, “Will you marry me?”
“I was surprised because he said that he was not going to get married; that he wanted to be a monk. I said ‘yes’ to marry him because I would miss him so much every time we’d say goodbye and go back to our respective apartments after spending time with each other.”
On June 2, they were married in a small, simple ceremony by their priest.
Enjoying the simplicity of married life
Rich shares, “The joy of being married is the slow daily up and down bonding process of living for another.
Princess is like no one I've ever known. I am grateful we pray together before meals and go to Mass. That we are affectionate and that we appreciate simple things.”
Princess adds, “I enjoy that we care about each other. That I have someone to talk to about things that happened in each day. Saying ‘I love you’ and the sweet words we say to each other before going to sleep, when leaving for work, and in the middle of the day.”
There are also challenges for the couple, but “we accept we are human, not perfect, but with God in our lives, we can rest in a love that’s honest and unconditional,” Rich says.
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