Phyllis no longer had a subscription when she received a message from Gianni, on October 18th, 2015, so she was unable to read what he wrote. “I had been on CatholicMatch for a few months and was not successful in meeting anyone, so I moved on to another dating site, looking for my Catholic match,” explains the 55-year-old from Michigan.
Curious as to what Gianni’s message said, she debated whether or not it was worth the price of a membership to read his
email and to be able to respond to it. “From his profile, he sounded like a nice guy. He had two children that were not too far off in age from mine and had sent them to Catholic school, as I had done with mine. He lived locally, and his profile picture had a beautiful smile that lit up his eyes,” says Phyllis, whose prior marriage was annulled.
The men she was meeting on the secular dating site she had joined did not possess the Catholic values that Phyllis was looking for, so she took a chance on CatholicMatch again. “I decided to go ahead and risk it, and I know now it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.”
He was skeptical
Gianni had never tried online dating before, so he was skeptical and had no idea how successful it would be. He was a new member when he decided to message Phyllis. “Besides her being Catholic, I liked the fact that we had children of similar ages and she lived locally. We also liked the same types of foods, music, and movies,” says Gianni, 50.
A soon as he received Phyllis’s reply, he wasn’t feeling so skeptical anymore.
Impromptu first date
Even thou
gh they only lived a half hour apart, Gianni and Phyllis decided that they would meet for their first date in a month’s time after they were freed up from family commitments. But those plans changed. “I just happened to be in his town visiting with a friend [on November 7, 2015]," Phyllis says. "Thinking Gianni was out of town, I sent him a random text telling him I was in his town. He responded that he was actually home, and he made a spur of the moment decision to invite me over. Acting on faith, I accepted and went to his house.”
They ended up talking nonstop for six hours with no sign of their conversation running dry.
One thing that the couple could share was having gone through the annulment process—though they had very different experiences. For Phyllis, the annulment process was easy for her. “My former spouse was not Catholic and did not recognize our marriage as a sacrament.”
Gianni's was much more labor intensive. “Due to there being insufficient grounds according to the Defender of the Bond, I was required to provide additional information beyond the initial submissions, and all of the information was reviewed by an outside psychologist whose testimony was supportive enough to help grant the annulment,” he explains.
Making it work with different schedules
The couple works opposite shifts, so they had to put the effort in finding opportunities to see one another. "Our third date, Gianni asked me to go to Mass with him, which really touched me—we've gone to Mass together every weekend since! On what we considered to be our fourth date, he asked if he could bring me lunch to the hospital where I work. Not only did Gianni bring lunch, but he brought it in a picnic basket with a linen tablecloth and napkins. He'd made a trip to the bakery to get fresh croissants for chicken salad sandwiches. I was very impressed by the extra care and detail he put into making lunch plans."
Phyllis would see over and over what a wonderful man Gianni was. "He is genuinely the most caring and thoughtful man I have ever met," she beams.
Family’s feelings
Both Phyllis and Gianni’s have grown children, so they hadn’t considered what their children might think about their meeting someone online. "Even so, they recognized that we were both lonely and wanted to see us happy," she says.
Happiness has been the fruit of their relationship. “It has been nothing but a positive experience for both of us. It's hard to remember not being in this relationship,” he shares.
Their children knew about the proposal before Phyllis
At a rar
e time when their families were all together, Gianni took the opportunity to pop the question, on October 22, 2016. “Even though our children have all met at various times, with Gianni's two away at separate colleges and my youngest living out of state since she graduated from college, there had not been an opportunity for all of our family to be together at one time,” she explains. “When my youngest was coming from North Carolina to visit for a few days, we organized a dinner with the children and grandchildren. After dinner, the plan was for everyone to go to Gianni's house for dessert.”
Unbeknownst to Phyllis, Gianni had already told all of the children he was going to propose that night. “When everyone was gathered he made a beautiful speech about the impact I'd had on his life, pulled a ring out of his pocket, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him. It was an incredibly beautiful and romantic moment, and I'm so glad it was shared with our families,” she shares.
The couple was joined in Holy Matrimony on July 22, 2017, at St. Therese of Lisieux Catholic Church in Wayland, Michigan.
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